Romance Scammers Portraying US Military

[selinaluv]

Hello,

 

So this isn't my month for online dating. Earlier this month I went on a date with a registered sex offender and had him removed from OKCupid.

 

And just yesterday I encountered what appears to be a romance scammer presenting he is an officer in the US Air Force. Claimed he was in Iraq and was moving back to my city in the next month.

 

I have to say he was pretty good at what he did, but a couple things did not set right, including - both his parents were deceased, he asked many questions on if I had spoken with military men online before, was moving toward love-bombing and I could see it coming, etc. I did some research on this and discovered this is some of their standard protocol and the majority are from Nigeria who have taken photos of living and deceased servicemen and women and impostor them online.

 

A couple other things tipped me off (like Tinder distance, etc. - and I know... Tinder was my first mistake) and I confronted him on his intentions this morning. He then when into a long speech about how I insulted him and he is sacrificing for our country. So much so that he can't access his bank account and was going to ask me to help him with internet so we can still talk.

 

I called him out on being exactly what he said he wasn't and blocked him. I wanted to report him on the site, but I swear he removed himself or blocked me within seconds. I will make a report, but wanted to see if anyone else has encountered these scammers.

 

LOL I thinking the dating gods are telling me to take a break, but I am glad I went with my gut on this one.

[purrrfectlyflawed]

Lots of scammers online. This is no surprise. The scammers are usually pretty easy to spot. They usually have grammatical errors and seem too polite and cordial. They sound like Prince Charming.

 

 

I do not know how women fall for these scams, it seems to be the older/widowed women that are most gullible.

[winny]

After reaching my peak level of disappointment and swearing off OLD and still losing it around 3-4 days back... right now I am feeling the calmness after the storm kinda feeling... LOL

[selinaluv]

Lots of scammers online. This is no surprise. The scammers are usually pretty easy to spot. They usually have grammatical errors and seem too polite and cordial. They sound like Prince Charming.

 

 

I do not know how women fall for these scams, it seems to be the older/widowed women that are most gullible.

 

I have trouble sometimes giving money to my daughter, I am more certainly not handing it over to someone I have not met.

 

But I guess many women do get conned and give a lot of money. I admit, his writing was spot on and no mistakes and errors. But he was very polite and proper and something did not sit right... He claimed to be of Italian heritage and when I confirmed I was and asked where his family is from, he ignored it. When I asked about his favorite sports teams, he said he play golf. Little things, but not consistent with typical online conversations. Hence my research.

[selinaluv]

After reaching my peak level of disappointment and swearing off OLD and still losing it around 3-4 days back... right now I am feeling the calmness after the storm kinda feeling... LOL

 

Yeah I still question why I am doing this.

[Gaeta]

10s of times. These military scams exist since the beginning of the Internet.

[selinaluv]

10s of times. These military scams exist since the beginning of the Internet.

 

Ugh, I was so out of the loop on that one. Sounds like they all follow the same formula.

[Gaeta]

Ugh, I was so out of the loop on that one. Sounds like they all follow the same formula.

 

Often they are widows, always have beautiful children that they raise on their own with the support of god, they're looking for an amazing woman that could be you.

 

Possible they updated their story to something modern since my dating days lol

[selinaluv]

Often they are widows, always have beautiful children that they raise on their own with the support of god, they're looking for an amazing woman that could be you.

 

Possible they updated their story to something modern since my dating days lol

 

Yep that is what I read. In this case, no kids, owns house, believes in god but not super religious, kept talking about how he was lonely. Wants a dog and a wonderful woman.

 

He had me for a few minutes. Again, if it sounds too good...

[ElizabethIII]

Often they are widows, always have beautiful children that they raise on their own with the support of god, they're looking for an amazing woman that could be you.

 

Possible they updated their story to something modern since my dating days lol

 

Lol indeed. In my case I dont want someone with kids, I am an atheist and I dont want to date a squaddie.

 

These scams would never ever work on me.

 

Also I have electric fence boundaries when it comes to money. Aint no arsehole man getting it. Not even one I've been dating a while.

[Dis]

Yeah I still question why I am doing this.

