neurodude Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 I'm coming to terms with just how sad I am. I'm 27, and I never took a girl on a date. The only girl I ever asked out 4 years ago laughed at me and it felt so bad inside. The girls I am interested in have ignored me my whole life. I just don't know what to do. I'm a 4th year medical student going into neurosurgery. I don't have much time to date, and starting next year I will have far less time. I will be making minimal wage as a resident for the next 7 years of my training. No girl will every want that. I go to the gym 4 times a week and am in well above average shape, am about average male height, and honestly not bad looking at all (sorry I don't feel comfortable putting a picture on the internet but I promise I am fairly good looking). I dress well, have a nice car, take care of myself, cook very well, and most importantly am a very nice/mellow guy. I would never do anything to hurt anyone's feeling; I truly have a classical physician's mentality. I do live in a large city. I admittedly don't go out much, which is probably why I don't meet many females to begin with. I tried Bumble/Tinder, but I had 0 luck. I found that I am extremely picky and only swiped right on maybe 10-12 girls out of 100 (probably the same 10-12 every guy on the app swiped right on). I only got messages from maybe 3-4 girls I was interested in (in the past 4 months) and they just stopped responding after a while (most likely because they were talking to many other guys). It just seems so hopeless. Maybe I'm boring, maybe I'm not the prototypical type A women want...I just don't know. I'm coming to terms that I just may not be compatible with anyone and will likely spend my life alone.
Frozensushi Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I'm coming to terms that I just may not be compatible with anyone and will likely spend my life alone. That's attitude is why you fail. You are making up excuses. You lack confidence. Women can pick up on that pretty easy. I've seen fat, out of shape, nerdy, minimum wage guys with gorgeous women. They had confidence and charisma. You know, you just have to get out there and start asking women for their phone numbers. Getting turned down sucks, but the more you do it the better at it you will be. Stop with this self-defeating attitude. Everything in life takes practice. If I handed you a banjo and you couldn't play it, then I laughed at you cause you sucked, would you tell me you were going to spend the rest of your life not being able to play the banjo? My point being, start practicing and playing the damn banjo! 3
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Read The Game by Neil Strauss Most of the pickup artist stuff is bull**** but it offers a lot of useful advice, and will put you in the right frame of mind to date properly, and more importantly have game with women.
Pill Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Just focus on your career for now. Continue to work on yourself and you'll be fine. You definitely need to lower your standards as far as looks go for now and just date people who you normally wouldn't consider in order to develop social skills and confidence. When you get that career popping you won't even need to approach.
Mumbles Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 I'm a bit surprised that you haven't had more opportunity up til now. I had a friend, years ago, in the medical game and he was just drowning in girls. I couldn't understand what was going on - its like all the horny young women in the world are magnetically drawn to medicine somehow I don't know how things work where you are, actually, in the medical field I don't really know how they work here either :) My mate was training as a nurse at the time and lived in the nurses dorm, a huge building with mixed sexes living there - it was a freak show in that place after dark. But anyway, that not helping you. I'd side with another poster here, change your outlook somewhat on the women you come into contact with. Medicine is full of girls, its not like the military which is basically a sausage fest. See if you can connect, at a friendly level, with girls who are interesting and lovely, not only the supermodel types. I know you didn't directly say that this is who you are targetting, but you do say yourself that you're quite picky .. and on the OLD thing picky is purely visual, theres simply nothing else to go on. At worst you'll end up with a circle of lovely young girls who will introduce you, as the nice guy you doubtless are, to lots of other lovely young girls - from here nature will take its course.
IfonlyIknew Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Really betas? I don't understand how this even happens. Maybe its mostly a women thing but I know I have to scramble my way into showing these guys what the friend zone is, maybe its the men out here that are super pushy and persistent and hardly take no for an answer (Chicago btw). If I was single I would love a man to be adamant with me.
