Duke15 Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 I have been in a serious relationship with a gentleman for the past three months. The relationship was seemingly "perfect". We got along great, spent a lot of time together, I got along great with his family and even helped him pick out a house a few weeks ago. Two weeks ago, out of the blue, he got abruptly upset with something minor and called it quits. He then told me "feelings grew strong and quick" and he needed a break because he still wasnt over his ex! I felt sucker punched, as I never saw it coming. We had met each other's family over the holidays, he talked about moving in together, and even told me he loved me. How, all of a sudden, does this happen? He wanted us to remain friends, however, this isn't going to work for me. I can't just be friends with him after all we've been through. The past two weeks we've slowly cut off contact, however, any time I do text him, he is fast to respond. I know he cares about me. Not sure what to do. I believe I need to just move on and go no contact. Is it possible for someone to be so into me and yet at the same time still be in love with an ex?
Jimmyjackson Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 (edited) He called it quits that's all you need to know, the rest is irrelevant. I know you want answers and to think about every little reason why it happened, we all do it; but in the end he chose to leave so that's all that matters. Talking about moving in together after three months stood out for me reading this, for me that would be very hasty and I'd question a girls/guys motives if she tried to talk to me about that. I also don't believe you can love someone after three months either, love takes months/years to generate. "I love you" after three months to me would be a caught in the moment thing and would really mean lust. I think it's possible to have feelings for someone and still be hung up on an ex yes, just that the feelings for the ex might overpower the feelings for you. In the end all you can do is go NC and try forget it, easier said than done I know, most of us on here are struggling but you have no choice really. He either comes back or he doesn't, either way NC will give you your answer. He has told you he's not over his ex so you cannot be together anyway, would you want to get back with him knowing he's told you this? It would be doomed for failure again. Edited January 22, 2017 by Jimmyjackson 3
preraph Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 You two were moving much too fast. I imagine he realized this and panicked. Having feelings for the ex may have even just been an excuse, though most people do have some feelings for their ex. But you were moving way too fast. You can't know a person after just 3 months. They're on their best behavior during that time and it can only go downhill from there once they begin to find that exhausting.
Maldives Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 I kno this person because it was me 10 yrs back. But it but me in the end and I would never ever do this again. Me n my ex wife at the had been separated going on 8 mths and I thought it was truly over till she contacted me and wanted to try and work things out. I had just started dating a new gi4l and thought I was ready to move on but I wasn't. I hadn't processed nor healed properly but more so put a bandaid around the wound. I was still in lov wth the ex wife who was hot n cold. I simply told the new girl we could only be friends as i was really really confused. She wanted to still be friends and me n my moment of weakness wth my ex wife being hot n cold thought it a good idea not realising how badly this was hurting the new girl. Anyway fast forward 3 yrs my ex wife ended up wanting a divorce and the new girl and me formed a relationship but it really was rebound however the love was growing slowly but too late too much pain and she cheated wth a very close ex friend of mine now. It came back full circle and I was in a world of pain. And now again the next relationship aftrr 6 yrs has broke down simply because I hadn't dealt wth my trust issues major trust issues heal 1st and then choose very Wisely ur new partner
Nnennoo Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 There's definitely something strange with people who move too fast. Like you, I met my ex's family (even grandparents) after two weeks of the relationship. He wanted me to move in after few days, I received "i love you" day after we met. Everything was just too perfect. Fairytale about building our kingdom after few months. There's a lot of info on love bombing online - I don't know if that was what happened to you (or me) but I know it hurts like hell when it disappears. I have written a long post on my situation; in short, after what I would call love showering we went LD and than it just went spiraling down and five months after the worst break up ever I am still nowhere near being ok. Just don't jump into blaming yourself, stop analyzing what happened, what could've/should've been and I wish you a speedy recovery.
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