Quarterly Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I remember i cheated once as i was getting no attention, i was sad and i was trying to use it as damage control for the inevitable dumping that was imminent., i was going with a girl i loved, loved everything about her. but she felt sorry for her exl because he was depressed, and i found out she had plans to move to dublin to be with him again. (she started dating me before she broke up with him, we worked together). Fantastically beautiful, WAY out of my league. She everntually broke up with him. But something was up, i got my first car and she wouldn't drive me up there to collect it, had to get my cousin to collect it. So there was definitely something up. She broke up with me eventually and went to see him. It lasted like 2 days and she came back to me saying she didn't know what she was thinking, she just pitied him. And we had a fantastic relationship after that. She didn't sleep with him or even kiss him in the break. I think as she was with him for 7 years, her first boyfriend from high school, when she met me she wasn't happy with him. She told me i was really handsome and that she was crazy about me from the first time she saw me. We ended up sitting together on the same big table and messaging eachother and playing little flirty games. i didn't think i had a chance as she was with someone for so long. Even my mate said the first time i saw her "You've got no chance, she has a boyfriend for 7 years". But i said to her anyway "Hi there, i know you're new, but if you have any problems or need help with anything, you can come to me as i'm a manager here". she said when i was talking to her she wasn't expecting anyone to be so nice and she said she thought i was dreamy. She said another time not long after that we were in the canteen and i was talking and she said she was sitting there drooling over me lol. Anyway eventually she asked for my phone number incase she needed someone to send her work hours on to her, she text me straight away from outside in her car asking could i send the hours on. So now i had her number.. We started texting eachother alot. and i don't remember how it escalated, but we had a staff night out then a while after that, she we were standing back to talking, she was talking to the girls i was talking to the guys, and i noticed her putting her hand back secretly so no one could see and holding my hand.. i literally felt all dizzy and amazing. Then when we stopped chatting to people we stood by this pillar that kinda blocked our view to alot of the other co workers and we holding hands and i was getting close to her and running my lips over her neck and she said it's giving her goosebumps, then her friend kept saying "Gemma you can't do that people will see you" basically saying someone might say something and it'd get back to her boyfriend. anyway we kept together and touching eachother and talking we had a couple of little kisses. I swear to you guys, it was the most amazing feeling i ever had in my life. This girl was SO beautiful, nearly all the guys who worked with us had a crush on her. A few guys kept saying to me "Are you seeing Gemma? Doesn't she have a boyfriend?" i'd deny it and they were saying man she's ****ing amazing". so that amped it up even more for me. I'll tell you what she looked like, since the first day i saw her i gave her a nickname of Miranda Kerr. She was almost IDENTICAL to that girl but she had blonde wavy hair sometimes. Anytime she'd come in with the kind lighly curled blonde hair (which made her look SO beautiful) i'd compliment her on it. So she kept cong in with that hair style when normally she'd straighten her hair. So she obviously like the fact i told her she was beautiful and she knew i was into her. The other girl that sat on our table (there were 4 desks on the table split with a little wall that you could only see a little bit over it. But anytime we were doing anything i'd look at her and she'd be looking at me and giving me a little flirty smile. I can't even describe the feeling of this lusty love attraction. When she touched my skin i got shivers and goosebumps and i know it's rude but she could give me an erection just by touching my neck with her lips or putting her hand on the inside of my arm where my bicep is and running her fingers over the soft skin in there. Eventually i told her "ffs you've done something to me... what did you do? and i pointed at the quite obvious boner i had through my jeans, and itook her hand and pushed it onto my erection through my jeans and let go and she was gently squeezing it and rubbing and she kept saying "Oh my god did i do this to you? ****, that feels amazing tony... I know it seems weird but this is a true story. I swear on my Nieces life. I'd never do that for a lie. We never properly kissed yet as people were around, but eventually we had a passionate kiss and our mouths just seem to fit perfectly with eachother for the most amazing sexy kiss and it obviously gave me an erection lol. at