Klmpore Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Its almost been a year now. We tove other problems that also kind of come to play in this situation. It started when i quit my job. I just hated it. Ive been depressed since then though because i quit so suddenly. My bf and i live together with his sis. Ill back up and start by saying that she gave me bad vibes in the beginning because shes simply the type of person that just pisses me off. She basically just talks **** about people (somethung my bf mentioned before i moved in the with them) and she also puts herself out there... For instance inviting randome tinder dates over without meeting them first. Shed also just talk **** about my bf if she realized that i was upset with him... She would just kind of try to get me to talk **** about him... Then if he pissed her off of if i looked upset with him she would suggest that i choose her over him... After a while i just started to kind of back off. I didnt really want her to assume that we were friends just because i was with her brother. Since id quit my job i was worried about paying rent. So in the beginning of the month, i asked him if hed cover for me (because hes told me before that hed be able to) but i guess that he just didnt have enough money... So he apparently asked his sister. And she texted him back attacking me (basically calling me a low life). So then i completly threw in the towel with her. I ignore he all of the time. She doesnt really talk to me because when she has i just give her an attitude so that she wont talk to me anymore. My bf showed me the texts that she sent but he also was hiding all of the other texts above it. Which makes me paranoid. And when i talk about it with other people i dont want to completely **** talk my bf because hes not really a good one. They always suggest that hell chose her over me. And it pisses me off because i wouldnt be asking hime that. Basically, i want to tell him not to talk about me around her i just dont know how. I also wanted to bring up the fact that i know he was hiding something when he showed me the texts. Its driving me crazy and im seriously getting more and more impatient living with his sister so i feel like i wont care about how i handle the situation if i do. Someone please give me advice so i can put my head back on straight.
darkmoon Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) if you are not paying rent atmo, then tread carefully even if you loathe her, there is nothing anybody can do - or is doing - so hold back from discussing her Edited January 23, 2017 by darkmoon
Author Klmpore Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Another thing i meant to add... Hes never paid my rent and after talking with my mom about it shed rather do it than me asking him.
rester Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 ... Its driving me crazy and im seriously getting more and more impatient living with his sister so i feel like i wont care about how i handle the situation if i do. Someone please give me advice so i can put my head back on straight. I think your only options are to either learn to get along with the sister or get a plan together for you to move out to somewhere else. Start by having a conversation with your boyfriend and see how he feels about the situation. If he feels his sister is being unreasonable the two of you may be able to work something out. If he feels that you are the one being unreasonable, you will probably not be in the relationship much longer and will need to find a new place to live anyway.
LivingDeadGrl Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Regardless of if you hate your job, you can't just quit it when you have rent and bills to pay unless you have some sort of back up money to cover you. Relying on other people to pay your way is just going to cause problems between you, and as it sounds that is already happening. My advice? Get a job. Save some money. Your boyfriends sister might be hard to get along with but I don't blame her for being annoyed at being asked to pay your way. She might talk BS about everyone but that has nothing to do with you. If that's who she is so be it. You are living with her so I would do my best to get along, which includes paying your own way. If it continues, maybe have a convo with your boyfriend about getting your own place. Good luck! 4
Gaeta Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 You and your boyfriend move out and find a different room-mate. Your home is suppose to be a place where you should feel relaxed, it's a place to feel safe and a place to un-stress. It's not suppose to be a place to argue, feel judged or harbor any kind of other negativity. What is going on between you and your bf should remain between you and your bf. Your bf had no business telling his sister you were short on money especially that she doesn't like you. All he did was put oil on fire. In a relationship it's normal to help each other when short in cash, but it's no one else business.
Pill Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Why exactly did you quit? I'm confused, because you say you hated your job, okay. But you've been depressed since so it doesn't sound like you hated your job more than hating being unemployed. It seems like you put him and his sister in a bad situation so it's natural for her to question you.
kendahke Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Its almost been a year now. We tove other problems that also kind of come to play in this situation. It started when i quit my job. I just hated it. Ive been depressed since then though because i quit so suddenly. My bf and i live together with his sis. Who owns this house? Whose name is on the deed/lease agreement? Since id quit my job i was worried about paying rent. Pro tip: if you're going to quit a job, you need to have at least 8 months of reserve to pay your way or/until you have another job lined up. im seriously getting more and more impatient living with his sister so i feel like i wont care about how i handle the situation if i do. Someone please give me advice so i can put my head back on straight. I'm going to give you some stern, not-sugarcoated advice: Your boyfriend and you need to move out and get your own place. That way his sister nor anyone else can step to you and take hold of you. Right now, she can because you are squatting in her house. No one, unless you're their child or they're getting sex or money out of you, is going to let a grown, combative adult live in their house for free consuming electricity, cable, internet, gas, hot water, etc. That is Life 001. Ain't going to happen. You can't afford to indulge this melt down because you didn't like your job. It's time to knuckle down and get online and find a job. The sooner you're back working, the sooner you amass the $$ to get your own place.
