Girlwithquestions Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Disclaimer: please spare the comments about finding someone locally. It's different in my culture. Anyway, met a guy at a party 1 year back, we live in different states. We are both in our 30s. we texted sporadically. Couple months ago, we start texting regularly. He decides to come visit so we met up a few weekends back. And it was fun etc, and I could tell on the first night he wanted to kiss me but idk I just don't wanna kiss on date 1(even though this isn't date 1 because we've talked so much) lately bc of players so I kinda dodged it. He was very flirty and touchy all night. So anyway the next morning when I pick him up from his hotel, he's like oh I still have to pack some stuff why don't u park and come up I'll be a min. So I was hesitant but he practically just walked me to his room and as he's packing, he just kinda grabs me and kisses me. And I kiss him back(no tongue) but it was a long kiss. Then, he sits down on the bed and i didn't wanna go further bc i don't know him and I didn't want to sleep with him. So I tell him let's go eat etc, he agrees and we hang out the rest of the day, explore the city and talk etc but he kissed me a lot throughout the day, lots of making out. He never pushed me for more though. And I really like him and spending time with him. So he leaves and we've been texting regularly and we said we missed each other and now he's planning another trip to see me in a bit. He does everything so right and says all he right things and I feel so smitten and comfortable with him, but that's what worries me. It feels too right and I'm scared I'm getting played and maybe he just wants physical? We've never really talked on the phone, just texted regularly but I'm starting to think that's how communication goes in this generation. Does it sound like he just wants a physical relationship? Is there any way I can find out? I mean personally I want to wait until marriage so likely I won't sleep with him, but I want to make sure he's not playing me. I've been burned so much in the past by players, so my guard is way up. Were his actions player like? By kissing me a lot and inviting me back to his room? Or is that just part of attraction? And is that just a guy being a guy and attracted to you? He wasn't pushy and when I said let's go he got up, but he did initiate kissing me a lot throughout the day.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Sounds like he's looking for something physical TBH. The "come up to my room" move was so he could put a move on you and get sex. Just my .02 1
Author Girlwithquestions Posted January 25, 2017 Author Posted January 25, 2017 Maybe. But why spend the money to come all the way down to see me for just sex? Couldn't he just get that locally and cheaper?
angel.eyes Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 If as you claim, you're going to wait until you're married, you don't have to worry about whether he might be playing you or if he might be flying out for just sex, do you? You're waiting until you've both declared your love publicly in some wedding ceremony and there's a ring of precious metal on the appropriate finger. Right? Just sit tight and see whether he sticks around a couple of years until the "I do's." Or are you obsessed with whether he might be playing you because that's just some line you toss out disingenuously until the guy says the right things to get you excited? What do you mean by being burned by so many players in the past? How are players burning you if you're waiting for marriage? For the record, this guy seems primarily interested in physical action, not a relationship. Between the non-stop grabby hands even when you've backed off, the lack of communication other than texting, and the invite to his hotel room, I would hazard that your expectation of where this will lead and his are diametrically opposed. Add to that it's long-distance. He doesn't really have to deal with your anger and hurt in person should he be in "hit and quit" mode. He just has to delete your texts, or block you. 1
Author Girlwithquestions Posted January 26, 2017 Author Posted January 26, 2017 Well the reason I ask is because I'm kinda casually talking to another guy who really likes me and I sorta like him but not as much as I like this other guy I posted about. So I guess, I want to know sooner than later if this guy is serious or not, so I can end it. I know that sounds awful but it's the truth. If he's just in it for the physical, that's a lot of money being spent on me, but maybe money doesn't matter to him. Ugh, I was so smitten before and now I feel so miserable because I'm worried you guys are right. When it's "too perfect" it's never real. ugh.
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