that point she told me "**** i can feel it" and i said what? she said i'm so wet". and she took my hand and put in up her fairly low skirt so i had to go up quite a bit and she was making me feel how wet she was through her knickers, while that was happening ipulled her knickers across to the side gently and rubbed my finger in btween her lips very gently and she was soaked and warm and soft and she was just mesmerized and was looking straight into my eyes with that look, she pulled me closer to her and started kissing me, and then i pulled my hand out and she said "you dirty boy" and laughed. Anyway things went on like this for a while. Eventually we arranged to go out alone. We went out together to a local late bar. She looked incredible, skinny jeans, some fairly high heels, a beautiful femanine top, and a beautiful faded jean jacket. She also had this new hairstyle she tried that ended up being my favorite hairstyle of all of them. She had a long sraigh pony tailed, and her fringe/bang were like a big bump, with a click in the middle of her head holding it up like that. made her look SO ****ing elegant and sexy, and what made her even more attractive was the fact that she got an honors degree in Computer Science and programming, and she was incredibly talented at math. So she was smart, stunningly beautiful, and was 100% into me. That same night my ex just happened to be in the same place standing just across from us with her friend. She felt a little threatened by her by saying like "you were with her for 6.5 years? You must have loved her alot. She;s so pretty. I told her it just fizzled out, but she still loved me. And she said "Do you still love her? I just don't think i can compete with her. And thats when i said "Gemma, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, i've never been so attracted to someone in my life, you're the funniest, smarted mose beautiful woman i've ever met... and after a little pause she said "I think you're the one".. i said really?? in actual shock, and she said yep. I've never felt even close to this anymore. Just being around you makes me feel, i don't know. Excited, scared, exstatic, hopeful. Even the slightest touch from you, when you put your finhers through my hair and run you fingers gently around my scalp it gives me goosebumps and makes me close my eyes and get close to you. After a while after a kinda date, she came back to my place to drop me off in her car, and we stood in my hall way, just cuddling really close, she had her head to the side perfectly fitting on my chest with my arms wrapped full around her, and she said "I feel so safe and happy here, i don't want you to let me go, i love when you hold me like this. Then she'd leave, and she'd have to drive for 40 mins to get home. The entire time she'd be texting me talking again about how much the little things make her tingle etc. So one night she actually came in, my cousin and his new girlfriend (who just happened to be Gemma best friend) was on one couch, and we were on the other one, we were lauhing so hard i accidentically farted lol. She thought this was hilarious and said can we go up to bed. I said yes and the other guys were like "This is the night is it?? good luck, be happy. She smiled at me and led me up the stairs by the hand. we lay at the end of my best and i startged taking my clothes and boxer shorts of while we were gently touching eachother and kissing. Then i started taking of her jumper and unclasping her bra. When i did this she made a light "ahhh" sound, immeidtaly her beautiful breast came out and her nipples were beautiful and a little but erect, and she said "can you see that? thats for you. Then i did the most amazing thing in my life i slowly started to put her knickers down, silky light pink ones. I knew she wanted it as she lifted up her hip while i did it. I pulled then down to her knees and moved closer to her. I was hard and we went chest to chest and started passionately kissing i was holding her bum and pusshing her into me and she was making little noises. Then we went up the proper end of the bed with the pillows, i was half ontop of her with my leg over her and was gently massing her breast, i was kissing her, then i moved more ontop of her and i said the best word of my life, my heart was thumping and i could feel hers to and i said "Gem, i think i love you", and she was like what? oh my god really hunni? and i said yes really. She said will you say it again for me? I've never really heard someone im crazy about say it. I said "Gemma, I love you. and she nearly broke into tears. i was shaking, andi gently built up to it, rubbing my penis against her vagina whiles kissing and running my fingers down the side of her breast and down her side to her hip which was giving her goosebumps and making her sigh with pleasure. Eventually she opened her legs a little more and i finally gently pushed my head between her sift swollen lips. She was shaking and she put her warm soft hand gently onto my but cheeked and after a couple of