Sweetfish Posted January 21, 2017 Posted January 21, 2017 Once a man gets pack his early twenties without experience his value goes down to nothing. You complain about pushy men and in the very next sentence you say you'd love a man to be pushy. Women like pushy men especially if he's attractive. read what she said... she said too pushy
Author neurodude Posted January 22, 2017 Author Posted January 22, 2017 Yep, more bad luck. I actually had something planned for tonight with a girl from Bumble, she texts 30 minutes before that she can't make it because something came up. I had got another girl's number a few days ago and texted her, but of course she too never texted back. I'm just going to focus on studying. You guys are right, I'm too shallow and fixated on looks. I'm only attracted to the most attractive females out there, and that has and never will work out for me. I really can't lower my standards, it's just not in me right now. I'll just continue to get rejected by girls who have so many options and incredibly inflated egos. Someday I will come to my senses and go for the smart girls in my med school class / residency who will have a stable job and good head on their shoulder. Right now, unfortunately I'm still stuck on the girls who I really shouldn't even be giving a second thought on.
BaileyB Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 You guys are right, I'm too shallow and fixated on looks. I'm only attracted to the most attractive females out there, and that has and never will work out for me. I really can't lower my standards, it's just not in me right now. I'll just continue to get rejected by girls who have so many options and incredibly inflated egos. Someday I will come to my senses and go for the smart girls in my med school class / residency who will have a stable job and good head on their shoulder. Right now, unfortunately I'm still stuck on the girls who I really shouldn't even be giving a second thought on. If that is the truth, then you have made your own bed... You have no right to complain. Those who have high expectations are bound to be disappointed. Just don't waste too much time. And, don't think that when you finally decide to "lower" your expectations that women will be lining up at your door... if you want to find a great partner, you have to be a great partner.
Dis Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 Hi neuro! Dating is really difficult...I'm speaking from experience You honestly sound like a great guy I used to be like you in the sense that I was very very picky about looks. But after dating the best looking guys and those relationships ending miserably, I started to lower my standards a little...of course I still needed to be attracted to the guy but I was no longer expecting Collin Ferrel After I expanded my horizons a little I realized that as long as theres a baseline attraction there (which you wont know for sure until you meet her) then attraction can grow if everything else is jiving. The last guy I dated was maybe a 6 but I ended up being super attracted to him because we had great chemistry between us So work on not swiping left so often. As long as your reasonably attracted to her...go ahead and meet her. You never know. You could end up being head over heels I know you're a resident so....you are surrounded by nurses! 95% of them are female. I know you've gotten shot down in the past but please dont let that stop you from trying in the future. Sooner or later your bound to succeed if you keep trying. I would love it if a resident struck up a convo with me! As for the woman who laughed in your face??? You dodged a bullet! Dont limit your options to OLD, try talking to women at work. Just be open and friendly (trying to take my own advice there ) And not every woman will make it known that shes interested in you so dont wait around for that. Just go for it 1
Jj66 Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 Just talk to women and flirt with them even if you have no intentions of going out with them. Flirt with skinny. Flirt with fat. Flirt with young and Flirt with old. Just get out and flirt. You have a lot to offer. If you know how to flirt when a "worthy" woman comes into your life you will have a good chance to catch her.
Miss Spider Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 I'm sorry a girl laughed at you four years ago when you asked her out, but you're giving up because if that and tinder? How many women have you approached/asked out since then? You don't go out much...maybe you need to change that if you want to meet people. If you live your life in fear and don't try its very unlikely things will change
LoveFiend Posted January 23, 2017 Posted January 23, 2017 Well you probably have a lot better looks then me and I have no problem getting dates, the only one blocking you from getting what you want is yourself. When you take rejection seriously your the only one blocking yourself from getting the dates you want. I learned to take a chill pill when dating and not to take anything personally. You get rejected so what move onto next girl. I would get rejected by one girl and go on a date with another girl the very next day. One girl would say she wasn't attracted to me and didn't have romantic feelings and another girl would call me her sexy man, and I am anything but sexy only 5'4" and not the best looks. My current girlfriend is taller than me and has a lot better looks then me but she thinks I am the hottest thing in the world to her. We are engaged to be married and having sex everyday. She doesn't seem to mind that I am 3" shorter than her and says I am great in bed. She is about 5'7 and 120 lbs. So you never really know.
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