AWomanScorned Posted January 19, 2017 Posted January 19, 2017 This is going to sound so MILLENIAL of me, but I'm going to put it out there anyway. I joined Facebook around 11 years ago, so most of my adult life is chronicled in the numerous albums, news feed posts, etc. on there (many of which I now have set to where it's only viewable to myself). I'm currently going through a divorce with someone who I was with since 2008, just two years less than my Facebookiversary. I posted constantly about the things we did together when our relationship was in a good place, so the Memories feed has something EVERY SINGLE DAY that reminds me of him and I can't help but be curious about that feed, even just to see how much I've grown since then. There's no way to turn it off and he now has me blocked on Facebook, so I can't filter his name out of what appears in that memories feed... I've been contemplating starting over fresh with an entirely new profile. Who here has done that? Was it cathartic? Did you return to the old Facebook after a while? Was it good for your soul or did you miss what you had built up in terms of friends, likes, etc.? I'm also having a hard time in my mind about deleting any digital photos I have of us because we have an infant child together and I wonder if she'll want to see any of those photos when she's older. (Or is that me just making an excuse to hang on to stuff that hurts me to see?) I threw away paper copies of pictures, but he dug them out of the trash and kept them for himself. It always irritated me to find old love letters and pictures from his past girlfriends... I never kept any of that junk from my exes... But with a child involved, would it be a mistake for me to erase all memories of him? (It's a really bitter divorce process, involving another woman he started seeing while I was still pregnant.) Thoughts?
stillafool Posted January 19, 2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Yes delete all of it and get off social media. You will be a lot happier and have far more free time to do important things. 1
VeveCakes Posted January 19, 2017 Posted January 19, 2017 You can actually chose to not have memories show up... or just go through your old timeline and delete everything.
BC1980 Posted January 19, 2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Making a new profile sounds like a good idea. A clean start.
lizardking82 Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 Listen, I know that right now, seeing those photos with him is like someone poking your open wound everytime. I get it, I went through the same thing myself about two months ago. Personally, I don't think there is any reason for you to go extremist on your memories. You were happy back then. Those are good times of your life. Yes, right now you maybe wish you wouldn't have those memories at all because they hurt like hell, but I would suggest to simply get off of social media or stop looking at them. Don't delete them. After some time, when some time has passed, you will maybe want to look at them again and if you delete them now, there will be nothing to look at. I have never understood why some people take this so personally and they go balistic deleting pictures and everything else. I get it, don't look at them now, because your personality and who you are is so intertwined with the relationship that you are unable to think of those as good times now that you know you won't have them anymore with the person. But keep them. Stuff them somewhere. Start a new Facebook account. Don't be full of extremism and hate for a time where you were happy and you chose to be in. I know how hard it is. Please hang in there. It will not be an easy road. Do not judge your pain right now. Feel your pain, let it go through you and out of you. Cry if you need to, as many times as you need to. Wish you a speedy recovery
Kelley Posted January 20, 2017 Posted January 20, 2017 I simply moved all the photos to a memory stick, rather than delete. I was happy back then, and he was part of my life. Even though he cheated on me, and I was devastated I knew there would be a day when I wasn't hurting anymore. I was looking through that memory stick the other night actually, and you know what it was nice, remembering all the places we visited together. He will always be part of my past, and my journey. I'm with someone new now, and happy. But it was nice to look back and I think just deleting is just removing that person, you cared, you loved and I think you had your time with that person, we never know why we meet someone but I believe to just remove them and the memories is harsh. Do what feels right for you.
RocketQueen Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 Everyone's stories are different, you will work out what is best for you. I personally didn't do the whole deleting thing, some days mutual friends would post 'memories' that were a sucker punch and felt like a setback but I also think the odd unexpected reminder, although painful, helped. Through the whole process I have never denied or hid away from the messy clean up after our split and have rode every emotion out. It's been a long process and at times it felt too much but I now feel so different. I don't really feel anything- not in a numb way just in an unusually peaceful way and I think had I, for myself, removed all traces of him from my life it would have come back to bite me the a** at some point anyway. You do what's right for you because it's you that matters in this process
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