 

You're still doing this because you want so badly, to make something stick

 

Trust me, I know how that feels

 

Its so hard to give up that hope...the hope of finding that person. But dont think of it as giving up...think of it as accepting that its not your time yet and love will come when its meant to come (as much as I hate that saying!!!)

 

Tbh, if the right guy came along right now from OLD, I dont know that it would work with you because of how jaded you are (I am too )

 

I think you need to take a break, regroup, then get back out there

 

I dont know why but everytime I dated a person I felt like I gave them a part of me...and after every heartbreak I had less and less to give....I had less and less of myself left...just emptiness. Thats why I cant do OLD anymore...I dont have it in me. I think you know you dont either

 

Theres no shame in taking a break, bringing your happiness back, your serenity, your peace

 

Tell yourself that its OK that it hasnt happened yet...because it IS!

 

Take a break girly. You're heart has had enough for now. PM me anytime if you need to talk

[preraph]

I really think that many of the most active people on online dating sites or elsewhere on the internet who reach out to a lot of people are scammers one way or another. If it seems too good to be true, if they are trying to find out if you have money, they're scammers. Sex offenders are harder to find out. Never give someone enough info they can come find you at work and follow you or at home. Check them out if possible by getting an ID before agreeing to meet and only meet in very public places -- and remember, if it's a sex offender or other violent type, he won't wait until you get inside and sat down, so use extreme caution just going to meet him! This stuff happens all the time now.

[kendahke]

I called him out on being exactly what he said he wasn't and blocked him. I wanted to report him on the site, but I swear he removed himself or blocked me within seconds. I will make a report, but wanted to see if anyone else has encountered these scammers.

 

LOL I thinking the dating gods are telling me to take a break, but I am glad I went with my gut on this one.

 

Yep.

 

You have to be ruthless with them. OKCupid is highly infested with them. I was last on that site 3 years ago and they still haven't put in any guards to keep IP addresses from the African continent from signing onto the site, which is what they should do. My scammer was from near Ghana/Benin area. I laid a trap and caught him.

 

I got to the point where all I would do is sign on and look for profiles--then I would do a reverse google search on their pictures and their profile and 95% of the time, google would spit back at least 40 sites with the same pics and profiles. I'd report them without even talking to them by showing the dating site all of the other sites that same profile and pics are on.

 

Also, they all claim to be engineers/military, but cannot speak a lick of proper English. For someone who should have graduate degrees, like petroleum engineers, their inability to navigate modal verbs (which are your friend) outted them as scammers.

 

Also, Military personnel overseas do not have time to browse online personals.

 

Another tip: beware of someone who says they live in your area but are on their way out of town for work--that's an MO for a scammer, too. If they refuse to meet you face to face within 7 days, report them, block them and move on. Do not take your conversation off the site until you've met them face to face.

[ElizabethIII]

Sometimes it doesnt go as far as scamming outright. What about catfishes.

 

I have a recent thread on a guy I met for a date but he was quite rude to me and started kissing my lips and strokig my face and hands in public in a busy cocktail bar.

 

I was trying to cut the evening short as he had claimed to be a academic scholar with a PhD from UCL University. I know that and know it well and when I when I discussed with him what he did and the life there he changed the subject. Ditto questions about his publishing as a scholar.

 

I asked him where he was from and I got a description of a mountainous region. I know my geography and am very very good with countries, he dodged the question until I finall pinned down Russia. Then Kazakhstan, then he grew up in Armenia. He just couldnt decide.

 

He asked me what I do in my profession, do I just sit and rubber stamp documents all day and approve things. Ummmm I am a lawyer. He says he is a scholar with a PhD in politics from one of the best universities in the world has no idea what a lawyer does?! Ever seen an episode of Law & Order? LA Law? Even though these shows are not entirely accurate, lawyers can be seen in court, visiting clients, investigating cases which is what we do. Seriously no idea?

 

I wonder where he was from and who he really was but I am glad my guard was up that night. There was something about him just not right.

[selinaluv]

You're still doing this because you want so badly, to make something stick

 

Trust me, I know how that feels

 

Its so hard to give up that hope...the hope of finding that person. But dont think of it as giving up...think of it as accepting that its not your time yet and love will come when its meant to come (as much as I hate that saying!!!)