minutes she gently pulled me deeper and depper into her little by little and she said "don't hurt me tony" i said i wont. i eventually was all the way inside her, and we were looking into eachothers eye while i started to gently thrust, this went on for a while, we were finally having beautiful intimate sex. I started to feel like i was coming and i said something stupid (I wasn't wearing a condom so i could feel everything properly and said "gem, would you mind if i came inside you?" i thought she say no. But she said do you really want to? i said yes, she said that so amazing, she said of course you can come inside me tony, please. i woulcn't believe it. The feeling came and as i was coming i was getting those massive beautiful waves you get when you're coming and i started speeding up and she started pulling me into her further and further, her cheeks were all flushed and her chest was all red ( great sign) she said "Tell me when you're coming love) i told her i was cumming and she wrapped her legs and arms around me and pulled me into her as tight as possible, then i ****ing EXPLODED into, it was the longest and most beautiful ejactulation i'd ever felt in my life. She was wrecked from it and said looking in my eyes "That was absolutely beautiful, i've never felt that before, being so careful not to hurt me and it being so intimate and slow, Tony, i love you to. I really mean that. I just can't get you out of my head. And now we've done it, there's not turning back now and i don't want to. She said "So now you've got me are you going to ger distant and drop me like you do all the other girls you've been seeing before me? i heard you do that. I'd be devastated. I said "Gem, i've never felt like this about a girl before. Believe me, i'm yours. Thats it, i'm literally yours now, and you are mine if you want to be. She said "Of course i want you, i'm in love like i've never felt before. She then turned around and asked me to spoon her and swrap my arms around her to keep her safe and so she could feel me behind her and wapping my warm arms around her. We got the most lovely sleep 'we ever had. We woke up the next more, and she was taking pictures of me while i was just after waking up. i was was shy and said i looked terrible when i'm tired but she was adamant that i looked incredible. She just lay there on her side proper her head up bu lenaing on her elbow and she just kept looking at me and looking into my eyes and smiling. i said "Why are you so happy and what are ya looking at. And she said "You, you loser lol", "You're so pretty". she always said that lol. We started cuddling again, running our lips all over eachother neck and i was running my fingers down her sides and back which she loved as it gave her goosebumps. She then lay on my chest and was gently rubbing my chest hair, she said "Tony i'm so happy, i'e literally never felt like this before". After that she'd come over to my house to see her mate who was seeing my cousin dave. And while i was in my room, every now and then she say she had to go to the toilet, and what she did is shed knock on my door and come in, and she left me little cards under my pillow that had little cartons character and a quote or a saying like "You make me smile" and the next one would be a picture of 2 people cuddling eachother with love hearts coming out of the top of them and it would say "You and me". It was SO cute. we were happy for a while, more than happy.. completely in love. Then eventually she started changing a bit. Saying she's moving to the town i love in from the place 40 mins away, and said help me pick a house. We picked one and she asked would i come to vire it with her. But she asked me to stay in the car as she said it'd look odd for her to rent a room while the land lord is there and they wouldn't give her the room if she had her boyfriend with her asi it'd look like a couple moving in. That was the first kind of alarm bell. I stayed there a few times. But she kept saying not tonight, i'll see you during the week when i call over to see Annette. We didn't organize any dates. WHich upset me. One night i was so upset thinking i was losing her i called her and said can i come and stay with you. I basically had to bend her arm but she then agreed, When i was there she made food for herself and said "we have to go to bed early" we went to bed and cuddled but there was no sex. Then a while after i was helping my cousin clear a **** load of rocks in his garden as he could plant anything with them there. She came in and was acting distant. I was asking her what her plan was and she said "I'm thinking of moving to Dublin". 