Solve this rebound problem for me?

[Pottig]

So I came out of a 1.5 year relationship exactly a month ago now. I want the girl back (etc etc) because she needs time to sort her head out.

 

But that's not the point of this post. I'm looking for a rebound now that I'm single. I'm only human after all.

 

Just 2 days after me and my ex broke up, a girl I went to school with (I'm 23 now and out of uni), who I knew had a thing for me beforehand and who actually tried it on with me whilst I was with my ex, clearly noticed my change in status and hit me up again right on cue.

 

The day she messaged me after I had split up with my ex, she had gone to see a band in Cardiff who my ex and I were supposed to be going to see that very same night (she loves them, I don't really). I was a bit emotionally struck by this coincidence as you can imagine, but nevertheless the conversation got off to a great start and we hit it off pretty well. This was almost a month ago.

 

Over the next 2/3 weeks we were talking and we were both keen to meet up. Her especially. We told each other that we'd really like to see each other and decided that a weekend was our best bet since she's quite busy in the week.

 

We agreed on going round to one of our houses and watching a movie or something. So, the next couple of weekends I messaged her asking if she wanted to get together and one weekend she told me she was hungover from the night before and another she said she had pissed her parents off so I couldn't go to hers, and she couldn't come to mine either.

 

So I suggested we go for a drink sometime instead which she seemed to be keen on. But over the last couple of weeks she has not been replying to my messages anywhere near as frequently. We're up to 4 kisses per message now (from 0) but she is now seeing my messages, sending a keen one back, and then dropping out of the conversation again and not replying.

 

I matched her on Tinder a few weeks ago but deleted my profile yesterday to start it up again and have already matched with her again, so she's clearly still interested. My question, I suppose, is what should I do? I'm not massively interested in this girl. I'm still hung up on my ex, and this girl is OK looking but nothing I find wildly attractive (though I'm sure there is a guy out there who would!). She's just a rebound and I'm interested in as far as that goes. But she seems to have gone cold a little bit even though she was the one who hit me up in the first place and has shown most of the interest.

 

At the moment I'm just going cold turkey and not messaging her (that's 2 girls I'm having to do this to now ) but I feel like she's testing me or something, or waiting for some kind of Prince Charming message from me to impress her. I have been slightly firmer with her more recently, telling her we should do X at Y time to see if she goes with a more dominant approach, but with no luck.

 

Go for it guys. What should my move be?

Edited January 21, 2017 by Pottig

[impasse]

She doesn't like you as much as she thought she would when she had been chasing you all that time.

 

You better be telling anyone you get involved with that you aren't looking for a relationship or anything serious. Not disclosing that information isn't fair to potential women.

[Pottig]

She doesn't like you as much as she thought she would when she had been chasing you all that time.

 

You better be telling anyone you get involved with that you aren't looking for a relationship or anything serious. Not disclosing that information isn't fair to potential women.

 

I did tell her this not long after she started asking to meet up. Sorry, should have included that.

[Redhead14]

So I came out of a 1.5 year relationship exactly a month ago now. I want the girl back (etc etc) because she needs time to sort her head out.

 

But that's not the point of this post. I'm looking for a rebound now that I'm single. I'm only human after all.

 

Just 2 days after me and my ex broke up, a girl I went to school with (I'm 23 now and out of uni), who I knew had a thing for me beforehand and who actually tried it on with me whilst I was with my ex, clearly noticed my change in status and hit me up again right on cue.

 

The day she messaged me after I had split up with my ex, she had gone to see a band in Cardiff who my ex and I were supposed to be going to see that very same night (she loves them, I don't really). I was a bit emotionally struck by this coincidence as you can imagine, but nevertheless the conversation got off to a great start and we hit it off pretty well. This was almost a month ago.

 

Over the next 2/3 weeks we were talking and we were both keen to meet up. Her especially. We told each other that we'd really like to see each other and decided that a weekend was our best bet since she's quite busy in the week.

 

We agreed on going round to one of our houses and watching a movie or something. So, the next couple of weekends I messaged her asking if she wanted to get together and one weekend she told me she was hungover from the night before and another she said she had pissed her parents off so I couldn't go to hers, and she couldn't come to mine either.

 

So I suggested we go for a drink sometime instead which she seemed to be keen on. But over the last couple of weeks she has not been replying to my messages anywhere near as frequently. We're up to 4 kisses per message now (from 0) but she is now seeing my messages, sending a keen one back, and then dropping out of the conversation again and not replying.

 

I matched her on Tinder a few weeks ago but deleted my profile yesterday to start it up again and have already matched with her again, so she's clearly still interested. My question, I suppose, is what should I do? I'm not massively interested in this girl. I'm still hung up on my ex, and this girl is OK looking but nothing I find wildly attractive (though I'm sure there is a guy out there who would!). She's just a rebound and I'm interested in as far as that goes. But she seems to have gone cold a little bit even though she was the one who hit me up in the first place and has shown most of the interest.

 

At the moment I'm just going cold turkey and not messaging her (that's 2 girls I'm having to do this to now ) but I feel like she's testing me or something, or waiting for some kind of Prince Charming message from me to impress her. I have been slightly firmer with her more recently, telling her we should do X at Y time to see if she goes with a more dominant approach, but with no luck.

 

 

Block/delete -- problem solved. She's not interested in dating you.

 

she was the one who hit me up in the first place and has shown most of the interest -- She decided that she doesn't want to do that anymore for some reason. Just because a woman shows interest, doesn't mean she's all in from the get go. If she were, I'd be wary of that.

 

I feel like she's testing me or something -- If she is, she's immature, at best.

 

On top of all this, your interest in her is low and yet, you're hung up on her and you haven't even met in person. You aren't interested in HER, you're interested in the chase and the ego boost you'd get if you "won her over".

[Pottig]

Block/delete -- problem solved. She's not interested in dating you.

 

she was the one who hit me up in the first place and has shown most of the interest -- She decided that she doesn't want to do that anymore for some reason. Just because a woman shows interest, doesn't mean she's all in from the get go. If she were, I'd be wary of that.

 

I feel like she's testing me or something -- If she is, she's immature, at best.

 

On top of all this, your interest in her is low and yet, you're hung up on her and you haven't even met in person. You aren't interested in HER, you're interested in the chase and the ego boost you'd get if you "won her over".

 

I won't delete her; that seems a bit drastic.

 

Women are confusing. When she messages me back she still seems interested though. Perhaps just not enough to actually pursue me.

 

Yes you're right. I'm just interested in the chase as it stands. I'll leave her to it. She's started up a conversation with me on several different occasions over the last couple of years so I'm sure she will again.