Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Hi Guys! I'm a nursing student, I had clinical (basically a 9 hour nursing shift) in a huge hospital today (every Friday) I've mentioned this in other posts but, guys NEVER...EVER say 'hi' to me...EVER. People always think the gorgeous women are the ones that get hit on 24/7...but in reality....we're the ones that guys are too scared to say word to I was buying a bottled water at the cafeteria and was rushing around (nurse mentality) I almost ran into a guy who was waiting in line. He kind of smiled at that and said, 'Hi'. I was shocked for a second because this never happens and he was cute! I was so shocked I said, 'Hi?' lol. I tried to recover from saying 'Hi' like it was a question so I said, 'How are you?' and he said 'I'm good, how are you?' I said, 'I'm good'. Then he was next up in line so he went to pay for his apple and water. I kind of dazed out at that point, a guy actually said hi to me and I was nearing the 8th hour of clinical. 5 minutes ago I was preforming an emergency straight cath and now...a guy says hi to me??? Then he was gone. But it really gave me hope that maybe I can find someone out side of OLD!!! So my questions are, What can I do to facilitate things? Maybe I'm kind of unapproachable?? I'm more approachable in scrubs though. What can I do to be more approachable? When do I give a guy my number? How do I act less like I'm in hypovolemic shock when a guy says hi to me? These may be things people learn early on but I have no clue Thanks guys! 1
preraph Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Seriously, if you're a woman, ALL you have to do to look approachable is look up (not down in your phone) and smile at people. Just a friendly smile is all it takes. Not a flirty smile, just open and friendly. I discovered I can smile with just my eyebrows and it still works. 7
neurodude Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Personally, I've gotten shut down by every exceptionally good looking woman I have ever asked out. It starts to get in our head. If I see a very good looking girl, my instinct is that she expects complete perfection or already has boyfriend. I am friendly and smile but deep inside I know she expects a 6'3 stud. For what it's worth, I wish you the best luck in the world. I'm a med student so I know how much the medical field hampers dating. Nurses have saved my a$$ my 3rd and 4th years of med school, I'm truly indebted. I think the best idea is stay away from online dating. If guys are as shallow as girls on these apps, Tinder/Bumble is just a waste of time. I've had the worst luck on these apps. 2
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Smile, have a friendly look on your face, eye contact. Try to look more natural, less makeup, etc. I found I drew more attention when I was with very little makeup, my hair up, wearing sweat pants, hoodie. I experimented the smile thing one time to see if it actually worked. I walked around the grocery store with a warm smile on my face, made some eye contact and I had guys following me, checking me out, and one very shy guy mustered up the courage to say hi. You got to have confidence too. Confidence is attractive. 2
preraph Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Unlike Smackie, I actually had best luck when I'm made up and dressed up meeting people. Some people are more invisible than others, I guess. I had to tart up a bit! 1
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 Seriously, if you're a woman, ALL you have to do to look approachable is look up (not down in your phone) and smile at people. Just a friendly smile is all it takes. Not a flirty smile, just open and friendly. I discovered I can smile with just my eyebrows and it still works. Smile, have a friendly look on your face, eye contact. Try to look more natural, less makeup, etc. I found I drew more attention when I was with very little makeup, my hair up, wearing sweat pants, hoodie. I experimented the smile thing one time to see if it actually worked. I walked around the grocery store with a warm smile on my face, made some eye contact and I had guys following me, checking me out, and one very shy guy mustered up the courage to say hi. You got to have confidence too. Confidence is attractive. Great advice Tbh, I'm a little shy with men. If I have a date with a guy from OLD, I'm super outgoing and friendly but random guys in real life...I have a hard time making eye contact sometimes when I walk past them in the halls. But I've been working on it since I started at this hospital 2 weeks ago and I'm getting better at it. I've just never had to be approachable before because my 2 long term relationships kind of fell into my lap and the other short term relationships came from OLD. I know some people might 'know' how good they look...and just flaunt it. But I'm not one of those poeple. I'm confident but I dont use the 9/10 card to act like I deserve every guy in the room. I'm actually a little timid smackie, I wear neutral, light makeup to clinical. My hair is up in a ponytail. Scrubs are the great neutralizer of bodies hahaha...so guys arent going to be intimidated by that 2
