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He just leaves me wondering..

Coolmee

By Coolmee
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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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Hello everyone.So I met this guy on tinder and we exchanged facebook accounts so we stayed in contact for about two months before we met because i had just moved to his city.He kissed me after the third date.Besides that when we're just talking on facebook i feel like he's talking to me as a friend ;so i started wondering does he have feelings for me, so i asked him this: "i just wanted to know what do you consider me ?" He said :"i don't know why you're asking me that" i said "just answer the question" so he said you're my girlfriend.i was like 'okey that's nice it's actually the answer i wanted to hear'.Thing is i don't feel that way because he's not very affectionate besides when we're together. and if he hadn't said that he considers me as his girlfriend i would've stopped talking to him and seeing him because i don't wanna just keep hanging out.Last time we saw each other he took me to his friend's house so we could be alone just me and him ,we started watching a movie and after about 10 mins he started kissing me and he even took off my shirt and things got a bit far,but we didn't have sex because i wouldn't let him ;i can't have sex with someone i'm not very confortable with and with whom i just met,and i'm not very comfortable in my body because i don't like it,and i had to leave for a very important reason so he offered to take me home which is about an hour away from where we were ;beacause i was in a hurry.The reason why i'm writing this it's because i'm not quit sure how he feels about me sometimes i think i'm just a girl he wants to have fun with and i don't want that, plus he has a looot of female friends on facebook and instagram.What do you think is he really into me or not?

Edited by Coolmee
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Posted
Hello everyone.So I met this guy on tinder and we exchanged facebook accounts so we stayed in contact for about two months before we met because i had just moved to his city.He kissed me after the third date.Besides that when we're just talking on facebook i feel like he's talking to me as a friend ;so i started wondering does he have feelings for me, so i asked him this: "i just wanted to know what do you consider me ?" He said :"i don't know why you're asking me that" i said "just answer the question" so he said you're my girlfriend.i was like 'okey that's nice it's actually the answer i wanted to hear'.Thing is i don't feel that way because he's not very affectionate besides when we're together. and if he hadn't said that he considers me as his girlfriend i would've stopped talking to him and seeing him because i don't wanna just keep hanging out.Last time we saw each other he took me to his friend's house so we could be alone just me and him ,we started watching a movie and after about 10 mins he started kissing me and he even took off my shirt and things got a bit far,but we didn't have sex because i wouldn't let him ;i can't have sex with someone i'm not very confortable with and with whom i just met,and i'm not very comfortable in my body because i don't like it,and i had to leave for a very important reason so he offered to take me home which is about an hour away from where we were ;beacause i was in a hurry.The reason why i'm writing this it's because i'm not quit sure how he feels about me sometimes i think i'm just a girl he wants to have fun with and i don't want that, plus he has a looot of female friends on facebook and instagram.What do you think is he really into me or not?

 

It does not matter what he says. If he does not act like a boyfriend then he is not a boyfriend.

 

I think this guy is playing you. Dump him.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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It does not matter what he says. If he does not act like a boyfriend then he is not a boyfriend.

 

I think this guy is playing you. Dump him.

 

What makes you think that?

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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What makes you think that?

 

Experience. I am older, I had many boyfriends, I dated a lot, I did a lot of online dating, and I read many many stories like yours on here. When a man does not act like a boyfriend than he is just playing you.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Posted
Hello everyone.So I met this guy on tinder and we exchanged facebook accounts so we stayed in contact for about two months before we met because i had just moved to his city.He kissed me after the third date.Besides that when we're just talking on facebook i feel like he's talking to me as a friend ;so i started wondering does he have feelings for me, so i asked him this: "i just wanted to know what do you consider me ?" He said :"i don't know why you're asking me that" i said "just answer the question" so he said you're my girlfriend.i was like 'okey that's nice it's actually the answer i wanted to hear'.Thing is i don't feel that way because he's not very affectionate besides when we're together. and if he hadn't said that he considers me as his girlfriend i would've stopped talking to him and seeing him because i don't wanna just keep hanging out.Last time we saw each other he took me to his friend's house so we could be alone just me and him ,we started watching a movie and after about 10 mins he started kissing me and he even took off my shirt and things got a bit far,but we didn't have sex because i wouldn't let him ;i can't have sex with someone i'm not very confortable with and with whom i just met,and i'm not very comfortable in my body because i don't like it,and i had to leave for a very important reason so he offered to take me home which is about an hour away from where we were ;beacause i was in a hurry.The reason why i'm writing this it's because i'm not quit sure how he feels about me sometimes i think i'm just a girl he wants to have fun with and i don't want that, plus he has a looot of female friends on facebook and instagram.What do you think is he really into me or not?

