randomtx88 Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 My ex broke up with me in early November, after dating for 6 months. Didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then around December we hung out a few times, but she still didn't want to try the relationship again. Last time I saw her (mid-December), she was very aggressive, pointing out every mistake I did in our relationship (like asking her to stop talking to her ex, or asking her to acknowledge our relationship to people that would hit on her). That night she basically "kicked me out" of her apartment, repeating over and over again that she has no feelings for me anymore. After that, I initiated No Contact. I tried to distract myself with other girls, and slowly started being happy again. I recently started talking to a girl that I actually like a lot. But nothing serious yet. Last Saturday night she texted me out of nowhere at 3AM. She told me she misses me and asked if she could come see me. I said yes. She came over. We made small talk. She asked if I'm seeing anyone, and I said no. After that, one thing led to another and I started kissing her. She didn't want to get physical with me because she didn't want me to think that she came over just for that. We ended up having sex (even though she didn't really want that). She spent the night at my place. We had sex again in the morning, and then slept till the afternoon. After that, we had lunch together and then we said bye. The whole time I was with her, I didn't say anything about our breakup. I kept making jokes, laughing, and trying to act like I didn't care about the past anymore. Before she left I said "Hey, if you ever change your mind..." And she said "I know", and then left. Haven't heard anything from her since then. I can't stop thinking if she came over just because she was lonely (or drunk, even though she didn't look like it) or because she actually misses me. Should I text her? Or should I avoid all contact?
Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Let her text you. You were in the right about the break up. 1
darkmoon Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 let her text you, or leave it please go back to distracting yourself with other girls sounds like much more fun to me 1
nolookingback716 Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Haven't heard anything from her since then. I can't stop thinking if she came over just because she was lonely (or drunk, even though she didn't look like it) I would say that's probably exactly what was going on. She was feeling lonely, maybe kind of buzzed and wanted an ego boost in knowing that you still care. Once she got what she wanted she was done. Let this be a lesson. Do not contact her and if she contacts you again ignore it. 2
jamili Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Damn, confusing! I think you played this right (except for the "if you ever change your mind" thing... but that's not too bad. DONT contact her!!! I can almost guarantee that of you dont, you'll hear from her again. She has to see that you value yourself and arent needy. I would only communicate with her if she initiates it. I'm not sure if i agree with the poster above me, if you want her back. What i would do is not contact her ever, and let her keep contacting you, and coming over for sex.. but next time be less available. Ignore some of her texts, and when you respond to her wanting to come over, appear busy and try to have her come over on a different day or push it back a bit. I think if you continually did this, she would eventually come back to you. In the meantime, I'd keep seeing other girls just in case, and to keep your ego polished and confidence top-notch. 2
Sweetfish Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 My ex broke up with me in early November, after dating for 6 months. Didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then around December we hung out a few times, but she still didn't want to try the relationship again. Last time I saw her (mid-December), she was very aggressive, pointing out every mistake I did in our relationship (like asking her to stop talking to her ex, or asking her to acknowledge our relationship to people that would hit on her). That night she basically "kicked me out" of her apartment, repeating over and over again that she has no feelings for me anymore. After that, I initiated No Contact. I tried to distract myself with other girls, and slowly started being happy again. I recently started talking to a girl that I actually like a lot. But nothing serious yet. Last Saturday night she texted me out of nowhere at 3AM. She told me she misses me and asked if she could come see me. I said yes. She came over. We made small talk. She asked if I'm seeing anyone, and I said no. After that, one thing led to another and I started kissing her. She didn't want to get physical with me because she didn't want me to think that she came over just for that. We ended up having sex (even though she didn't really want that). She spent the night at my place. We had sex again in the morning, and then slept till the afternoon. After that, we had lunch together and then we said bye. The whole time I was with her, I didn't say anything about our breakup. I kept making jokes, laughing, and trying to act like I didn't care about the past anymore. Before she left I said "Hey, if you ever change your mind..." And she said "I know", and then left. Haven't heard anything from her since then. I can't stop thinking if she came over just because she was lonely (or drunk, even though she didn't look like it) or because she actually misses me. Should I text her? Or should I avoid all contact? The minute she told you... she didn't want you to think she came over for sex... The reason she came over was for sex. 1
Chi townD Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Leave it alone. She picked a day she was feeling low. You were available. You gave her an ego boost. You served your purpose and you're back too the curb. Heal and move on dude. 5
BC1980 Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 She was just feeling lonely for the moment. She had no intentions of anything other than companionship for a few hours. She knew you would give in, so she hit you up. Honestly, I've read so many stories on LS that are similar. Ex calls out of nowhere, starts talking, asks to come over, one thing lead to another and you're having sex. Disappears the next day and makes contact several months later for the same reason. It's an ego boost. Getting sex is an ego boost for a lot of people. Proving you can get sex is good for the old self-esteem. It's nothing more than that I can promise you. 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Last time I saw her (mid-December), she was very aggressive, pointing out every mistake I did in our relationship (like asking her to stop talking to her ex, or asking her to acknowledge our relationship to people that would hit on her). That night she basically "kicked me out" of her apartment, repeating over and over again that she has no feelings for me anymore. Hang on a second.. these were "your" mistakes? It just sounds like you were asserting some boundaries. From what you have said, her behavior sounds profoundly selfish, and it doesn't sound like anything has changed. I think you are being used. If you are smart, you will avoid all contact. If you don't, prepare yourself for more necessary mind games and drama.
DarrenB Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Should I text her? Or should I avoid all contact? What do you want, from all this?
mightycpa Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 Either way you do it, it will end up the same in the end. Maybe add her to the rotation occasionally, rather than angling to spend all your time with her.
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