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 Personally, I've gotten shut down by every exceptionally good looking woman I have ever asked out. It starts to get in our head. If I see a very good looking girl, my instinct is that she expects complete perfection or already has boyfriend. I am friendly and smile but deep inside I know she expects a 6'3 stud. For what it's worth, I wish you the best luck in the world. I'm a med student so I know how much the medical field hampers dating. Nurses have saved my a$$ my 3rd and 4th years of med school, I'm truly indebted. I think the best idea is stay away from online dating. If guys are as shallow as girls on these apps, Tinder/Bumble is just a waste of time. I've had the worst luck on these apps. Awww this was really sweet of you to say! Thank you! Some MDs are...not so nice but you sound awesome! I'm sure the nurses you work with love you! I know a lot of women who are overly attractive and expect nothing less than a super hot guy...but I tend to steer clear of those guys because they 'know' how good they look andddd....that kind of leads them to be cocky and arrogant which is a recipe for disaster The past 2 guys I dates were average looking, far from studs. All that mattered to me was that I was attracted to them and we clicked And yes, I'm staying far far away from OLD. I'm too tired for that nonsense. I really hope I can meet someone in real life because its def not going to happen from OLD 2
GildedLily Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 So you're gorgeous? Maybe the inner dialogue of " I'm gorgeous so men don't talk to me" is actually coming out as being unapproachable not being gorgeous. That's not a "thing" in my experience by the way. Being beautiful in and of itself doesn't make someone unapproachable but seeming conceited does. I think you should stop believing that inner dialogue as it's only helping you feel better about not being approached and focus on coming across as friendly, open and HUMBLE. 10
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 So you're gorgeous? Maybe the inner dialogue of " I'm gorgeous so men don't talk to me" is actually coming out as being unapproachable not being gorgeous. That's not a "thing" in my experience by the way. Being beautiful in and of itself doesn't make someone unapproachable but seeming conceited does. I think you should stop believing that inner dialogue as it's only helping you feel better about not being approached and focus on coming across as friendly, open and HUMBLE. I'm sorry you've gotten the wrong impression of me GildedLady. If you knew me, or my past threads, or posts here, you'd know I'm not concieted. I'm very much a giver, have a kind heart and am dedicating my life to help others So your post really doesnt say much about me....but maybe it speaks of your experiences with other attractive people who acted like jerks 1
RecentChange Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I experimented the smile thing one time to see if it actually worked. I walked around the grocery store with a warm smile on my face, made some eye contact and I had guys following me, checking me out, and one very shy guy mustered up the courage to say hi. You got to have confidence too. Confidence is attractive. THIS. My looks are quite average, I do not, and have never had a "hot" body (beyond thick thighs and a booty if that's his thing). But I SMILE, I strike up conversations with strangers easily. I make eye contact often - and like Smackie said, I will end up with follower at the grocery store. Hell some young dude made my day a few weeks ago and asked me out in the yogurt aisle. And it happen to be a zero make up, hair in a pony tail day. MY demeanor is open and welcoming - I have aquaintances remark that I am always smiling and seem happy - and that equals approachable / people want to be around you. 2
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 The first thing a guy looks at is the eyes then the mouth...friendly face, comfortable in your own skin, happy to be there, being positive....attracts everyone. Anxiety, shyness is usually taken as being stuck up/snobbish....so it is important to make eye contact, give a friendly nod to acknowledge people. 2
Redhead14 Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Hi Guys! I'm a nursing student, I had clinical (basically a 9 hour nursing shift) in a huge hospital today (every Friday) I've mentioned this in other posts but, guys NEVER...EVER say 'hi' to me...EVER. People always think the gorgeous women are the ones that get hit on 24/7...but in reality....we're the ones that guys are too scared to say word to I was buying a bottled water at the cafeteria and was rushing around (nurse mentality) I almost ran into a guy who was waiting in line. He kind of smiled at that and said, 'Hi'. I was shocked for a second because this never happens and he was cute! I was so shocked I said, 'Hi?' lol. I tried to recover from saying 'Hi' like it was a question so I said, 'How are you?' and he said 'I'm good, how are you?' I said, 'I'm good'. Then he was next up in line so he went to pay for his apple and water. I kind of dazed out at that point, a guy actually said hi to me and I was nearing the 8th hour of clinical. 5 minutes ago I was preforming an emergency straight cath and now...a guy says hi to me??? Then he was gone. But it really gave me hope that maybe I can find someone out side of OLD!!! So my questions are, What can I do to facilitate things? Maybe I'm kind of unapproachable?? I'm more approachable in scrubs though. What can I do to be more approachable? When do I give a guy my number? How do I act less like I'm in hypovolemic shock when a guy says hi to me? These may be things people learn early on but I have no clue Thanks guys! The next time a guy says "hi" to you, you be as focused, in the moment, confident and secure as you would be if you were doing an emergency straight cath. Learn to think on your feet and keep your "giddiness" in check You know what to do. 1
