Does he truly love me and not the ex?

[CaramelKisses81]

Hi all I am new to this forum and am looking for some advice and opinions please...

 

I am really starting to believe my man who I've been living with for 4 months and been with for 9months isn't over his ex and may have been cheating on me with her throughout the entire time of us being together. There was major drama that went down on New Years , unexpected drama.

 

One of my friends is friends with my mans ex. They talked and apparently my friend ( whos name is Mike) told me he had some things that he felt I needed to know. He told me he was still involved with his ex ( Sara). My bf told me that it was all lies and that he stopped seeing her in May2016..but we made things official in April of 2016. That's all that he admitted to.

 

So I told Mike that if she didn't have concrete proof that I am going to stay with my man and continue on with our relationship because I thought it was solid. Well.... she contacts me on FB to let me know of the concrete proof... at that point, me and my man were kind of over. She told me these times where they were out together and hooked up over at her apartment. She said they'd go out on their lunch breaks to hook up or just have lunch. She said that he bought her a couch and a table My man denies it and says they've only been friendly and they'd just talk about things going on in their lives so of course she knows about events that went on in his life.

 

He feels that shes just mad because he chose me over her. She told me that he took her to his friends/Coworkers birthday party. She also said that there were times he'd go through her phone. All of these things had me wondering if all this were true. I don't know how I feel about things as he hardly ever talks about her. So I'm staying for reason I don't want to get into.

 

Hopefully things work out, if not I have A LOT of pieces to pick up.

 

Does anyone feel like I should be worried?

Is he still in love with his ex?

Should I believe him?

 

I told her in one of her messages to me that if he ever contacts her to let me know by screenshots because it'll have his phone number date and time of contact.

Was that smart of me to request that?

 

I gave her my number to contact me.

Do you all feel that he will try and reach out to her or will he leave her alone and respect our relationship?

 

Again he's denied everything.

Edited January 16, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[VeveCakes]

Get a Voice Activated Recorder and put it in his car....wait a few days and see what happens.

 

Too hard to tell from either side. Any other reasons you think he may cheat?

[CaramelKisses81]

Get a Voice Activated Recorder and put it in his car....wait a few days and see what happens.

 

Too hard to tell from either side. Any other reasons you think he may cheat?

 

Just from all the information I've received, it makes me feel he's not over her. I don't think he wants her back, but I do feel as though, he still loves her. We got together in April 16. he says they ended things in May. He has tattoos on his arm from April that he got...one says "DAMAGED".... another is of a voodoo doll that says "as you wish" with the doll holding the heart.... the other has one of harley quinn holding a human heart. What would that tell someone if they were in my shoes?

[KatZee]

I would tell that person to move on.

 

Of course he's not over his ex. You're a rebound. He ended with her in April, and is dating you in May? On no planet is he over his ex, especially since he's been in constant contact, doing things for her, going out for meals, etc etc.

 

You've seen the proof. What is exactly you need here? You're essentially the other woman.

[CaramelKisses81]

I would tell that person to move on.

 

Of course he's not over his ex. You're a rebound. He ended with her in April, and is dating you in May? On no planet is he over his ex, especially since he's been in constant contact, doing things for her, going out for meals, etc etc.

 

You've seen the proof. What is exactly you need here? You're essentially the other woman.

 

I haven't seen any proof of his cheating though.

 

I'd think she's the other woman if they were in fact cheating behind my back, don't you think? He spends his nights and weekends with me.

[KatZee]

I haven't seen any proof of his cheating though.

 

I'd think she's the other woman if they were in fact cheating behind my back, don't you think? He spends his nights and weekends with me.

 

If someone's gonna cheat they're gonna cheat. My ex spent nights and weekends with me and still managed to be out banging his ex behind my back.

 

Basically same scenario as you. He broke up with his ex, dated me a month later, claimed up and down I wasn't a rebound, I had no physical proof of him being unfaithful but my gut was telling me otherwise because there was still contact between them. Because I had nothing, I stayed.

 

Well the proof came out two years later, and guess who left that relationship looking like one giant jacka$$? Me.

[VeveCakes]

I haven't seen any proof of his cheating though.

 

I'd think she's the other woman if they were in fact cheating behind my back, don't you think? He spends his nights and weekends with me.

 

I thought the same. My ex bf used to go at lunch and hook up with prostitutes and his ex gf....get the recorder if you need proof.

[CaramelKisses81]

If someone's gonna cheat they're gonna cheat. My ex spent nights and weekends with me and still managed to be out banging his ex behind my back.

 

Basically same scenario as you. He broke up with his ex, dated me a month later, claimed up and down I wasn't a rebound, I had no physical proof of him being unfaithful but my gut was telling me otherwise because there was still contact between them. Because I had nothing, I stayed.

 

Well the proof came out two years later, and guess who left that relationship looking like one giant jacka$$? Me.

 

I thought the same. My ex bf used to go at lunch and hook up with prostitutes and his ex gf....get the recorder if you need proof.

A question for you 2.... did he deny cheating on you all? did they get back with the exes? Did yall feel throughout the entire relationship that he'd talk about the ex to you all? Did he do anything extreme like get tattoos to express his feelings about a breakup?

[VeveCakes]

A question for you 2.... did he deny cheating on you all? did they get back with the exes? Did yall feel throughout the entire relationship that he'd talk about the ex to you all? Did he do anything extreme like get tattoos to express his feelings about a breakup?

 

Yes he denied cheating or anything inappropriate. Even after I saw they were texting. He told me how much he hated her blah blah. They were walking his dogs together every day while I was at work, he drove my car dropped me off...etc etc.

 

They are back together, but he's in jail now so she has to visit him there instead haha. For a while the hooker was visiting him too. No tattoos because hes in jail but he already had a bunch.

 

I on the other hand, got a tattoo after every significant break up. Not as a memory to the person, but always run to the shop to dull the pain.

[CaramelKisses81]

Yes he denied cheating or anything inappropriate. Even after I saw they were texting. He told me how much he hated her blah blah. They were walking his dogs together every day while I was at work, he drove my car dropped me off...etc etc.

 

They are back together, but he's in jail now so she has to visit him there instead haha. For a while the hooker was visiting him too. No tattoos because hes in jail but he already had a bunch.

 

I on the other hand, got a tattoo after every significant break up. Not as a memory to the person, but always run to the shop to dull the pain.

 

Maybe that's what he was doing. and thank you for sharing. He hasn't dogged out the ext though he did say that the reason for her contacting me was because she's hurt over him choosing me over her.

 

ETA: I did tell the ex to contact me he tries to get ahold of her. that way I'd have proof. I told her to screenshot the text because it'll show his number, date and time.. So far... no word from her.

Edited January 16, 2017 by CaramelKisses81