princessjulieanne Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 I have been involved with a married man who treats me like gold. I do not now would I ever want him to leave his wife. She has some serious health issues and I wouldn't want him to leave her. My problem is that I know he is cheating on me. He's not a great liar, I do some work for him in his office and last week someone came on discussing the great sex they had. Suddenly he is calling less but still attentive and kind. Do I tell him I know he's seeing someone else also I want to start using condoms, we had both been tested but I don't know how to ask if he is using them. I know the rule if he cheats with you he'll cheat on you. I've been tempted to stray myself but dont think it will help. I'm really hurting and I don't want him to know. I did not snoop he left his msn on. Any suggestions would be so appreciated. Thanks, Julie
SoftDrink Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 don't stray. why waste your time? instead of putting up with this crap of allowing this man to cheat on his sick wife AND on you, let him go. just tell him you're no longer interested and give no furthur explanation.
shygurl Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 I suggest you seek professional therapy/counselling to help you understand why you're in this situation - screwing around with a man who's MARRIED - and why you'd even CONSIDER remaining with him when you know he's cheating on you (twice on his wife). Is your self esteem so low that you don't think you deserve better from a man? Are you desperate? Are you a sucker for punishment? It's okay with you to remain having sex (condoms aside) with someone who's plugging someone else? (and who knows how many others) You really want this kind of dog in your life - a man who breaks his vows to his ill wife by cheating on you and now you're aware of someone else. Why would a woman be so silly?
SoftDrink Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl Why would a woman be so silly? especially considering you don't want him to leave his wife now or ever.......what are you getting out of this relationship besides frustration and hurt?
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Well, you can let him know that you know - but I don't expect that it will change anything. Instead of making it a confrontation, just make it apparent that you already know, and let him know that you would be more comfortable with the two of you using condoms now that he has OOW. Suddenly he is calling less but still attentive and kind. That is being taken from you, and given to the OOW. She is a higher priority for him now. It is unfortunate that you are hurting so much, but at some point you will have to realize that you are not a victim in this situation: you are a volunteer - and stopping the pain is as simple as walking out of MM's life. Your situation with him is not going to change - so the choice is yours: adapt to this dismal and painful situation or leave it.
RecordProducer Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 You have a few options: 1. Let him know the truth, that you by accident saw his msn window (and you don't mind what you saw) so you'd like to use condoms; 2. That you started dating someone and you'd like to use condoms; 3. Start avoiding him until he gets the picture or simply tell him you're not in the mood to see him anymore or don't feel it's right or whatever. 4. Simply tell him you'd like to use condoms and the explanation is not necessary, you don't feel like telling him. Don't forget he's hiding things from you and cheating on you and his wife together. So you're allowed to demand or tell him whatever you want. You owe him nothing. You take an unserious man too seriously, Hun.
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