 

 

Look what I put in bold.

 

Dating a guy should be fun and exciting. You are not having fun. Why stay with a guy that treats you like a friend, that is not affectionate toward you, and spends his time on snapchat with other girls? I don't know many women that would want that as a boyfriend.

 

EVEN if he tells you you're his girlfriend. So what? he is not being a good boyfriend so you dump him and search for a better boyfriend.

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Larryville Established Member

Larryville

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G: Frankly some people are simply addicted to drama and chaos and after reading so many threads here when people are being treated poorly and it is as clear day to everyone EXCEPT to the OP, there are much deeper issues going on.

 

My tagline: "If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you, either."

 

They fundamentally don't believe they deserve to be treated well and with respect...

Edited by Larryville
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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G: Frankly some people are simply addicted to drama and chaos and after reading so many threads here when people are being treated poorly and it is as clear day to everyone EXCEPT to the OP, there are much deeper issues going on.

 

My tagline: "If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you, either."

 

They fundamentally don't believe they deserve to be treated well and with respect...

 

Have a look at PerryK's thread, it will hurt your eyes.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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i started wondering does he have feelings for me, so i asked him this: "i just wanted to know what do you consider me ?" He said :"i don't know why you're asking me that" i said "just answer the question" so he said you're my girlfriend.

 

I'm wondering why he got defensive. Seems a straightforward question needing a straightforward answer. Did you tell him how you felt about him?

 

i was like 'okey that's nice it's actually the answer i wanted to hear'.Thing is i don't feel that way because he's not very affectionate besides when we're together.

 

Perhaps acting like you'd like to be kissed might help here. Like--why don't you kiss him? How much initiating do you actually do? Do you show interest, or do you sit back and let him do all the work? Could be why he's not approaching you as a boyfriend would--you seem aloof and disinterested.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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I'm wondering why he got defensive. Seems a straightforward question needing a straightforward answer. Did you tell him how you felt about him?

 

 

 

Perhaps acting like you'd like to be kissed might help here. Like--why don't you kiss him? How much initiating do you actually do? Do you show interest, or do you sit back and let him do all the work? Could be why he's not approaching you as a boyfriend would--you seem aloof and disinterested.

No ,I'm not very affectionat either because i'm not very confortable with him yet,i always wait for him to make the first move

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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It's not like I'm chasing him around or anything asking him to stay ,he can go if he wants to ,I'm just here to ask for other people's opinions .Stop being so judgemental!!

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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It's not like I'm chasing him around or anything asking him to stay ,he can go if he wants to ,I'm just here to ask for other people's opinions .Stop being so judgemental!!

 

huh?? who judged you??

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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huh?? who judged you??

 

I'm talking about Larryvill's post

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I'm talking about Larryvill's post

 

He was not being judgemental. He was actually being educative about some things in life. He means if you love yourself you will find a boyfriend that is loving of you. Only people that can't love themselves will accept being treated poorly.

 

When I am unsure about someone and the way he treats me I ask myself....if this was my mom's boyfriend, if this was my daughter's boyfriend, would it be ok he treats her that way?...Would I want my mom in a relationship with a man that is not affectionate with her, would I want my mom to be in a relationship with a man that does not treat her special but treats her more like a buddy and she always feels unsure. No, I wouldn't, it would hurt me to know she is not loved and pampered. So if something isn't good enough for your mom, your daughter, your best girl friend...then it's not good enough for you. That is what we call loving ourselves.

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Larryville Established Member

Larryville

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if something isn't good enough for your mom, your daughter, your best girl friend...then it's not good enough for you. That is what we call loving ourselves.

 

Amen..........

