Grey40 Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 So this girl would snapchat and text me pretty frequently for an entire week..multiple times a day. Went on a first date, and now she's cut that down A LOT. To where I feel if I don't reach out she won't. No snaps now hardly and only texts me when I text her. (Only texted her twice, with a full day in between) so I'm not doing anything needy. My text involved asking her out again to which she said she should probably be free. Safe to say she's lost interest?
PinkPampies Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 So this girl would snapchat and text me pretty frequently for an entire week..multiple times a day. Went on a first date, and now she's cut that down A LOT. To where I feel if I don't reach out she won't. No snaps now hardly and only texts me when I text her. (Only texted her twice, with a full day in between) so I'm not doing anything needy. My text involved asking her out again to which she said she should probably be free. Safe to say she's lost interest? I do that when I lost interest after a date. Sounds like it. Keep it moving!
winny Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I would think she isn't that interested. She might be deciding if you are worth a second date or not...
ExpatInItaly Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Yes, it sounds like she has lost interest. 1
Gaeta Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Yes she lost interest. Remember everything said and done before a first meeting means nothing. When you meet it's back to square one.
leogirl876 Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 So this girl would snapchat and text me pretty frequently for an entire week..multiple times a day. Went on a first date, and now she's cut that down A LOT. To where I feel if I don't reach out she won't. No snaps now hardly and only texts me when I text her. (Only texted her twice, with a full day in between) so I'm not doing anything needy. My text involved asking her out again to which she said she should probably be free. Safe to say she's lost interest? Not necessarily. Some girls don't reach out in the beginning because they are seeing how interested the guy is and how much effort he'll put in. And some girls don't wanna come across as if they're chasing the guy. Instead of just texting her to say what's up, actually set up a date. 2
selinaluv Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 My text involved asking her out again to which she said she should probably be free. Safe to say she's lost interest? Don't be vague. If you want to see her again, pick a day and time and ask if she wants to go on another date on that day and time. Then she will make the call and you will know.
Author Grey40 Posted January 26, 2017 Author Posted January 26, 2017 Asked her out last night around 9pm (set a specific date/time for this weekend). She just replied this morning and said "sorry I had a busy night last night lol yeah that's fine" Weird. So she agreed to the date but in the least thrilling or excited way possible. Should I expect her to bail?
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 it's only a second date.....how much thrill do you need? She agreed, now run with it. 2
winny Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Asked her out last night around 9pm (set a specific date/time for this weekend). She just replied this morning and said "sorry I had a busy night last night lol yeah that's fine" Weird. So she agreed to the date but in the least thrilling or excited way possible. Should I expect her to bail? OMG!! I laughed so hard when I read the highlighted part... NO ONE can predict what she would do. And I agree with smackie... whats there to be super excited... ha ha ha
Miss Spider Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Asked her out last night around 9pm (set a specific date/time for this weekend). She just replied this morning and said "sorry I had a busy night last night lol yeah that's fine" Weird. So she agreed to the date but in the least thrilling or excited way possible. Should I expect her to bail? You hadn't asked her out again? No wonder she pulled back. Set that up ASAP next time.
Gaeta Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Sorry but *yeah that's fine* is a mediocre answer. She might as well answer *whatever* it would be the same. And how old is this woman that she cannot accept a date invitation properly with *yes l would like that, or l'd love to*. She could have shown a bit of enthusiasm. Geez
Author Grey40 Posted January 26, 2017 Author Posted January 26, 2017 OMG!! I laughed so hard when I read the highlighted part... NO ONE can predict what she would do. And I agree with smackie... whats there to be super excited... ha ha ha There's really no need to put people down on here. The point was that she was excited before the first meet up and now seems to e considerably less excited. And the first date did not go bad. I didn't make a move on her, or schedukeca second date on the spot, perhaps that's why. Or she got worried about the 5 year relationship o got out of, which she even said bothered her because she's worried we'd get serious and I'd go back to my ex. So she's probably just putting her walls up
GemmaUK Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 She's just not interested - polite but not interested.
Author Grey40 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 it's only a second date.....how much thrill do you need? She agreed, now run with it. I am. She texted me about two hours ago asking how my day way, I responded and she didn't reply. She takes hours to respond now after that first date, completely different than beforehand. But she's interested to some degre because she agreed to another date. So maybe she's just playing some stupid game or is being told to act aloof or uninterested? Very confusing. She's 22, so could definitley be the case. Don't tell me to date older, I'm focused on people who show interest I'm not putting age filters up. Obviously if she finds a way to bail on this date I'll know the answer.
Author Grey40 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 Also this seems to be a recurring problem for me, wonder if any of you could help me. I have no problem getting girls interested in going on a date with me via online or in person..getting their number and getting them to agree and show up to a date I have no issue, but they always seem to lose interest A LOT either after the first or second date. I know it's a common issue a lot of people complain about, and like people on here have told me before, it probably has nothing to do with me they just didn't "feel" it. And that's fine. But what bothers me is that they are SO into the idea of meeting and can't seem to leave me alone/become slightly obsessed until we actually meet, then it's like "oh, this isn't what I thought" its hard not to put blame on yourself.
thecrucible Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I am. She texted me about two hours ago asking how my day way, I responded and she didn't reply. She takes hours to respond now after that first date, completely different than beforehand. But she's interested to some degre because she agreed to another date. So maybe she's just playing some stupid game or is being told to act aloof or uninterested? Very confusing. She's 22, so could definitley be the case. Don't tell me to date older, I'm focused on people who show interest I'm not putting age filters up. Obviously if she finds a way to bail on this date I'll know the answer. Don't assume she's playing games. Maybe she's just on the fence and wants a second date to confirm what she's feeling. But do what smackie said. Don't worry about that. Go on the date and focus on having a fun time.
