Mess [she was meeting her ex to see if she still had feelings. She does.]

[R84D]

I've been in a long term relationship for 5 years and it's started turning bad. I met somebody through work and we instantly became friends. We saw each other every day and had our 'daily dose' of friendship. She was in a similar place to me and had left her husband after a few weeks of knowing me. We knew we had feelings for each other and promised to keep them at bay until it was appropriate.

That didn't happen. I guess we slowly moved in to having an affair, whilst still having this amazing friendship. I started the ball rolling in ending my relationship as this is what I was sure that I wanted.

 

We started spending more time together which was all still good, until she said that she felt pressure. I tried to hold back and slow the pace which was good, but then ended up moving out of my house with my ex that I left over Xmas. With nowhere to go, my friend offered me her room.

 

Things got intense, she blew hot and cold but went away with one of her girlfriends for a week. It's on holiday that she started texting her ex husband. When she came back she told me this. I'd had a good think whilst I was away and was looking for elsewhere to go so that we could make a start. She then dropped the bombshell that she was meeting her ex to see if she still had feelings. She does.

 

I've told her that I'll try to stick by her as a friend, even though I don't agree with what she's doing. I've nothing but respect for her, but I hurt badly. I want to do what's right, so I'm giving her space and just hoping she realises that I'm here.

[Frozensushi]

Is she still married to him?

[R84D]

Yes, they were due to start divorce proceedings in February.

[EveryWomanJ2911]

Wow, what a sticky situation! Do you think you want to remain her friend while you have all these feelings for her? Do you think she really wanted to leave her husband, or that she was just bored and looking for some excitement in her life when you came along? The way things began seems awfully tawdry. I only hope she didn't just use you to make her husband jealous and create drama, only to toss you to the side when she got the reaction from him that she wanted. I'm really sorry this happened friend. Are you open to a clean break and a fresh perspective on things, seeing as how she already put a stop to your relationship? Maybe now is the time to take a step back and think about what kind of relationship will work out best for you in the long run, instead of just reacting to a hyper dramatic experience. I can't help but ask if you really wanted to leave the person you were with previously...or if you just got caught up in the physical part of it all? In any case, getting between a married couple usually just ends badly for everyone. Be careful out there and take care of yourself.

 

Prayers and Blessings Friend!

[Hopefuleddie]

Oh wow,

 

This is sticky decision; I would humbly suggest you allow her to do what she feels. I am quite sure this is not what you expected, however as long as her heart is wondering, you will never fully have her. You may not realize it, but this really is a good time to reflect, re-clarify your vision, run hard after it. All the best.

[Been]

Man I don't mean any disrespect but you were having an affair with a MARRIED woman which is in itself is wrong.

Someone that's going to cheat on thier husband/wife are not going to be the most trustworthy person.

It's not hard to sit down with someone your married to and express your feelings and THEN move on. You don't start something while still involved-that's just someone who doesn't want to be bothered. And remember everything she is telling you is HER version-I'd put money on it that she leaves a lot of things out.

[Been]

And how do you have feeling for someone when you've been cheating on them?

[mystificatecg]

Agreed with above. Women ALWAYS give a one sided story of their ex, especially if marriage is on the table.

 

And I hope you don't think she won't just cheat on you when the grass is greener.

[dumbass2]

She cheated on him with you and she would do the same to you if you ever allowed yourself to be her plan B. If you two work together and see each other every day, I think this is going to be a long and painful journey for you. You should no longer be her "anything". I didn't see how you two will be able to continue to work together. Once romance becomes involved, there is no "just" going back to being friends only.