Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 I had a first date with someone online last Thursday. We didn't talk much online just decided to meet up and see because we seem to have many common interests and work in the same field according to the profile. I think we really liked each other's style and are belong to the same type of group. He asked me out, and I happened to plan an art performance so I invited him. A few schoolmates were there as well, so after the performance we all talked. I introduced him as a friend and everyone seemed to like him a lot. We bring all kinds of people to events here, he works in the field, so it wasn't odd at all. After that, we went to get a proper drink. I thought it was really enjoyable and fun and relaxing. We talked about work, life, backgrounds, future goals, habits, interests, etc. He seemed genuinely interested. And because we both liked theatre, he asked if he could take me to see something in the future. I am usually very shy, so I didn't say yes or no. He kept giving me friendly touches here and there. I'm usually very awkward with body so I sort of gave no response back at all. But we had great eye contact and I smiled a lot. After one drink and an hour and a half really good conversation, he asked where I am at. He said he really enjoyed talking to me but would let me lead. I said I should probably go home, maybe a bit bluntly. On the train he sort of wanted to hold me/kiss me. Being me, althogh I did want to, I just shied away. I just don't do that on first date. Before I left, we talked a bit about each other's schedule. He said he's fairly flexible and can come to the area often as it's about forty min ride. But I didn't say anything... and left the train without a hug... I just said see you around... I'm really very shy and can seem cold sometimes Back home, I really enjoyed the date. So I texted him thank you and hope he got home alright. He replied immediately saying likewise he had fun and good luck on my exam. I said something related to a topic I mentioned in the conversation and good night. It's been three days. He hasn't texted me since... I really want to see him again but I suppose either he's not interested or he felt I wasn't interested... i wonder if I should shoot him a text to find out? Will that seem desperate? If I text him, do I send a general text like how are you or what? Btw, I checked his dating profile, he's active the next day after our date...
Dis Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Ooooo ...ya I think you shot yourself in the foot girl, unfortunately If I was a guy and my date acted so cold to the point of being borderline rude...I wouldnt contact her again I understand you're shy, I can be too in certain scenarios but if you dont work on warming up....guys will keep running for the hills I wouldnt contact him...hes long gone after that date
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) If you think he might have got the impression that you weren't that interested, then sending him a text first is probably a good idea. If nothing else, at least he will know you were interested. Edited January 23, 2017 by Scarlett.O'hara 1
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 You gave him many, many signals that you weren't interested that night. He must have walked away hat in hand assuming that you weren't attracted to him and probably going through your negative traits to help him feel better about the rejection. That's what I would have done. I don't know how I would respond if you texted me. But one thing is for sure, I would never have contacted you. If there is any chance at all, you will have restart it and you need to do it right away otherwise the only things he will remember is how you rebuffed his every affection and not the good interactions you had. 1
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Ooooo ...ya I think you shot yourself in the foot girl, unfortunately If I was a guy and my date acted so cold to the point of being borderline rude...I wouldnt contact her again I understand you're shy, I can be too in certain scenarios but if you dont work on warming up....guys will keep running for the hills I wouldnt contact him...hes long gone after that date Oh no... I didn't realise that at all... I'm from a different culture background. Now I really want to send him a text...
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 You gave him many, many signals that you weren't interested that night. He must have walked away hat in hand assuming that you weren't attracted to him and probably going through your negative traits to help him feel better about the rejection. That's what I would have done. I don't know how I would respond if you texted me. But one thing is for sure, I would never have contacted you. If there is any chance at all, you will have restart it and you need to do it right away otherwise the only things he will remember is how you rebuffed his every affection and not the good interactions you had. Please let me know how to do this! I really thought thanking him for the evening (texting him first) was enough to show I was interested.
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Text him and say that you would like to see him again. And sorry that you were so shy and couldn't open up much on the first date.
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 If you think he might have got the impression that you weren't that interested' date=' then sending him a text first is probably a good idea. If nothing else, at least he will know you were interested.[/quote'] What should I send him? How are you? Should I initiate a date?