110km away I was offered a job up there. I said "I could get a job there too and move with you". she didn't really like that idea. Whn she went inside my cousin said "There's defintely something wrong there Tony, like seriously. Then she said "Derren asked ifi could meet him, he said he's really feeling down in the dumps with his depression and i'd feel bad if i couldn't help him. I wasn't jeaoous so i said sure. When she came back i asked what they were talking about and she said nothing, just catching up. But really i think they were talking about getting back together when she moved to dublin. Eventually she said "I need time, i still miss him and i feel terrible for betraying him and he's gone really bad since he's not seing me. Im sorry but i have to go and see him, i think this is over, I love you so much and it huts me but i need to sort my head out. i said sure. I was very upset and took it like a man. We hugged and then she left. I though i'd just lost the love of my life. I went out that day, like a tuesday wit my best friend mark, immeditaly we met these 4 lovely looking English girls who just randomly started talking to us asking where good places to were, 3 of them were quite beautiful. we were being funny and they were laughing their asses off. We met them 3 times over the next 3 days to hang out, one of the girls said "She's gone to the toilet, Adrienne is really into you". And a girl had already started holding Marks hand etc, we were getting on great. I started talking to Adrienne and asked "So you like me then hmmm, very interesting, and she started laughing and said "Interesting indeed. So we stood there drinking and talking, we hadn;t done anything yet but it was builing up, i really like her and she liked me. Then i got a text message from Gemma saying i need to talk to you Tony. I'm only way back up from wexford. can i meet you? I said yes of course, i told her we were in this bar with 4 english girls. (I was figuring im single now, she's gone back to her boyfriend and she's probably telling me "look im sorry and i don't really want to bu it's over". She came in, and was a bit intimidated by the girls. She asked could we talk alone and she said do you like that girl?" i said no she's just a friend and we're having a laugh. Then she said "I spoke to Derren, tried my best to like him again and see if there was still a connection there. But immeditatly i realized the reason i left him in the first place. Im so sorry and she started crying and asked are we ok, i said of course we are, i dind't stop loving you overnight, i just missed you and was really sad and needed some company. She said will you take me back? i ****ed up. I said of course i will you're the love of my life and we hugged. she said "Well lets get back to the guys, they'll think we're being rude. I intoduced Gemma to everyone as my girlfriend and Adrienne said you're a lucky girl, she said "i know right? we actually spent the next 7 hours until it got dark drinking together and chatting and having a great time. Eventually people were drunk and talking to other people and i was alone with gemma and adrienne. Adrienne said "Do you know any nice guys nicer than you lol? she said there's no good looking guys in here. I said "I'll help you find one". So me and gemma were scanning the place. We eventually left and went back to my place (just me and gem) we were in my room on the bed talking, and she is it ok if we don't have sex for a couple of days? i just want it to be about you and me an chat about it and clear things up. I said of course, but were were hugging and crying saying we missed eachother so much, then started kissing while there were still tears there, i took her clothed and panties off and lay her on her back, and she wrapped around me. pushing me into, i came inside her again and she said "awww ****, i could help it". We were happy then. Anyway i mentioned i cheated. When Gemma was basically distant. Not coming with the guy she's supposed to love to get his first car 100 miles away. She woldn't drive me, she said she was busy. That was a bit alarm, so my cousin drove me up and pointed it out straight away "Somethings very wrong here" (This is all before she told me she was talking to Derren and thinking of moving up to him). We weren't having sex all that often. So i was feeling (correctly) like i was second place, like i was losing her because i was. So i went out with my friend mark white alot to try to take my mind off it. Again we bumped into 2 other Irish girls, one of them was caled Anne and she was immediately besotted by me. She's was lovely, slim, amazing bum, nice breasts, lovely face, long blond hair. Game me all of her attention, she kept asking me to dance with her while we were dinking, she wanted to be close to me. Gemma rang me and asked where i was and what i was doing. i said "I'm in the bar with mark and 2 girls we met", she was pissed, and she drove into town, came into the pub and said whats going on? i said nothing she said come on lets go. we went home, and got into bed. about 2 hours later i got a text from Anne asking where i was, do you want to come over". the phone beeped loud and she heard it. She sat up and said "Who's that at this hour", i said "No one i started laughing (i don't know why), she got in a huff and started crying and said you're cheating on me arent you, show the message. If you don't show me the message we're done. I didn't