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 THIS. My looks are quite average, I do not, and have never had a "hot" body (beyond thick thighs and a booty if that's his thing). But I SMILE, I strike up conversations with strangers easily. I make eye contact often - and like Smackie said, I will end up with follower at the grocery store. Hell some young dude made my day a few weeks ago and asked me out in the yogurt aisle. And it happen to be a zero make up, hair in a pony tail day. MY demeanor is open and welcoming - I have aquaintances remark that I am always smiling and seem happy - and that equals approachable / people want to be around you. I would kill for your demeanor. Looks dont really attract guys....a demeanor like this does though! Striking up convos with strangers...I'll have to work on that. My shyness gets in the way of that sometimes I know what you're talking about though..I've had moments where I can just glow like that...but most of the time I have RFF (resting fierce face) Does this just come naturally to you? Or can this be learned?...because I might be hopeless otherwise
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 The first thing a guy looks at is the eyes then the mouth...friendly face, comfortable in your own skin, happy to be there, being positive....attracts everyone. Anxiety, shyness is usually taken as being stuck up/snobbish....so it is important to make eye contact, give a friendly nod to acknowledge people. Ya I can totally see that. I'm sure I've come off as such a snob before when its just me being shy Ok, eyes, mouth. Good tip. Smile on the mouth and in the eyes. I can smile with my eyes when I want to....but it might be hard to do that to a guy in passing. I might have to practice getting that down in public though I've had this whole unaproachable thing going on for far too long....I'm afraid it cant be reversed now
Author Dis Posted January 21, 2017 Author Posted January 21, 2017 The next time a guy says "hi" to you, you be as focused, in the moment, confident and secure as you would be if you were doing an emergency straight cath. Learn to think on your feet and keep your "giddiness" in check You know what to do. This is excellent! I'm typing this out in my phone to remember it I was not in the moment at all and did not think on my feet. I'm sure I seemed like an hot mess I think this is going to take practice but this is a good starting point
RecentChange Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I have always been very independent / confident, since I was really young, so I think some of it is inherent, or how you were raised. But I made an effort on the smiling + talking to strangers part. I have moved cities a few times in my life etc, and decided if I wanted to meet people and make friends, I had to meet people! Now and then I will get "rejected" when I strike up a conversation, but who cares!!! It's just chit chat. I can honestly say I talk to a stranger every day. Today it was the guy next to me on the train. We talked about the weather, some local towns to hit for road trips, etc. It all started when I looked out the window and commented on the pouring rain. Just talk to people. Smile! It makes other people smile - and it's kind fun to share those tiny moments with strangers. Some shared eye contact, a smile, and a have a good day can go far. It's not just about picking up guys, but having positive interactions with those around you. Brighten someone's day with a big ol' smile 3
emerald86 Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I would kill for your demeanor. Looks dont really attract guys....a demeanor like this does though! Striking up convos with strangers...I'll have to work on that. My shyness gets in the way of that sometimes I know what you're talking about though..I've had moments where I can just glow like that...but most of the time I have RFF (resting fierce face) Does this just come naturally to you? Or can this be learned?...because I might be hopeless otherwise I'm going to chime in here and say that from my own experience, I think it can be learned! Many years ago when I was in high school, and even middle school, I was incredibly shy--talked to no one. I must have spent my entire adolescence looking down at the floor. Needless to say, I didn't attract any guys. I only had a few friends. Since then, I've made it a point to put myself out there, and allow my personality to turn around--and it has. I'm amazed everyday that people actually strike up convos with me now! Whether I'm at a grocery store, library, school, etc. I'm definitely not supermodel beautiful or anything, but the simple of act of smiling at people and generally keeping a positive, friendly mood has worked wonders for me. I've found that when we feel happy and positive inside, others reactions toward us will reflect this. 1
