Mkn1010 Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 OP, you sound like a nice guy and I can tell you really care about this girl. I just wanted to say that I've been through something similar, a fleeting romance that started intensely and the guy pulled away completely just over a month in. In my situation, I knew that he hadn't met anyone in a serious capacity since the last girl who severely broke his heart. So I truly believe that he just emotionally shut down when he realised he was falling for me. I ended up telling him that I was falling him and it completely scared him off. He ghosted until I asked him to explain what happened and he really had no idea (lack of self awareness) and could only say how confused he was. The thing is, he came back later on and kept coming back (in fact he recently contacted me again). However, sadly for me, the way he shut down meant that I pulled away entirely and with a bit of space saw the situation clearly - he was/is not ready and DOES NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY to be in a relationship despite good intentions/feelings. It's a tragedy really. And I bet you're thinking that it'll be great if she just comes back around, but if you've personally had enough time to be objective you'll see that this has no legs. She just can't be in it to win it so to speak. Trust that in a bit of time, you will see this whole situation very very differently! 1
mrs rubble Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 She is 25 years old. She told me in the same time range-in reference to the afraid of getting hurt comments: Original response: "I'm scared of getting hurt again. I think about how long I was with my ex, and how bad he hurt me, and I don't want to do that all over again. I know that's a horrible excuse. I do want to see you again, I just always run when I feel like I could get hurt." I eventually asked: "Are you telling me goodbye?" She replied: "No, I'm not. I can't say goodbye to you." I provided her with some assurance that I would not hurt her.. She responded: " I really like you. And I know I need to stop being scared and trust you, I think I just need to make sure we're taking things slow." Conversation continued...she had been feeling very ill... She says: "Once I'm alive again I'd like to see you". This is why I am so confused. I feel like she is obviously scared, and needing to slow things down-which is fine, I can respect that. But why would she say things like that to me if she didn't mean them? If she wanted me gone wouldn't she just straight up ignore me? Normally I would never care as I never really ever cared about girls that I had briefly dated. This one is different. I care. She's special to me. If going no contact is my last chance at picking things back up than that's what I have to do. She's been ill, send her some 'get well' flowers and I bet you'll have a date for the weekend.
anduina Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 There's something wrong with this girl. She introduced you to her best friend, mother, said ILY all in a few weeks and then went cold. Be careful. She sounds like someone with difficulties regulating her emotions since she elevated you, then devalued you by comparing you with her ex. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)
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