winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 So I should message him? What should I say? Oh wow! Don't do it... but I guess you will anyways do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Thing is he was very romantic..It felt like we knew each other longer and he even said that. I don't know...I am very bummed as I did genuinely like him when I met him...Felt comfortable...Nice..Nothing awkward Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) You know what? I will message him ...If he doesn't reply oh well... We are adults Edited January 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed Quoted text ~ V 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 You know what? I will message him ...If he doesn't reply oh well... We are adults Okay let us know how it goes and yeah whatever happens, dont worry, it will all be for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Damn I'm sorry. His game is weak...He talked to you for a whole year and then travels to you to get laid once...really? ...what a dbag.Not necessarily. I've known a few older men who operate this way. They almost exclusively work in sales and travel a lot throughout the year. They "cultivate" many women with talk over a period of time and then sleep with them when they travel to their cities. In one case, I found a ridiculous number of pictures of "conquered women" on a salesman's laptop. In many cases, these guys are wining and dining the women on the company's dime! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Not necessarily. I've known a few older men who operate this way. They almost exclusively work in sales and travel a lot throughout the year. They "cultivate" many women with talk over a period of time and then sleep with them when they travel to their cities. In one case, I found a ridiculous number of pictures of "conquered women" on a salesman's laptop. In many cases, these guys are wining and dining the women on the company's dime! Well this guy doesn't work in travel...He's a restaurant owner Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) My longest lasting relationships have all come after second date sex. But I have dumped people shortly after second date sex as well. Sleep with someone the second time you see them if you want to sleep with them but realize that there is no relationship of any sort at that point. You can't have any expectations that one will develop. It might, it might not. The main thing is to stop falling for the excessive compliments and phony feel a connection with you bull crap. Or you will get played over and over and over. If someone ever gives you the line that they are feeling a connection with you and you don't feel it at all, run away. Either they are giving you a line of bull or they will end up being a creepy stalker type. Edited January 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Deleted quoted hydra text ~ V 7 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 The main thing is to stop falling for the excessive compliments and phony feel a connection with you bull crap. Or you will get played over and over and over. ^^^ Right! Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Noooooo! BE A PRIZE! You can do better Stop with the whole prize narrartive, please. It's the 21st century. Women are people, not prizes, who can and should sleep with whomever they want whenever they want. OP, I think you're wasting your time messaging this guy. But more power to you. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 OK but I know women who didn't sleep till the 4 week of dating and the guy still ghosted....I understand it was early but if a man wants you he wouldn't judge you for that especially he knows I don't have Casual sex all the time as I am tight and I am an intelligent woman who is a journalist but for some reason I am naive and helplessly romantic....I don't know sometimes if I will ever meet a Man who doesn't just want sex from me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) You know what? I will message him ...If he doesn't reply oh well... We are adults Let's say he does respond. Why would you dignify yourself by continuing a relationship with someone who ghosted you and unfriended you w/o explanation??? Please refresh my memory. Did he contact you at all after the sex? His response to you the following morning was 'bye beautiful was fun.' Hardly a man looking to create a relationship or assure you in that direction. Yes, you are both adults, but you are the one who is hurt and after his rejection you will continue stewing over this. If he does respond...oh, dear... Edited January 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited out quoted hydra text ~ V 4 Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 OK but I know women who didn't sleep till the 4 week of dating and the guy still ghosted....I understand it was early but if a man wants you he wouldn't judge you for that especially he knows I don't have Casual sex all the time as I am tight and I am an intelligent woman who is a journalist but for some reason I am naive and helplessly romantic....I don't know sometimes if I will ever meet a Man who doesn't just want sex from me It honestly is a crapshoot. My ex husband and I hooked up on our first date and were together for 15 years. I have also held out for weeks and the guy bailed. They will stay if you sleep with them on the second date/they won't stay with you. It depends on what they want and how they feel about you. Having sex with them really won't change that. You do you and what you want to do. Don't feel ashamed in what you did. If you want to have sex, go for it. But don't ever do it just for him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 