Donburi Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 I'm so emotionally drained... A day hasn't passed where I haven't broken down and cried at least once... I feel stuck. My ex won't put me out of my misery. And what hurts the most is I deserve all this pain. I betrayed him. He broke up with me May 1st, almost three months ago. He can't give me an answer. He wants to mend our relationship, but he is not ready to date me or anyone. He seems so distant and cold sometimes...so why does he still talk to me? All his friends either hate me or disapprove of me, and yet he invites me over sometimes. Why doesn't he care what his friends think? Why doesn't he know what he wants? Why does he say he is not ready to date anybody and yet searches for girls online... I can't move on. I can't move on without an answer. He says he has hope for us...I'm losing hope more and more with each passing day...I don't know how long I can wait... Is he being revengeful for me betraying him? I know I need to be punished...I've been depressed for three straight months now...how much pain should I go through to win him back?? I was just wondering if your ex decided to take you back how long did it take for them to make that answer... Sorry if I sound so self-pitying...its my birthday today and I'll be spending it alone...so I'm a little sad right now...
francis Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 oh god, this is like reading my own life story...i'm still waiting
ciara12step Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 donburi, my ex broke up with me on the eve of our 1 year anniversary, and my b-day was a few days later, we hung out on my b-day and i found out she kissed a guy (she was really drunk) that she didnt even know, thats what i got for my b-day . . i feel your pain, its the deepest most mental thing a person can go through, everywhere u go u probably see memories of him and stuff . . the only thing u really can do is the No Contact thing, he knows u want him and your around so he doesnt feel the urge to call u, u have to become unavailable, and keep yourself busy, stop staring at the phone everytime it rings, etc . just stay busy. If it is meant for him to comeback to you, it will happen when he sees your not paying attn to him, he's gonna wonder why .. and if he doesnt, u shouldnt think of it, think of yourself and just do more things .. i feel your pain . trust me
sundrop Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Ok, BIG question, are you still sleeping with him? If you are it a booty call for him. I don't mean to sound mean. But I went through the same thing last year with my ex, and all it ended up being was sex. If I was willing to come around and hold on to what little sliver of hope he was giving me, he was willing to lead me on..... Let him go and cut him loose. Dont' do this to yourself and don't let him do this to you.
Author Donburi Posted July 22, 2005 Author Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by sundrop Ok, BIG question, are you still sleeping with him? If you are it a booty call for him. I don't mean to sound mean. But I went through the same thing last year with my ex, and all it ended up being was sex. If I was willing to come around and hold on to what little sliver of hope he was giving me, he was willing to lead me on..... Let him go and cut him loose. Dont' do this to yourself and don't let him do this to you. No, he doesn't even hug me...and we haven't slept with eachother yet, either. He was waiting til marriage... We've been together for three years, planned a future together 'n everything...I should hope he never does something like that...but who knows. I'm sorry to hear that you've went through that I don't know how I would handle being treated that way...
sundrop Posted July 22, 2005 Posted July 22, 2005 I hope you had a good birthday yesterday, by the way. Glad you haven't slept with him yet. That makes me feel better. I say you need to look deep inside, and find the beautiful, STRONG person that you are and make your own answer. Don't let him deside for you, what YOUR future holds. Men are attracted to strong, confident women, and deep down you are one, so right now, take a stand and dump him. He may stand up and take notice, because right now he knows you are sulking over him. When I finally stopped waiting for my ex to make up his mind, or be at his beak and call, he took notice and started acting right. Just tell him you can't do this anymore. Trust me I know you can't do this yo yo game anymore, the more you play the more it eats away at you and the more self confidence you will lose and nobody is worth that. I'm not sure how old you are, but you can find someone out there who knows they want to be with you and won't lead you along, you just have to dump the garbage and get back out there. If he is the person you are to be with, he will step up to the plate and be that man, if not, give the next guy in line a shot. I have to keep telling myself this ( I just ended a three year relationship). SO I know how hard it is.
sundrop Posted July 22, 2005 Posted July 22, 2005 By the way Donduri to answer your question: how much pain should I go through to win him back?? None. I f you did betry him, either he can choose to forgive you or not. We all make mistakes in relationships, and we choose to forgive or not to. Nobody should be punishing anbody. If we are posting here we are adults not children and don't need to be punished. So tell him to either try to forgive or let him loose. And learn from this experiance, not to do the same thing in the next.
Author Donburi Posted July 22, 2005 Author Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by sundrop By the way Donduri to answer your question: how much pain should I go through to win him back?? None. I f you did betry him, either he can choose to forgive you or not. We all make mistakes in relationships, and we choose to forgive or not to. Nobody should be punishing anbody. If we are posting here we are adults not children and don't need to be punished. So tell him to either try to forgive or let him loose. And learn from this experiance, not to do the same thing in the next. I don't know...I really did a terrible thing...I don't want to go into detail about it, I have other posts explaining everything. Basically this happened : 1.Became best friends with his friend. Innocent until recently. 2. Felt neglected from bf, was competing with videogames. 3. Best friend told me things I wanted to hear (he was treating me the way my bf should have at the time, which I enjoyed, no lies about that) and things I did not want to hear (saying things like bf doesn't really care for me that much, etc...) 4. The three of us were at bf's house, bf and I got into huge fight and locked me out of his room, being the pathetic female I am I got all emotional and sobby and went to best friend in the other room for comfort. He again says things I need to hear, and proceeds to make "a move" on me, to which I did not stop right away. Because he was so sweet to me, I was attracted to him. A min later, bf walks in to see everything. See? I'm a disgusting person. I've told my bf how neglected I felt sometimes but he always tells me he doesn't play games nearly as much as he used to and that I'm being over-controlling and stuff...that gave me no right to let what happened happen, though...I should have sat my bf down and told him this was SERIOUS. What kind of person am I? Instead of talking to my bf about issues I go and seek what I'm missing somewhere else...if I can let some guy stroll in and ruin our relationship then how can I ever be a good girlfriend? I mean, I totally learned my lesson, my bf says our bestfriend was just manipulating me...but...before this, I never thought I'd be capable of letting this happen, but here we are...so who knows what else I'm capable of... I hate myself. I deserve pain... I'm not ignoring your advice at all, I really do appreciate it...I should have went into more detail about it, so thats my fault. He does seem to want to forgive me...I just don't know when... P.S. I'm 21, btw. he is 24.
sundrop Posted July 22, 2005 Posted July 22, 2005 Doburi, You posting wha happened still doesn't change my advise. Obviously he hasn't given you what you want or need in a relationship and like most humans we went to where we get what we need. It's called being human. People do it everyday. I really think if he cared about you he would want to try to make a mends and quit playing games and stringing you along. People hurt people everyday. Either you try to move past it and forgive the person or not. Right now he is choosing not to forgive you and you need to move past it. You need to say to yourself, you made a mistake, you messed up, and move past it and leave him in the past. Don't beat yourself up anymore than you already have. Nobody is worth it. You are young, You have plenty of time to met someone who will treat you well and how you want to be treated and not drag you down and make you feel bad about a mistake.
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