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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Listen I do agree with you guys in what you said ,you cannot not agree with that it's very logical and true because no one likes to be mistreated in any sort of way so no one likes their friends or loved ones to be mistreated either you want them and yourself to be happy.But the thing about relationships is almost always complicated ;i don't think that anyone found true love and found their other half right from the beginning or when they just started dating,or having their first crush so what i mean is you,your friend ,your daughter,your mom is very likely to be in this situation that i am in right now; which is you're with someone you're starting to have feelings but you're not quite sure if they share the same feelings for you;you just can't ask that person because it will sound so needy and desperate; it happens a lot.So the thing about me and this guy when i'm with him i don't feel mistreated in any sort of way,it's just that he doesn't often communicate his feelings verbally and we've just started dating.I think right now i'm just going to give hi sace and sto texting him and see what his reaction will be; thank you for relying and for your tile :)

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
Listen I do agree with you guys in what you said ,you cannot not agree with that it's very logical and true because no one likes to be mistreated in any sort of way so no one likes their friends or loved ones to be mistreated either you want them and yourself to be happy.But the thing about relationships is almost always complicated ;i don't think that anyone found true love and found their other half right from the beginning or when they just started dating,or having their first crush so what i mean is you,your friend ,your daughter,your mom is very likely to be in this situation that i am in right now; which is you're with someone you're starting to have feelings but you're not quite sure if they share the same feelings for you;you just can't ask that person because it will sound so needy and desperate; it happens a lot.So the thing about me and this guy when i'm with him i don't feel mistreated in any sort of way,it's just that he doesn't often communicate his feelings verbally and we've just started dating.I think right now i'm just going to give hi sace and sto texting him and see what his reaction will be; thank you for relying and for your tile :)

 

We are not talking about mistreatment.

 

When we are in a relationship we want to be treated a certain way. We want affection, tenderness, compliments. If we date a man that does not offer any of those than why keep dating him? He can be a wonderful man inside but it does not mean he is good boyfriend material.

 

This guy says you are his girlfriend then he should act like a boyfriend. This is not just liking someone or a crush anymore. It's past that, If you don't like the boyfriend he is than don't date him.

 

And NO. Relationships, good relationships always start easy! If it does not start easy then it will always be complicated.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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We are not talking about mistreatment.

 

When we are in a relationship we want to be treated a certain way. We want affection, tenderness, compliments. If we date a man that does not offer any of those than why keep dating him? He can be a wonderful man inside but it does not mean he is good boyfriend material.

 

This guy says you are his girlfriend then he should act like a boyfriend. This is not just liking someone or a crush anymore. It's past that, If you don't like the boyfriend he is than don't date him.

 

And NO. Relationships, good relationships always start easy! If it does not start easy then it will always be complicated.

I think i just need more time to figure out his true feelings,because right now i'm not sure.I' just gonna wait and see what he's gonna say

winny Established Member

winny

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Don't over think this. You both seem young.

Why don't you want to have fun? Why do you have get so serious and ask all these questions? Go with the flow. The only thing you need to make sure is that whatever you do is because YOU want it. He is just another guy..... :)

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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Don't over think this. You both seem young.

Why don't you want to have fun? Why do you have get so serious and ask all these questions? Go with the flow. The only thing you need to make sure is that whatever you do is because YOU want it. He is just another guy..... :)

Thank you :) I totally agree,i just don't wanna be messed with and treated like any other girl i want him to like me as much as i do

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Posted
Don't over think this. You both seem young.

Why don't you want to have fun? Why do you have get so serious and ask all these questions? Go with the flow. The only thing you need to make sure is that whatever you do is because YOU want it. He is just another guy..... :)

 

Yes she sounds young indeed, my first impression was a teen girl, but after checking she was in University in 2015. She's in her 20s.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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Yes she sounds young indeed, my first impression was a teen girl, but after checking she was in University in 2015. She's in her 20s.

I'm 20 .how old are you? you sound mature

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I'm 20 .how old are you? you sound mature

 

I am 51. Yes I am mature.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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I am 51. Yes I am mature.

yes,well thank you for the advice

winny Established Member

winny

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i just don't wanna be messed with

 

Totally under your control. No one can mess with you until you allow them to!

 

i want him to like me as much as i do

 

Not at all under your control. Just be your fun, cool, happy, best version... the right people will see that and like you for who you are! It takes one amazing person to recognize another amazing person.... not everyone has the ability to appreciate your worth...! Just know this and understand that not everyone can like you.

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Coolmee Member

Coolmee

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Totally under your control. No one can mess with you until you allow them to!

 

 

 

Not at all under your control. Just be your fun, cool, happy, best version... the right people will see that and like you for who you are! It takes one amazing person to recognize another amazing person.... not everyone has the ability to appreciate your worth...! Just know this and understand that not everyone can like you.

Thank you so much! It's very truue

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