IllFatedLover Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Alright a little backstory: I am 19 years old and have never had a girlfriend. Not that I havn't wanted one a few times in my life, it is just that fate has not delt me in on the dating fun. Recently I have started developing some strong feelings toward one of my coworkers. We both work at a retail store and in different departments although i do talk to her sometimes when it is not busy and such forth. We also talk over AIM alot and that seems to be our main form of communication. Seeing as how I do not have the "experience" in this area I do not know how to go about letting her know that I have feelings for her...my heart wants to just shout it out but I know that would just turn everything sour. Any suggestions on how I should go about trying to woo this girl? Thanks, -Illfatedlover
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Be Sincere Be Confident AND Ask her out Good Luck don't forget to look good .. You will have more confidence if you look dynamo.. Go get her .. Just be yourself
shiro kuma Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Dude, seriously ask for her phone #, the whole AIM thing has no connection (mentally/emotionally). Unless, you already have it? If you don't, then be straight forward about it and to make it a little easier on yourself do it as you are about to leave "I'm gonna take off pretty soon so why don't you write down your number for me." If she is interested enough she'll give it to you.
Author IllFatedLover Posted July 21, 2005 Author Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by shiro kuma Dude, seriously ask for her phone #, the whole AIM thing has no connection (mentally/emotionally). Unless, you already have it? If you don't, then be straight forward about it and to make it a little easier on yourself do it as you are about to leave "I'm gonna take off pretty soon so why don't you write down your number for me." If she is interested enough she'll give it to you. yes i already have it, but she told me she ran out of minutes and can't use it again till next month. i believe her because she is on that thing all the time. but alright...how would i go about asking her out? i am a complete newbie.
shiro kuma Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 The Call: 1. Wait four to five days before making the first call. It gives you time to figure some stuff out like where to go and what to do. Also you it sets you apart from those desperate AFCs who call the day after they get a number, nobody likes a boot-licker so why act like one by calling her and acting like an attention starved puppy? 2. Be confident. No girl likes to hear "Um gee <her name,> I was thinking, uh, since you gave me this number and all. That well we might, um, go out on, um...a date(said in a meek tone that gives the girl the impression your already curling up in a fetal position to take the blow of rejection which you believe you'll get.) Look you already got her number right? Well son, you just won half the battle right there. The other half is dating and sex, and thats the fun part. So you have every right to be confident, knowing that your training as a DJ has paid off. What a girl likes to hear will sound something like this: (Your asking her if she wants to go out with you in a confident tone, one which conveys your power and pride.) 3. Get to the point. No need to build up a rapport, she already knows why your calling. Save all that stuff you would say to build up to asking the question for the date. That way you have something to talk about on your date. 4. Know what you want to do. You call up not knowing what you want to do, and she'll not know why she bothered to give you her number in the first place. Be able to give her the time and place of where the date it is. If you sound like you know what your doing, she'll respect that. Be sure its geared towards something fun, that way you'll have fun no matter what. 5. Keep it short. Whats the point of talking to her after you've got your date all set up? Seriously you got what you want, why dick around on the phone longer than you have to? The longer you yap the faster her legs will snap shut on you. Keep the conversation no longer than 15 minutes and thats only if she is squaking her head off. If its a normal conversation it should take about 8 minutes factoring in the questions she'll ask about the date or the obligatory "Oh, we're going to have some much fun." Speeches she is legally obligated to throw out. Keep these things in mind and you won't go wrong. But, before you can make the call, you have to know what you want to do. Possible Activites: A good date is like valuable real estate. Its all about location, location, location. No girl wants to sit around doing nothing, and unless she's a cool gal she may not be enthralled with the idea of just having a quiet dinner at her's or your place. Unlike the movies, doing that quiet dinner in thing is not as entertaining for a woman as you might think. Hence why "going out on a date" means "going out," your changing the scenery because it keeps things interesting. Also she wants to see how you handle yourself in the real world, and you can't do that sitting in either one of your homes. So I will suggest some places to take your date. 1. The Coffee House: Most people drink coffee, the date can be quick and you can chat briefly. This is good for laying out the common ground between you, and will help you set up future dates that tailor to both your interests. You find out she likes the movies, you like th movies, here's a crazy idea go to the movies for your next date. Also the coffee house date can be quick so you can cut out if things take a dive. 2. Dinner: What woman doesn't like a delicious meal and stimulating conversation? By stimulating I mean you her all about her little life while you throw in some of your stories.(Don't give away to much.) If your not a strong conversationalist you maybe out of your depth here. 3. Movies: You spend time together, and yet your engaged by another activity, when your done you can talk about how interesting the movie is going to be. And when its over you can talk about it further. The beauty behind the movie date is that it gives you a common subject to talk about on your way to and from the movie. 4. Mini golf, and bowling, pool hall: Action dates, excellent chance your kino as you rub up against her body as you instruct her how to play better.(And play the right way for that matter.) 5. Bars and Clubs: I'd steer away from this one as bars and clubs may be a bit to noisy to have a "meaningful" conversation in. But the alcohol and the atmosphere of the establishment will deflate some of your anxiety. Also dancing, needless to say, give you great oppurtunity for kino and shows her how good in bed you can be.(Women believe that you dance like you make love.) Whether you choose an "action date" or the cliche "dinner and a movie" it doesn't matter to much, because she is on the date to see and know you. In the end your going to have to show her that in any situation your impressive. Whatever you choose to do, pick something you'll have fun at, if she doesn't enjoy herself then there might be something wrong with her attitude.(But honestly if you set your date up as going to a comic book convention expect to return to the fortess of solitude, alone again Poindexter.) Of course going out in public means you have to have clothes and looked well groomed, otherwise people will wonder what desert island you were stranded on.
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