 

Tbh, if the right guy came along right now from OLD, I dont know that it would work with you because of how jaded you are (I am too )

 

I think you need to take a break, regroup, then get back out there

 

I dont know why but everytime I dated a person I felt like I gave them a part of me...and after every heartbreak I had less and less to give....I had less and less of myself left...just emptiness. Thats why I cant do OLD anymore...I dont have it in me. I think you know you dont either

 

Theres no shame in taking a break, bringing your happiness back, your serenity, your peace

 

Tell yourself that its OK that it hasnt happened yet...because it IS!

 

Take a break girly. You're heart has had enough for now. PM me anytime if you need to talk

 

Thank you, that is very kind and very true. I guess you figure someone has to stick at some point right?

 

I do think it is time to take a break, but it is odd... the more this happens the quicker I get back on and keep looking. I don't know what that is about and I am trying to figure it out.

 

And yes, it would be very hard not to be jaded after what I have been through. And I know I am not alone. We have all been there.

[selinaluv]

Yep.

Also, Military personnel overseas do not have time to browse online personals.

 

Another tip: beware of someone who says they live in your area but are on their way out of town for work--that's an MO for a scammer, too. If they refuse to meet you face to face within 7 days, report them, block them and move on. Do not take your conversation off the site until you've met them face to face.

 

Yes, very good points. I questioned how he was about to be online, he was good. I could see how he could convince someone.

 

I have two female coworkers who met engineers that were working oversees and moving to our city. They have a child, etc. They did the same thing saying they lost their wallet and no money while working abroad.

 

This was the first time I have seen military and I am on alert from now on.

[selinaluv]

Sometimes it doesnt go as far as scamming outright. What about catfishes.

 

I have a recent thread on a guy I met for a date but he was quite rude to me and started kissing my lips and strokig my face and hands in public in a busy cocktail bar.

 

I was trying to cut the evening short as he had claimed to be a academic scholar with a PhD from UCL University. I know that and know it well and when I when I discussed with him what he did and the life there he changed the subject. Ditto questions about his publishing as a scholar.

 

I asked him where he was from and I got a description of a mountainous region. I know my geography and am very very good with countries, he dodged the question until I finall pinned down Russia. Then Kazakhstan, then he grew up in Armenia. He just couldnt decide.

 

He asked me what I do in my profession, do I just sit and rubber stamp documents all day and approve things. Ummmm I am a lawyer. He says he is a scholar with a PhD in politics from one of the best universities in the world has no idea what a lawyer does?! Ever seen an episode of Law & Order? LA Law? Even though these shows are not entirely accurate, lawyers can be seen in court, visiting clients, investigating cases which is what we do. Seriously no idea?

 

I wonder where he was from and who he really was but I am glad my guard was up that night. There was something about him just not right.

 

Would a scam and catfish essentially be the same thing?

[Miss Spider]

Omg at the okcupid thing. I'm so glad you're okay and you got him removed. That's scary stuff. I talked to this guy on tinder when I was still on there. He gave me his Instagram before we met and I googled him(thankfully) and there was some creepy stuff on him. Not as bad as yours, but it was the straw for me and o.l.d.

 

 

It is a cesspool

I've know doubt there are some gems on there genuinely open to an LTR but just have it unlucky in the real world (Dont come in contact with enough women in real life, too timid to approach them ...hmm..yeah.)

 

But majority of them are just messing around on there or looking for hookup/hang out/fun supplement. And that's cool if you're looking for casual fun too. I think a lot of women(like myself)who want an LTR slowly learn this the hard way after having their time wasted by this bunch.

 

Think about why a normal, attractive, well-adjusted man signs up for a dating site(s). Even if he's super shy, it's a bit different then an equivalent woman. Men are conditioned to do the approach thing/chase. It's not as socially acceptable for women to do that, so we go to dating sites if we don't have enough men asking us out IRL. Meanwhile, an attractive, social man sees it as another way to open the floodgates to more women.

 

I read posts on dating forums titled "why is he acting this way?" The first line "So a month ago I met this guy on online" I just stop reading there. I have my answer to that q. It's "why do I feel sick?" "So a day ago I ate out of a dumpster..." haha. Well, chances are...

