Tombaland Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 First time posting so here goes. I just broke up with my girlfriend in december, we was together for 8months, I know that isn't that long of a time but i loved her more than anything in the world and would of done anything of her. Anyway we broke up in December and it crushed me, even though we was broken up we spoke every day by text or FaceTime, while talking she said she was going on dates with this other guy who used to poke her all the time on Facebook when we was together. I kept begging for another chance to get back together but she said she wanted to be with this other guy instead, she was sleeping with him as well. She blocked me on everything but my number so we could still talk, she would message me things like you at work today cause we work at the same place, then I got a message from her saying I miss you and could we meet, she came round mine two days later and we had sex, and it was like old times we both said i love and miss you and she apologised for being a bitch. She even said her new boyfriend had nothing that I didn't and that she had more fun and preferred being with me. Two days after I'm blocked and told that I need to move on because there isn't gonna be an us anymore, turns out she found out the day before she was pregnant with the other guys child, it crushed me I honestly felt my heart sink and break that was supposed to be me that had a family with her not this new guy. I honestly thought that there might still be a chance for us. When she told me she was pregnant I asked did she even like the guy she was with and she said "sometimes" I also asked did she still love me and she said yes and that she wished it was my kid. I dunno what to do I'm broken and can't think about anything else other than her, I love her that much i would still be with her even if she had a child with this other guy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks
Bromeo Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Tom (Love the handle), When I was 20, this same thing happened to me. I was very in love with a little Mormon girl, whose dad hated me because I was Irish Catholic (those damn Catholics). Long story short, he offered to pay her way through BYU, and establish her in a business if she left me, and consent to an arranged marriage to this mope in Utah. She did. I had no idea she was leaving. She called me from Utah and we talked for months. Then, she distanced herself and I got an email that she was expecting her first baby. My brother, I felt like I was going to die. Like someone had ripped my guts out. It sucked. Every. Single. *****ing. Day. Now, at 38, I've lived my life. I have three degrees, and have an amazing career. I've dated many beautiful women, and have a wonderful, brilliant daughter. Having said that, I currently have an ex whose played games with me for months, but that's another thread entirely. Point is, right now its hurts, damn does it hurt. But look at her being pregnant as evidence of closure. There is no way in the seven hells I would raise another man's baby, love or not. That is for her to figure out. The drama with that would be unreal. Chins up, knuckles down, brother. It will get better. Dave P.s. - the little Mormon girl contacted me 10 years later, and offered to leave her 5 kids and run away with me. We met up, and were kissing within 10 minutes, having not see each other in a decade. The feelings get buried, but never die. Trust in that. 2
Orlan Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Even if you decide to stay with her and raise that child with her, the other guy is still going to be in her life and the babies life. You won't be the father, you will be caring for the child and love the child like a parent, have all the difficulties of being a parent, but you won't have a single say in the child's life. You will have to deal with your GF seeing the other guy that she was sleeping with and always wonder if she is going to go back to him. All break ups hurt, that doesn't mean you should go back to the situation.
AllyStrass Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 I am so sorry you are walking through this difficult time! That is a hard situation, losing someone you loved, then thinking that maybe you had a chance to get her back only to lose her again. Definitely a roller coaster of emotions. It can be challenging to navigate something that is really emotional for both of you. I know this is the harder decision to make, but have you been able to give yourself some space to heal ? It could make all the difference in being able to move on for yourself and helping to navigate the next steps of where to go from here. Again, I know it's the hard decision and not the popular one, but it could make all the difference in personal growth and healing. Your ex may need that to, as she has difficult choices to make. Remember, though, you can only control what you do and your feelings. She is going to have to do the same for herself as she figures things out. Do you have other supports to turn to - friends/family? It may help you to talk to ppl who know you and have walked life with you. I am sorry again! Never easy to lose someone, but especially in challenging circumstances such as this!
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