show her the message. a couple of days later we were invited to Annes house (me and mark) while gemma was away in dublin. When mark went to the bathroom Anne said, can i come over for a second i said sure. She came over and leaned over and genrly stated kissing me. I was kinda shocked and got that tingle. Mark said "Im going home, lets go tony". i said "I'm staying" he said no you're not come on, what if gemma find outs" i said "She's in dublin sorting preperatons for leaving me ( i was basically doing damage control, protecting myself). eventually he left, me and anne went into her bedroom and she told me she loved me, she made me spoon her while we were talking, she could feel i was hard behing her (both naked) and she kept moving her but4 back sensually and lifting it up, my penis was rubbing in between her butt cheeks, eventally she lifted it high enough were it penetrated her, we both got shiver and she made a moan and gently start moving her hips side to side and slowly pusning me inside her until i was all the way in, then she turned her head back towards me and used her arm to push my head into her so we could slowly wet sloppy kissing eachother while she was gently grinding her vagina onto my penis and i was slowly thrusting as deep as i could inside her. Evenually i came HARD inside her and imeditaly felt guilty (always happens after sex, your mood changes) and i said i have to go home. Thats how i cheated on her. Shortly after she said she was moving to dublin and it was over, then that led in the first story above about us going out alot together (me and mark) and meeting those lvely english girls and Gemma realizing she'd made a big mistake. This woman was the love of my life. we ended on bad terms, because my friend mark was actually just after moving in next door to Gemma where i used to live with her (i'd moved out after we broke up). Gemma and i were still talking at this stage and she said i love you so much but i can't be with you, you have issues". She called me crying sometimes asking if i'd met anyone new, the thought of you being with some other girl actually makes me sick to my stomach. Have you? and i said "Of course not, i can't get over you that easily" when really i had slept with 3 girls at this stage. SHe kept calling me and coming to see me. I shaved my head and trimmed my beard and bought some lovely new clothes. And she said "you look SO ****ing good like this. Is this the new you? and i said "I guess, and it kinda upset her. She kept texting me and me her, and she kept crying saying i miss you so much, why did you have to **** up, WHy WHY WHY tony. It's not fair. Eventually i found out my friend mark had been calling into gemma next door for chats, they became friend, and i found out that he was crazy about gemma, even when i was with her. One night, she asked "Mark, has Tony ever cheated on me when we were going out. And rather than being a good friend to me he answered "Yesm with that girl Anne when you were on the break", This destroyed her. She couldn't breath and was getting dizzy, she then started texting me calling me a dog and cheating cunt and saying i hate you. From that day she never really spoke to me again. We owed a bill because i left the house of 120, and i text her saying can you help me pay this bill as we made that together. she said "it's in your name, it's not my problem". being very nasty. and thats the end of the story. She got with this other guy like 2 weeks after that, and she married him a year later. Isent her a couple of facebook messages saying i missed her and can't we just be civil and talk? she never replied. I still have dreams about her, not sex or anything, just dreams that we meet, and we start talking to eachother and just forgive eachother. I have them like once every 3 months. But i hate it as i wake up very depressed. She was literally the most beautiful, interesting, fun and charming girl i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I don't think i'll ever find a replacement for her that i'll have feeling like that for again. Any advice on this. this happened like 3 years ago, she still doesn't respond to my messages just asking if we can talk and not ignore eachother if we ever see eachother. Some people say that if your person breaks up with you, and they completely ignore you and hate you. (One night she came into a bar i was in with my friend, she had to walk passed me, she basically pushed her new boyfriend into me and said "*******". Some people say that if they act like that it's because they still have some sort of feelings and you really really hurt them and thats why they can't forgive you. As if she didn't have feelings then she would just not do anything if she saw me, she'd say hey how are you? im good thanks see you later. But she's not. SHe'd acting bad towards me. wanting her boyfriend to beat me up. is that an indicator that she really did love me when we were together and i ruined it and it hurt her VERY badly?
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