God....But he said we have great chemistry together...He kept saying how he really likes me..I mean I know couples who slept together first date and are together...He's not even contacting me for me to say let's slow it down :-( You are in your 30s. You are telling everyone here that you never heard of the term being used around by people that guys will say anything to get a women to have sex with them? Or do you live in a bubble world of your own that you think you are the only women immune to it and guys will never lie to you to have sex with you? Reality bites hard doesn't it when you find out that you are just one of the millions of women out there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 OK but I know women who didn't sleep till the 4 week of dating and the guy still ghosted....I understand it was early but if a man wants you he wouldn't judge you for that especially he knows I don't have Casual sex all the time as I am tight and I am an intelligent woman who is a journalist but for some reason I am naive and helplessly romantic....I don't know sometimes if I will ever meet a Man who doesn't just want sex from me Woman!!! Stop the self pity.. right now!!! Just stop it. You wanna text him... do it... and move on... okay? What is this about - I am tight and I am intelligent??? Even if u do or did casual sex, still it is NOT right for him to stop contacting you after sex. You cannot control when a guy ghosts you, but what you can control is your reaction to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Stop with the whole prize narrartive, please. It's the 21st century. Women are people, not prizes, who can and should sleep with whomever they want whenever they want. OP, I think you're wasting your time messaging this guy. But more power to you. Oh please! get off that BS train youre on. It's about instilling confidence in her. Making her feel she is worth more. Never once did ever say she wasn't a person or worthless. Seriously. You look retarded. And for the record - I'm a guy and I see myself as a prize and it's worked out just great for me ever since. Try helping people, not tearing people down 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 ANYTHING is possible, but the manner in which this guy stayed silent and unfriended her places GREAT doubt that anything you hypothesize is true. Let's say he does respond. Why would you dignify yourself by continuing a relationship with someone who ghosted you and unfriended you w/o explanation??? Please refresh my memory. Did he contact you at all after the sex? His response to you the following morning was 'bye beautiful was fun.' Hardly a man looking to create a relationship or assure you in that direction. Yes, you are both adults, but you are the one who is hurt and after his rejection you will continue stewing over this. If he does respond...oh, dear... So you're saying he should of said something else instead of by beautiful it was fun....(sigh) we hugged and kissed on the cheek...... Hmm you're right...Maybe I am wanting him to respond maybe I do have rose colored glasses on...I'm hoping that the reaction will be positive Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Men put yourself in his shoes...What was he thinking? Especially deleting me 3 weeks after Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Why would you dignify yourself by continuing a relationship with someone who ghosted you and unfriended you w/o explanation??? Eek, getting tired. Meant to say: Why would you dignify 'him'.... Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Men put yourself in his shoes...What was he thinking? Especially deleting me 3 weeks after I already told you , so many times in so many ways. Met with flames. I also tried to help you realise that it's okay and you can move on knowing you can and do deserve to be treated better. But what do I know! Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Men put yourself in his shoes...What was he thinking? Especially deleting me 3 weeks after Are you texting him or not? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Oh please! get off that BS train youre on. It's about instilling confidence in her. Making her feel she is worth more. Never once did ever say she wasn't a person or worthless. Seriously. You look retarded. And for the record - I'm a guy and I see myself as a prize and it's worked out just great for me ever since. Try helping people, not tearing people down It's bs because you disagree? That's no reason to say I look retarded (FWIW, you have no idea what I look like). I too am tryna help OP. By encouraging her to not get hung up on some jerk who pumped and dumped her. You're right, she is worth more than that, but I doubt it would have made a difference with this particular garbage person. If she'd waited two months, he might've disappeared, too. She's a prize whether she goes to bed on night one or night 21. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 True and he always did initiate and I didn't....He didn't even let me know he's in town until he actually was...So maybe he waited 3 weeks for some sort of contact from me? More and more I feel like I ****ed up If you overthink then thats what you will feel like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Are you texting him or not? I want to but still hesitant...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 But bottom line if he wanted to he would of contacted me some way :-/ 11 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 But bottom line if he wanted to he would of contacted me some way :-/ Probably ... Link to post Share on other sites
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