Cinq90 Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 I am currently seeing a guy in his late 20s who has never had a relationship before. He is fun and entertaining but I am not sure how serious he is. We talk every day and go out a few times a week. It has been a few months and he doesn't feel ready to make it official. I like him but I don't know if he is moving forward with me or not. Some things he does that make him seem immature: - Critical of me and other people often as in he points out minor flaws (he makes it sound like a joke but sometimes I wonder if he actually is kidding or not).. - Comes off insecure. Sometimes he talks himself up way too much and other times he brings himself down about his own flaws - Tries to make me jealous by pointing out other women or talking about other women to seem cool - Subtly will check up on me when I am out with my friends and make jokes about other guys hitting on me - There are times I see him texting another girl (a lot) while we are out together. This makes me the most uncomfortable as he told me he has not been talking to anyone else Should I wait it out and try to make it work with him or is this someone who may never be ready? Has anyone had any similar experiences with people who are inexperienced in relationships?
NinjaX Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 I think a few months is enough time for a person to evaluate whether they want to move into an exclusive relationship. I get the sense he's stringing you along while wanting to keep his options open. 2
smackie9 Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 Late 20's and never been in a relationship? there is a reason why, I wouldn't make it your problem to fix him. He's not a nice person. 1
mikeylo Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and one to break. 1
ElizabethIII Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 - Critical of me and other people often as in he points out minor flaws (he makes it sound like a joke but sometimes I wonder if he actually is kidding or not).. - Comes off insecure. Sometimes he talks himself up way too much and other times he brings himself down about his own flaws - There are times I see him texting another girl (a lot) while we are out together. This makes me the most uncomfortable as he told me he has not been talking to anyone else RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN! RUN AWAY! He sounds like my ex. My ex was in his 30s. No relationship longer that 4 months. He did the whole talking himself up all the time and equally down as well. Taking small side swipes at me, I wasnt sure if he was for real or not. He used me to make himself feel better, cheated on me with an older woman whom he married. Now he has given up his job and lives off her and her parents. Just like an immature little boy. He isnt the man in the relationship. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 OP, can I ask how old you are? You mentioned your age but not his. Are you older? I ask because at my age, and even as early as probably my late 20s or so, I KNOW I could not/would not have been able to hang in there with being someone's relationship training wheels. It would have driven me buggy. I'm not a teacher! I want an equal relationship. With that said, earlier than that I'd have been down for learning together. There are a lot of possible factors here that would change my answer as to whether you "should" stay the course here or not, although of course the bottom line is whether you *want* to. It really is up to you. If you're fine with it and the other girls thing doesn't bother you too much (you two don't have a commitment, after all) then go for it.
Author Cinq90 Posted January 20, 2017 Author Posted January 20, 2017 OP, can I ask how old you are? You mentioned your age but not his. Are you older? I ask because at my age, and even as early as probably my late 20s or so, I KNOW I could not/would not have been able to hang in there with being someone's relationship training wheels. It would have driven me buggy. I'm not a teacher! I want an equal relationship. With that said, earlier than that I'd have been down for learning together. There are a lot of possible factors here that would change my answer as to whether you "should" stay the course here or not, although of course the bottom line is whether you *want* to. It really is up to you. If you're fine with it and the other girls thing doesn't bother you too much (you two don't have a commitment, after all) then go for it. I am younger than him but even so, I have a bad feeling about it. I don't think this is how you should be treating someone you are into. We have no commitment but he also makes it sound like that's where he is heading. Him texting another girl, however, shows me that his actions are not backing up his words...especially because he does it when we are hanging out.
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 I am younger than him but even so, I have a bad feeling about it. I don't think this is how you should be treating someone you are into. We have no commitment but he also makes it sound like that's where he is heading. Him texting another girl, however, shows me that his actions are not backing up his words...especially because he does it when we are hanging out. Okay...well then, this gives you your answer...this isn't a comfortable association for you, even if "just for fun." I'd nicely say good-bye, personally, and keep looking. 1
IfonlyIknew Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 YESSSSS you described the one I dated to the T. He was extremely critical of me, example (I lived in my own house while he had a bedroom at his parents) when he got comfortable I came home from work one day to find him "disgusted in all these expired cereal boxes, do you ever go through your pantry?" UMMM excuse me I'm a single mom working full time running an entire household not just a bedroom, I don't have the time to make sure things aren't expired right away. Besides petty and rude, he told me he loved me after 4 days of meeting. He was the most insecure guy ive ever met in my life. Then when I called it quits over the phone i told him I was like an hour away, i just happened to be across the street i literally watched him bust my front door down and then stole my dog, I called the cops they came and caught him, yeah never again!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recommended Posts