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Text him and say that you would like to see him again. And sorry that you were so shy and couldn't open up much on the first date. Wow that looks really brave... It will take a lot of courage from me to text that...but I guess I have nothing to lose...
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Hi X, How are you? It was great meeting you the other day and I was hoping we could do it again soon. Sorry, if I seemed shy. I take time to open up. Would you like to <insert date idea> on <insert day>? 2
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Please let me know how to do this! I really thought thanking him for the evening (texting him first) was enough to show I was interested. Saying thank you is polite and kind of expected. It doesn't communicate any interest unless you say something like this: Thank you for a good time tonight. Let's do it again soon. And Winny has it right on what to say when you text him. You have some repair work to do, so a simple how are you doing will not work. Text him and say that you would like to see him again. And sorry that you were so shy and couldn't open up much on the first date.
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Wow that looks really brave... It will take a lot of courage from me to text that...but I guess I have nothing to lose... You are not going to war... LOL just asking out a guy you like... women do it everyday... Go for it... if he liked you but was confused about your interest he will accept it. 3
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 You are not going to war... LOL just asking out a guy you like... women do it everyday... Go for it... if he liked you but was confused about your interest he will accept it. Thanks so much! I just texted him almost the exact words you suggested! Omg my hands are so sweaty... fingers crossed... 1
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Saying thank you is polite and kind of expected. It doesn't communicate any interest unless you say something like this: Thank you for a good time tonight. Let's do it again soon. And Winny has it right on what to say when you text him. You have some repair work to do, so a simple how are you doing will not work. Thanks so much for the suggestion! I just did it... Hi, how was your weekend? It was great meeting you the other day. Sorry if I seemed shy. I take time to open up... I was hoping if you would like to hang out this week? I really hope he replies... 2
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Saying thank you is polite and kind of expected. It doesn't communicate any interest unless you say something like this: Thank you for a good time tonight. Let's do it again soon. And Winny has it right on what to say when you text him. You have some repair work to do, so a simple how are you doing will not work. Should I add more details like when and where and a smilie face?
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Should I add more details like when and where and a smilie face? No, you are fine. Don't over do it... You have done your part. Now just let it go... If it's meant to be, he will respond... Dont sweat it... 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Good for you! I think it will show him how genuine you are. I hope he replies. 1
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 No, you are fine. Don't over do it... You have done your part. Now just let it go... If it's meant to be, he will respond... Dont sweat it... Thanks dear! I really appreciate it... I would never have thought of it if I hadn't posted it here. I guess my culture has taught girls to take too much for granted in dating. At least, I tried... 1
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Good for you! I think it will show him how genuine you are. I hope he replies. Thank you so much for your blessings! <3
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 You've done all you can do. The ball is in his court. Don't send anything else to him unless he replies to you. If you keep sending more stuff, THEN you will seem desperate. 3
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 You've done all you can do. The ball is in his court. Don't send anything else to him unless he replies to you. If you keep sending more stuff, THEN you will seem desperate. Got it! You guys are great! Ok I'll wait...been thirty mins, gray arrows hasn't turned blue yet...
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Got it! You guys are great! Ok I'll wait...been thirty mins, gray arrows hasn't turned blue yet... You're on pins and needles. Time to chill out a bit. Get on with life. He may not respond and you need to be ok with that. Just one that got away. There are other fish in the sea. 2
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Got it! You guys are great! Ok I'll wait...been thirty mins, gray arrows hasn't turned blue yet... Don't worry. And don't blame yourself if he doesn't respond. You have shown initiative and interest by this text. It's up to him now. 1
Author Sandwoman Posted January 23, 2017 Author Posted January 23, 2017 Don't worry. And don't blame yourself if he doesn't respond. You have shown initiative and interest by this text. It's up to him now. Omg!!! He replied a full length text said he was worried he might not have met my expectations of fanciness. Then I cleared up and he admitted he misjudged me. And we are going out again!!! 8
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Omg!!! He replied a full length text said he was worried he might not have met my expectations of fanciness. Then I cleared up and he admitted he misjudged me. And we are going out again!!! Yay girl!!!! *muuaaahhh* So happy for you.... Next time show interest and just be yourself... take care dear 3
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