 

Okay, perhaps I'm being harsh. There are some catches there,, I'm sure. And we've all heard of people finding spouses that way. Nobody I know personally has met their partner that way, but it happens. But the garbage you have to sift through to get lucky...

 

Just anecdotal but I've been on a subreddit community for an online dating site for years. I know of couple people out of the hundred active members and thousands of total members who found their partners on okcupid in there that made it passed a year or so. They always come back. There was this study where like 7% of the couples formed on tinder made it passed 2 months(I don't know how you can even figure that??so I take it with a grain of salt. I think that % is inflated lol)...

 

On to the scammers - I have a friend who has a guy attempt this on her. She doesn't have a lot of dating xp and she's a very trusting person by nature. He essentially "love bombed" her before meeting. He told her how beautiful she was and how in love. It set her alarms bells off and creeped her out so much. Of course he was a dumb one, most are savvy enough to build rapport slowly. But something always a little "off"...

[selinaluv]

Omg at the okcupid thing. I'm so glad you're okay and you got him removed. That's scary stuff. I talked to this guy on tinder when I was still on there. He gave me his Instagram before we met and I googled him(thankfully) and there was some creepy stuff on him. Not as bad as yours, but it was the straw for me and o.l.d.

 

 

It is a cesspool

I've know doubt there are some gems on there genuinely open to an LTR but just have it unlucky in the real world (Dont come in contact with enough women in real life, too timid to approach them ...hmm..yeah.)

 

But majority of them are just messing around on there or looking for hookup/hang out/fun supplement. And that's cool if you're looking for casual fun too. I think a lot of women(like myself)who want an LTR slowly learn this the hard way after having their time wasted by this bunch.

 

Think about why a normal, attractive, well-adjusted man signs up for a dating site(s). Even if he's super shy, it's a bit different then an equivalent woman. Men are conditioned to do the approach thing/chase. It's not as socially acceptable for women to do that, so we go to dating sites if we don't have enough men asking us out IRL. Meanwhile, an attractive, social man sees it as another way to open the floodgates to more women.

 

I read posts on dating forums titled "why is he acting this way?" The first line "So a month ago I met this guy on online" I just stop reading there. I have my answer to that q. It's "why do I feel sick?" "So a day ago I ate out of a dumpster..." haha. Well, chances are...

 

Okay, perhaps I'm being harsh. There are some catches there,, I'm sure. And we've all heard of people finding spouses that way. Nobody I know personally has met their partner that way, but it happens. But the garbage you have to sift through to get lucky...

 

Just anecdotal but I've been on a subreddit community for an online dating site for years. I know of couple people out of the hundred active members and thousands of total members who found their partners on okcupid in there that made it passed a year or so. They always come back. There was this study where like 7% of the couples formed on tinder made it passed 2 months(I don't know how you can even figure that??so I take it with a grain of salt. I think that % is inflated lol)...

 

On to the scammers - I have a friend who has a guy attempt this on her. She doesn't have a lot of dating xp and she's a very trusting person by nature. He essentially "love bombed" her before meeting. He told her how beautiful she was and how in love. It set her alarms bells off and creeped her out so much. Of course he was a dumb one, most are savvy enough to build rapport slowly. But something always a little "off"...

 

 

Ugh, all that sounds so tough to hear, but I agree that finding a solid relationship online is becoming the exception and not the norm.

 

Unfortunately in my life right now, it can be a bit harder to get out there. I have my daughter full time and limited opportunities to meet men, as I am usually with her or at work.

 

Like tonight... it is Saturday night and we are at home. Last night I was home... babysitters are expensive and I would rather be with her then on these dates. I actually think I do pretty well considering and have met a few good guys.

 

Oh well. It is what it is.

 

Going to add... that I think I may have two scammers on Tinder going right now. I was actually going to remove my app and they messaged me. One just told me he is a widow, the other is deployed. I see where this is going and they all start sounding the same. LOL they are way too polite and all looking for their true love. On Tinder...

 

I am trying to get a bit more and will report them. I have never had this happen and then so many in a week!?!? I don't know if it is bad luck or if they are coming on strong right now.

