766rgl Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 (edited) Hello all. Ok I've got a question that has been bugging me for awhile now. I've been in a serious relationship with a woman for 6 months now. We get along great, the sex is great, spend lots of time together but only one problem.....she has yet to say I love you without taking it back. Yes she has said it on 3 occasions but took it back and said it slipped out??? I've made the mistake of saying it first Now I feel like a shmuck. We are both in our early 40's and have been previously married to another with children. She's been divorced for 4 1/2 yrs. I'm thinking of just moving on but everything else in the relationship is going to good for me to just walk away. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Edited January 25, 2017 by 766rgl Left something out
Got it Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 How do you take back saying I love you???? Why not address it with her directly? Ask her if she loves you, tell her how you feel, etc? I am shocked if the relationship is good in so many areas you are willing to throw in the towel over this!?! Come on, you guys are adults, lets show a little maturity, common sense, and communication skills and just have the conversation.
carhill Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 IMO, say it when you feel it. Sounds like the lady in question has some attachment issues. I've got one MW who only slips it out in any volume when plowed. I know the situation there so don't take it seriously. Up to you how to process that stuff. Six months is a long time. Lives have changed forever in six months.
BikerAccnt Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Hello all. Ok I've got a question that has been bugging me for awhile now. I've been in a serious relationship with a woman for 6 months now. We get along great, the sex is great, spend lots of time together but only one problem.....she has yet to say I love you without taking it back. Yes she has said it on 3 occasions but took it back and said it slipped out??? I've made the mistake of saying it first Now I feel like a shmuck. We are both in our early 40's and have been previously married to another with children. She's been divorced for 4 1/2 yrs. I'm thinking of just moving on but everything else in the relationship is going to good for me to just walk away. Any advice is greatly appreciated! You say it when you feel it, and it doesn't matter if they say it in return. Well, I mean it does, but just because they don't say it you shouldn't feel like a schmuck. If you've expressed what you've truly felt, there is nothing at all wrong with that. Nothing. If she doesn't feel the same, there's not much to do about that either. Give it a bit more time, and if it's her loving you that you need..you know what you need to do. Consider that it may be hard for her to say, that's why she keeps taking it back. It's only been 6 months, she may think it's too soon. You've both been married before, so, don't rush it. Give it some time and see where it goes, then decide.
dichotomy Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 (edited) The words have incredible significance to me. Last time i started to feel it - i held it back for 3 months because it meant so much to me - complete trust and faith in them, commitment/exclusivity, and that we have an extremely rare bond. At the time my GF was saying it early and regularly. Turns out it did not mean much more "than a feeling" to her. I have also had lovers blurt it out within 3 weeks - while having sex for the first time. I guess my point is some people put very different significance on it then others. P.S. - if you have ever had a child - you really will know love - unconditional love. Edited January 26, 2017 by dichotomy 2
preraph Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 She doesn't love you. It's been long enough that if she were going to, she would by now. If love is what you want, you probably should just leave and find someone else. It will probably happen eventually that she leaves you because it's a big of a strain staying with someone you know is in deeper than you are. I'm sorry this is the case. But why stay with someone if all they are doing is settling for you? You deserve a two-way relationship. 1
Larryville Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I've been in a serious relationship with a woman for 6 months now. We get along great, the sex is great, spend lots of time together but only one problem.....she has yet to say I love you without taking it back. Yes she has said it on 3 occasions but took it back and said it slipped out??? I've made the mistake of saying it first Now I feel like a shmuck. We are both in our early 40's and have been previously married to another with children. She's been divorced for 4 1/2 yrs. I'm thinking of just moving on but everything else in the relationship is going to good for me What about her? If love is what you want, (OR NEED) you probably should just leave and find someone else. why stay with someone if all they are doing is settling for you? Turns out it did not mean much more "than a feeling" to her. First the thing is are you BOTH on the same page in terms of what “a serious relationship” means? You say you are in a serious relationship and the first two thing you list are superficial traits (sex and hanging out) to me does not imply “seriousness.” If her not saying “I love you” hurts your ego, you need to bail now. If you enjoy her company chill and let things develop and improve your communication with each other to make sure you are on the same page. True love grows and is cultivated. My gut says yo are not there yet. 1
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