Miss Spider Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 This thread made me laugh. It's so true, though...Men are scared ****less these days to approach women!!! They just stare at you...??? I'm not even a 'gorgeous' woman and I've noticed this phenomenon. I can only imagine how much worse it is for really beautiful women..I wonder when/why this happened. Who chewed these guys out and publially humiliated them to the point they don't approach women they're interested in? Not even in bars...When a guy strikes up a conversation with me, which is soooo seldom, I'm always in shock. Haha. I'm done with OD too..It's so much preferable to meet someone in an 'organic' way rather than forced. I suggest meeting guys through friends or take hobbies where you're forced to interact and talk to someone for awhile and hope they ask for your number x.x also, do you try striking up convos with them? I'm shy...but if you can start talking that does increase the likelihood they'll go in.. not by much, but... Anywag, don't give up! It'll happen. 1
PogoStick Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Ok so you're a very attractive woman. How would you feel about very average men approaching you? Would you be interested? Willing to go on a date? 2
PogoStick Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 This thread made me laugh. It's so true, though...Men are scared ****less these days to approach women!!! They just stare at you...??? I'm not even a 'gorgeous' woman and I've noticed this phenomenon. I can only imagine how much worse it is for really beautiful women..I wonder when/why this happened. Who chewed these guys out and publially humiliated them to the point they don't approach women they're interested in? Not even in bars...When a guy strikes up a conversation with me, which is soooo seldom, I'm always in shock. Haha. I'm done with OD too..It's so much preferable to meet someone in an 'organic' way rather than forced. I suggest meeting guys through friends or take hobbies where you're forced to interact and talk to someone for awhile and hope they ask for your number x.x also, do you try striking up convos with them? I'm shy...but if you can start talking that does increase the likelihood they'll go in.. not by much, but... Anywag, don't give up! It'll happen. How old are you and what age of men are you referring to? 1
Miss Spider Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 How old are you and what age of men are you referring to? I'm 26. Men of all ages, I haven't noticed any discernible difference with ages. It's been this way my whole life. I've gotten "I figured you had a bf" and stuff like that. Guys in my college classes staring me down and asking me for my number on the last day(once). A guy who I exchanged pleasantries with at a bar with my friends found me on okcupid and asked me out there and said he "didn't get a change to" please...I do remember him but he wasn't really my type and sort of strange. I'm predominately attracted to objectively 'average' guys with good personalities. Very good looking ones often lack the personality and humbleness I find attractive, but I wouldn't write them off. I think it's some weird vestigial behavior from when we lived in smaller communities and women seeing a woman turning you down would hurt your chances with other women because of pre-selection lol. A "no" never killed anyone and you just move on to the next girl who is interested/single. There's really no excuse not to ask a woman out, You're missing opportunity to connect with that woman because women are not socialized to ask guys out to the point many men see a beautiful woman asking them out as a red flag. So we just don't do it.
Purepony Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Are you one of the girls on old who doesn't reply ?
GildedLily Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I'm sorry you've gotten the wrong impression of me GildedLady. If you knew me, or my past threads, or posts here, you'd know I'm not concieted. I'm very much a giver, have a kind heart and am dedicating my life to help others So your post really doesnt say much about me....but maybe it speaks of your experiences with other attractive people who acted like jerks I DO NOT think you are a jerk. I think you are seeing the world through a lens of "I'm gorgeous; so that's why this or that happens". I think this doesn't serve you. You need to see that there are a lot of beautiful and appealing women around, this isn't something unusual. Plenty of beautiful women have boyfriends and/ or are married. You can listen to a bunch of replies that agree with your inner dialogue and stay in your comfort zone OR you can be outgoing, friendly and stop looking at the world through the lens of your looks. 8
winny Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Ha ha I think you need to smile and make more eye contact. 2
Miss Spider Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Why would someone beinsulted someone said "hi" to them lol that makes no sense????
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