soulforge Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Ok guys, which do you think is the toughest kind of break up to get over.. If you loved somebody, but there behaviour towards you was not good at all.. you are then forced to dump that person? Does the forced dumper still feel a certain amount of power in that situation? If you are a straight up dumpee, and someone just left you.. would you consider that a tougher break?? If you had to choose one, what would that choice be? Lol
kztar Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Being the dumpee is harder specially when you are left with very little explanation as of why. Most of the time you must find your own closure which comes with time and I mean lots of time maybe 6 moths plus if you were in a longterm relationship. you are left behind questioning EVERYTHING for months until one day you realize that you aren't that bad after all, that not EVERYTHING is wrong with you. You begin focusing on you and on your good qualities and what you could do better next time. This comes after a period of basically going crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with you and self reflection. The dumper processes things much faster. They do hurt and they might be hurting a lot, but they are not left with a million questions in their heads like the dumpee which makes a HUGE difference. The dumper hurts but most of the time they are dumping for the right reasons for them which is something that the dumpee will not understand, specially if they were blindsided. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 I suppose I could say that I was "forced" to dump a certain ex-boyfriend, becasue his mistreatment of me had become intolerable and I needed to get out to save my sanity. It wasn't that painful to leave, in the end. I had been mentally preparing for it for a while and was already fairly emotionally detached due to the way he treated me. I'd already done my grieving by the time I finally got the courage to leave.
Author soulforge Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 I have been a forced dumper in the past too.. and i found it very very had.. Was constantly second guessing my decision.. did i do the right thing.. did i over react.. then one day i just stopped thinking like that, and moved on
Lorenza Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 The toughest one for me was on mutual agreement. Because it seemed like there's still hope if we're both still love each other and circumstances could be overcome. When I got dumped, I just got mad and determined. When I dumped it was because I couldn't stand being involved with the person anynore.
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