How to move on

[GA706]

So we broke up about a month ago it was sort of mutual though I would have put in more work. Maybe I was in love I don't know but I still have feelings and think about them all the time after a year and about 8 months. She had 2 kids who were great extremely,bad and undisciplined but we had a huge bond where the youngest now 5 would call me dad and even told,his dad once he wishd I was his dad. It was great at first like usual but we all just clicked so fast and easy I thought it was the one. I have no clue why I was so serious we had nothing in common really almost opposites she came from money and parents still paid for her she was spoiled selfish rude to people I come from a broken home no money bad past with with drugs no help at all but I turned around and am a different person nice to a fault very empathetic but even with the differences we still clicked and she would say she wanted to marry and was never happier then a few days later say she didn't know it was very odd relationship. Anyways it's over and I still think about them all the time and I don't know why since the relationship wasn't all that great maybe I was in love with the idea of a family since Ive never really had one? I don't know really

[Ronni_W]

Hugs, GA706 - and welcome to LoveShack

After only a month, it is completely normal and understandable that you are grieving the loss, especially of your role and status as 'Dad' to a 5-year old (and another between, possibly, 6 and 10 years of age).

 

One perspective - although, of course, not the only one - is to take your experience and build upon it for your happiness in the future. 'How to move on' means that you consciously, willingly, determinedly redirect your focus to the future instead of keeping it in the past.

It does take and need all kinds of deepest desire and dogged determination - so, lots of work and effort, absolutely and for sure. There's just no way around that.

 

This particular relationship (between the two adults) doesn't really sound like it was good and healthy for you. But, it did help you learn that being "nice to a fault" is...well... still a fault - a mistake that results in negative consequences, sometimes very serious, and that does impact not only you. On the other hand, learning how to discern when and exactly how to "be nice" could be the greatest lesson that you can learn out of this experience.

 

Which, of course, you get to take with you into the positive and healthy relationship and family that you are already envisioning is absolutely and for sure part of your bright and happy future . Yes?

 

Love and hugs,

Ronni

[behappyallisOK]

keep your head up all will be ok