NewfieEd Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Hi, I met a girl in August and started chatting with her, she told me then she wasn't looking for anything serious just hanging out and having fun. She said she figured I would just be another guy it would be fun to have a dance or two with but she felt an immediate attraction too. As time passed we started hanging out more and she started spending nights over, relations got sexual. I always had that feeling she was being somewhat hesitant. Tonight she wrote saying she knows my past is who I am I just want to get out and have fun with lots of girls, so I told her how I felt, that I really enjoy her company and would never hurt her. She then Said she got to get it off her chest that she is not seriously looking for a relationship, "she needs to be her, and look out for herself for a while" she said if she don't go through this stage she don't see herself settling down. She said she really enjoys my company, thinks I'm funny and so much fun. Just she needs time. She then began joking around like nothing ever happened. I guess my question is what do I do here? Should I distance myself? Should I keep in contact? Should I be a friend? Should I put myself back on the market?kinda lost right now, I thought we were beginning something then she pulled back hard.
Popsicle Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 I'll translate for you: "I want to continue our FWB arrangement with you, but I don't want you to see other girls, but I want to see other guys." If you want to see if this is true, just keep acting like you have been and see if she still sees you. I bet she will but she won't back away from her desire to see other men. 2
dumbass2 Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Should I distance myself? YES Should I keep in contact? NO Should I be a friend? No Should I put myself back on the market? YES Go find a girl that wants to be in a relationship with you. Someone that wants what you want. This one wants her cake and eat it. She clearly feels that you are not the perfect guy for her. 1
Jj66 Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Should I distance myself? YES Should I keep in contact? NO Should I be a friend? No Should I put myself back on the market? YES Go find a girl that wants to be in a relationship with you. Someone that wants what you want. This one wants her cake and eat it. She clearly feels that you are not the perfect guy for her. IFF he is looking for a relationship. If he just wants a causal **** buddy, then steady as she goes. Except if she's going to play, he should play too. What's fair for the goose is most certainly fair for the gander in this case. 3
Author NewfieEd Posted January 25, 2017 Author Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah guys she wrote me this morning "I'm not feeling well today, I should take tomorrow off and come cuddle with you, like you said earlier this week". I told her that on Monday. I just did no contact and didn't write back. I feel now she's trying to make me her option when it's convenient like you said. Another thing she did that was a huge red flag was when she would stay over she would get up at 2-3 am and say "I have to go home, mom and dad will be worried" she's late 20's so really now we know we don't act like that if interested.
dumbass2 Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Feelings are tough to control. Like the other poster said, if you feel that you want a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) then she does not appear to be the one and she will have to show you a lot if that is the rout she wants to go. So far she's said no to a relationship. If you want something casual, then you don't care so much about that person and don't get emotionally involved. You're not there for them in a time of need. You don't make sacrifices for them. If cuddling is something you feel is reserved for an emotional relationship, then you don't do it in a casual hook up imo. Feelings will grow on your end. There are certain actions that I reserve for someone I am getting into a relationship with.
Author NewfieEd Posted January 25, 2017 Author Posted January 25, 2017 Sorry for dragging this on. She wrote a few times today and I didn't respond. She said "why are you acting differently? Or are you just busy?" Then after no response she said "can be meet up and talk? If not that's cool" so I meet up and chat or not even respond to the message?
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