[Miss Spider]

I understand. You can certainly find good people in there and all my experiences have been ok, but there is so much crap. Seems like you're doing a decent job of filtering it out. It's hard to tell if they're scammers or genuinely lonely sometimes.My friends alarm bells went off with the coming on way strong but on the fence about him being a scammer. I was convinced on scam so I reversed google search his pic and googled his name to no avail. So I started to think maybe I was wrong and he's just really weird. Then he asked if she could help him come to America lol. But the guy had his real pics and a real FB with real friends on it. No shame. haha. The lonely deployed is common. The widower thing is new to me? Trust your gut and good luck on your search:) You'll find him!

[Miss Spider]

I understand! It's certainly possible to find a good guy on there and my experiences haven't been bad either, but there is a lot of crap. You seem good at panning that out, though. The scammers are getting good. It's hard to tell sometimes if they are scamming or genuinely really lonely. They use real names,pics, facebooks. The deployed thing is common. Widower angle is new to me. They're getting creative. Lol. Listen to your gut. You'll find the right guy. Good luck!

[Gr8fuln2020]

Scammers abound!

 

This is what I look for:

 

1. ONLY a single pic on profile

2. Glamour/model pics

3. Read the profiles. Many of them are boiler-plate and sound awfully the same

4. Pics that do not jive with their age. I know some ladies look younger, but come on. :-)

5. Immediate responses after messaging or simply visiting their profile

6. Scantily-clad pics. One or two to show off ones body is okay, but if most of the pics are like that or no decent pics....

 

One thing I do during or after the first date is provide enough information about myself and get enough about her so that I can verify some facts. I really believe that if you cannot tell someone your last name during the first date, you are hiding. I have had NO problems getting last names of the ladies I have dated on the first date or sharing my own.

 

I then look them up to see if they actually exist at the place of employment they claim and, of course, google them. A little weird? Perhaps. But I don't trust anyone now days.

[andie1969]

Yep, I came across a few "widowers" who were always godly men trying to move on after their wife died of breast cancer. The "military" men are always high ranking and deployed in a very remote location but are "coming home soon". My friend who is married to an Air Force pilot has found his photo used by these scammers on more than one dating site! That has to be horribly frustrating!

[LookAtThisPOst]

Hello,

 

So this isn't my month for online dating. Earlier this month I went on a date with a registered sex offender and had him removed from OKCupid.

 

And just yesterday I encountered what appears to be a romance scammer presenting he is an officer in the US Air Force. Claimed he was in Iraq and was moving back to my city in the next month.

 

I have to say he was pretty good at what he did, but a couple things did not set right, including - both his parents were deceased, he asked many questions on if I had spoken with military men online before, was moving toward love-bombing and I could see it coming, etc. I did some research on this and discovered this is some of their standard protocol and the majority are from Nigeria who have taken photos of living and deceased servicemen and women and impostor them online.

 

A couple other things tipped me off (like Tinder distance, etc. - and I know... Tinder was my first mistake) and I confronted him on his intentions this morning. He then when into a long speech about how I insulted him and he is sacrificing for our country. So much so that he can't access his bank account and was going to ask me to help him with internet so we can still talk.

 

I called him out on being exactly what he said he wasn't and blocked him. I wanted to report him on the site, but I swear he removed himself or blocked me within seconds. I will make a report, but wanted to see if anyone else has encountered these scammers.

 

LOL I thinking the dating gods are telling me to take a break, but I am glad I went with my gut on this one.

 

Believe it or not, I met a woman that knew of a woman in my area that was scammed by a REAL LIFE guy. He was who appeared to be, met him in person, the guy was the REAL guy, but...he still tried to scam her regardless and withheld information about himself to her.

[kendahke]

Yes, very good points. I questioned how he was about to be online, he was good. I could see how he could convince someone.

 

I have two female coworkers who met engineers that were working oversees and moving to our city. They have a child, etc. They did the same thing saying they lost their wallet and no money while working abroad.

 

This was the first time I have seen military and I am on alert from now on.

 

It's a really huge problem... and what's worse--they'll take picture of military men who have been killed and use them to fabricate a lie.

 

I once saw them use a picture of General Odierno as a profile picture. I'm a news video editor, so I know who Gen. Odierno is and I lit up that guy and reported him.