What is going on

[Lost543]

My ex broke up with me just over a month ago. We had been together for 5 years. The reasoning behind the breakup were- ages we wanted to have children (I said approx 30, I'm unsure. He said 35). And he is joining a career which will involve him moving around our state and feels it would be unfair on me if I had to quit my job to follow him. He said to me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening'. He thought about breaking up for only a week beforehand and seemed normal within that time. When he broke up with me he cried, hugged me and kissed me.

 

We have been in no contact and will stay that way until the agreed date (23rd Jan). At that time were going to discuss being friends and some money he owes me.

Since then we have attended a party where he was unable to be in the same room as me (this was so obvious people asked me if I was the one to instigate the breakup). When asked 'how is being single?' He made a gun with his hand and pretended to shoot himself in the head. I also saw his Aunt today who told me he has spent most of the last month in bed hiding under the covers.

 

I understand that, even as the dumper, a level of sadness is expected. But this seems more than I would expect? I am worried about him and do still love him. Do any dumpers (or anyone) have any insight into why he is feeling so down? What do I do? Should I contact him on the agreed date?

[polafilipiak]

if he really loves u, he wont stop in one day. maybe he doesnt know what should do. i think that the best way is talking to him. good luck

[elaine567]

Sometimes practicalities have to overcome "feelings" and whilst he may be finding it hard it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to get back together with you.

He dumped you so it is really up to him whether he now reaches out to you.

We have been in no contact and will stay that way until the agreed date (23rd Jan). At that time were going to discuss being friends and some money he owes me.

Being "friends" with him is a bad idea if you really want more and he doesn't.

All it will do is prolong the agony.

Are you really going to sit there as his "best friend" while he recounts all his dating successes and disasters?

Makes sure he gives you back your money though, if you do not want to face him send a friend or a relative to recoup your cash.

 

Five years together, and it had to go somewhere, engagement or marriage was the next step and I guess he doesn't want to go there, so he broke up with you. I think he doesn't really want a "passenger" to impede his career progress.

It hurts big time, but sometimes that is how life goes, you walk along life's path with someone for a while and then they go their way and you go yours.