Author Grey40 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 Don't assume she's playing games. Maybe she's just on the fence and wants a second date to confirm what she's feeling. But do what smackie said. Don't worry about that. Go on the date and focus on having a fun time. Yeah definitley. That was my initial gut feeling is that she's unsure if she's interested I guess. She's been hurt in the past and probably doesn't want to put much investment in too early, and probably all subconsciously. Like a defensive mechanism to protect herself from potential hurt. Either that or she's uninterested but willing to give me a second chance to see if anything changes, which is probably more likely. Either way, it's not going to bother me, I'm going to go and have a good time definitley, I guess I was just looking for people who may have experienced a similar situation. But if it quacks like a duck, it is a duck so they say. She's showing a lot of signs of disinterest, and that's most likely exactly what it is. 9/10 times
Author Grey40 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 (edited) Sorry but *yeah that's fine* is a mediocre answer. She might as well answer *whatever* it would be the same. And how old is this woman that she cannot accept a date invitation properly with *yes l would like that, or l'd love to*. She could have shown a bit of enthusiasm. Geez Yup, this was the major red flag to me that made me make this thread. "Yeah that's fine" to a date is a really crappy way of confirming something--it's like saying "sure whatever, I don't really care". Normally I wouldn't read too much into it, but the way she agreed to the first date was MUCH difffwrent...enthusiastic, excited a lot of emoticons, exclamation points etc. now it's like setting up a business transaction or a meet up with one of my friends "yeah that's fine". Now that I think about it, she did keep hinting on the date that she wasn't good enough for me. She said stuff like "Why are you single? It doesn't make sense" "If you're feeling bored you can leave at anytime, no pressure"? "I want you to know that I'm kind of the jealous type, Would you be mad about that? I don't like when girls give my guy attention" Edited January 27, 2017 by Grey40
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 She's 22, so could definitley be the case. Don't tell me to date older, I'm focused on people who show interest I'm not putting age filters up. You knew I was gonna drive by here again right ;-) You don't want to date older BUT you expect these 21-22 years old to carry themselves like 27-28 years old women. If you continue dating 22 years old then expect more 'yeah sure' or 'I am jealous'. When you're online why not set up a meeting with a woman that is more grounded and that doesn't use 100 happy faces and exclamations marks, in other words a woman that does not act so much 'teen'. Pick her at any age but pick wisely. All that fluffy stuff before meeting means nothing. I searched a long time before finding my bf and met many many men. Everyone on here told me my men picker was off. I didn't believe it, I fought it, and got plenty of 100 posts treads to prove it. Turns out the folks on here were right. I did not know how to pick a good date. 3
Miss Spider Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 ^ yeah that. the "omg yea lol yea that's fine. ive been so busy idgaf" is pretty normal with her age group considered. Same with the snapchattiness. Which leads me to another point, she's flirting and sending snaps to a stranger (you) she's probably doing it to other guys. So maybe another guy(s) has got her interest piqued too..so she's faded. Just speculation 1
hercules22 Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 see how it goes if she flakes then move on lol
fireflywy Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Throw her a curve ball.... write an old fashioned letter to her about your week and write in cursive. Lol Seriously though, you need to start making actual phone calls. Text messages and emailing leave too much to the imagination on how other people respond to us or what type of rapport we develop with people. Start using the power of an actual voice to call and if you do get something set up, make it novel and fun (not just a simple dinner).
Author Grey40 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 (edited) Throw her a curve ball.... write an old fashioned letter to her about your week and write in cursive. Lol Seriously though, you need to start making actual phone calls. Text messages and emailing leave too much to the imagination on how other people respond to us or what type of rapport we develop with people. Start using the power of an actual voice to call and if you do get something set up, make it novel and fun (not just a simple dinner). While I do like that idea of a phone call, it's something that just isn't generally or widely accepted in the younger generation (people my age and younger). Not on the first or second date. People my age just aren't used to connecting to people that way, we've been using texting and instant messaging since we were little kids. Everyone's different--Some girls won't mind, some will find it attractive and some will find it downright creepy and too forward. Texting is pretty universally accepted and there's no risk of coming off too strong like a phone call. It's a safer bet. Just my .02 cents. Yeah there are tons of downsides to texting, but it's just pretty standard in 2017. Edited January 27, 2017 by Grey40
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 While I do like that idea of a phone call, it's something that just isn't generally or widely accepted in the younger generation (people my age and younger). Not on the first or second date. People my age just aren't used to connecting to people that way, we've been using texting and instant messaging since we were little kids. Everyone's different--Some girls won't mind, some will find it attractive and some will find it downright creepy and too forward. Texting is pretty universally accepted and there's no risk of coming off too strong like a phone call. It's a safer bet. Just my .02 cents. Yeah there are tons of downsides to texting, but it's just pretty standard in 2017. Grey: I hate to to this to you but. * A 22 year old is not 'people your age'. You are about to turn 30. You and those young post-teens are not from the same generation. * At your age you should refer to them as women, not girls. * I have a daughter of 29 so I know what is standard with people your age. my daughter has a huge network of friends, is all all social media, and she still uses 'calling' and still appreciates a man that will 'call' her. * If you like those younger women because they're more bubbly, energetic, carefree than you have to accept this is what you're gonna get + the downside of it = immature, avoiding, non-committal, more into their friends than their bf, etc. 2
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