mightycpa Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Its almost been a year now. We tove other problems that also kind of come to play in this situation. It started when i quit my job. I just hated it. Ive been depressed since then though because i quit so suddenly. My bf and i live together with his sis. Ill back up and start by saying that she gave me bad vibes in the beginning because shes simply the type of person that just pisses me off. She basically just talks **** about people (somethung my bf mentioned before i moved in the with them) and she also puts herself out there... For instance inviting randome tinder dates over without meeting them first. Shed also just talk **** about my bf if she realized that i was upset with him... She would just kind of try to get me to talk **** about him... Then if he pissed her off of if i looked upset with him she would suggest that i choose her over him... After a while i just started to kind of back off. I didnt really want her to assume that we were friends just because i was with her brother. Since id quit my job i was worried about paying rent. So in the beginning of the month, i asked him if hed cover for me (because hes told me before that hed be able to) but i guess that he just didnt have enough money... So he apparently asked his sister. And she texted him back attacking me (basically calling me a low life). So then i completly threw in the towel with her. I ignore he all of the time. She doesnt really talk to me because when she has i just give her an attitude so that she wont talk to me anymore. My bf showed me the texts that she sent but he also was hiding all of the other texts above it. Which makes me paranoid. And when i talk about it with other people i dont want to completely **** talk my bf because hes not really a good one. They always suggest that hell chose her over me. And it pisses me off because i wouldnt be asking hime that. Basically, i want to tell him not to talk about me around her i just dont know how. I also wanted to bring up the fact that i know he was hiding something when he showed me the texts. Its driving me crazy and im seriously getting more and more impatient living with his sister so i feel like i wont care about how i handle the situation if i do. Someone please give me advice so i can put my head back on straight.You need to work a lot harder at being the person he expects you to be. You stay in this miserable situation until you and your bf can make it better! No, I'm just kidding. Dump his butt and move out. Learn something from this and don't repeat the same mistakes in the future. What else can you do?
sandylee1 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 I second getting a place with your BF, but he did have something to hide from you didn't he. He clearly didn't shut his sister down and tell her not to talk about you to him. You quit your job and were Immediately unable to pay your rent. ... that wasn't sensible of you. Maybe you should move back home, till you're on your feet again.
sandylee1 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Forget to mention the sister ... she's his blood and the longer you're all living together, the worse things will get.
Author Klmpore Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Thanks for the advice. Im more depressed that i quit and ive honestly beat myself more for that. Mostly because i didnt really think things through at all. I dont like depending on anyone because i always end up in tight places. I have a new job and i got a new job before rent was due. So its not like i just forgot about my bills. I was being irresponsible, but multiple times before quitting, i talked to my bf about it so i felt more comfortable doing it. Also ive bailed him out plenty of times and there was also no reason he should have asked his sister. I asked him at the beginning of the month so id know if i had to ask my parents. Ive actually paid my part of the rent and utilities on time every month. Just to clear those things up. I just found out that shes moving out so im not as annoyed about it anymore. Ive also lived with my brother and his girlfriend at one time and didnt like his girlfriend so i know that none of what she said about me needed to be said. Ive bought groceries toiletries and cleaning crap. I clean and wash our clothes. So i honestly feel more victimized. Especially because i do understand that its his sister... And i also understand that i dont threaten her life at all. The most i do is ignore her... I have a brother... Its just not really like that. I dont have to be nice to her. And im not going to be mean to her but i dont like her 1
Author Klmpore Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Forget to mention the sister ... she's his blood and the longer you're all living together, the worse things will get. Hes more relieved that shes moving because when they fight she just says really ****ed up things. And shes said crappy things about him to me. Im sure its a phase but its not my responsibility, so ill pass.
Author Klmpore Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) Who owns this house? Whose name is on the deed/lease agreement? My bf and my name are on the lease not hers. Pro tip: if you're going to quit a job, you need to have at least 8 months of reserve to pay your way or/until you have another job lined up. This happened so long ago that i just have to be over it. Its also easy to get a job to pay rent when rent is only $200. I sold my laptop for some of the rent. And basically hauled ass to find a new job. I learned to at least put in 2 weeks and have a new job. Edited January 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote formatting ~6
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