ben1985 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Hi, i'v recently split up from my partner of 12 years. She has had a very bad 2 years and as a result has been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I thought we were getting through it as she started to show signs of improvement after the tablets started working. After 6 weeks she started staying round her parents place more and more saying she needed space. 1 or 2 days became 2 weeks and she ended it last Friday. The thing is, she also did this 9 months ago when she went off the rails with what she called a spiritual enlightenment. Basically depression and anxiety. She n ever got treatment then though. She came back 8 weeks later after it calmed down. We were supposed to be married last September. I'v got some issues which frustrated her. The main one being i'v not passed my driving test yet. We have so much history and we are each others 1st loves. I know if she can continue her treatment and return to her normal self we will have a chance to get back on track. Anyone else experienced a relationship with anxiety?
freddy2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 12 years wow maybe she is feeling sick of herself bringing you into her storm and wants to see you flourish on your own maybe needs to push through it on her own for a while, youre support has likely been great but possibly youve become a carer rather than a boyfriend healing means taking a big big break from everything and resetting yourself id give her massive space and allow her to "miss" you with her living extended periods of time with you not being near, say hi once a week to show your thoughts but break away from being mr carer and be that fast lane stallion she lusted for back before all this mess came about
Author ben1985 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 Yeah that's what I think but there's always alot of people uncertainty when u get dumped like that . I'm hoping she can get sorted.
Redhead14 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Hi, i'v recently split up from my partner of 12 years. She has had a very bad 2 years and as a result has been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I thought we were getting through it as she started to show signs of improvement after the tablets started working. After 6 weeks she started staying round her parents place more and more saying she needed space. 1 or 2 days became 2 weeks and she ended it last Friday. The thing is, she also did this 9 months ago when she went off the rails with what she called a spiritual enlightenment. Basically depression and anxiety. She n ever got treatment then though. She came back 8 weeks later after it calmed down. We were supposed to be married last September. I'v got some issues which frustrated her. The main one being i'v not passed my driving test yet. We have so much history and we are each others 1st loves. I know if she can continue her treatment and return to her normal self we will have a chance to get back on track. Anyone else experienced a relationship with anxiety? You tell her that she can take some time to get her head around all this but you want a specific date/time when the two of you can sit down together and talk with clear, level heads and make a plan and not longer than 2 weeks, and that's being generous. You cannot allow her to cut you out of this situation. You seem to be a stand up guy and she needs to respect that . . . this is about three of you now.
Redhead14 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Ooops, I posted the above in the wrong thread . . . sorry about that:eek:
Author ben1985 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 I'v said that. She just says we've run our course and she still loves me and she'll never forget me. She also says she knows something really bad is going to happen to her and I will need to be strong. She's not suicidal but her anxiety is really bad.
Author ben1985 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 Ooops, I posted the above in the wrong thread . . . sorry about that:eek: Haha it made sense though.
Redhead14 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) Haha it made sense though. Yes, it could have applied here as well . . . just give her the space. If she comes back though and you take her back, you need to sit her down and tell her she cannot come and go out of your life. You are not a doormat. When someone tells me or shows me that they need space, I become NASA. They can contact Houston when/if they figure out what their problem is and, if they take too long, they may not have a place to land their aircraft. And, if I do let them land, I will take up the landing pad so that they can never use it again or me. Edited January 18, 2017 by Redhead14
freddy2017 Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 she has closed up her party nightclub and has gone on leave for personal reasons but youre still banging on the door going let me in let me in!! give her what she wants, if she comes back, lucky you, but knock on some other girls doors its the only way to move on and it will also be much much more fun right now just dont be banging on her door cos she is closed now for whatever reasons
Hopefuleddie Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 I don't have much to say about this since I haven't necessarily been where you are before, except to wait awhile and reflect on the lessons learned with her, and give her your genuine concern and help when ever you get the chance.
ZayKayWill Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 You seem to be taking this break up very well, Topic Creator. 12 years is a long time.
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