krooker Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) I met this girl 2 months ago, since we have mutual bestfriends there was a night that i went to see them and there she was, she was the one that saw me and was like "oww" and talked to her friend so we could hang out again. After that we went on "double date", we had so much in common! it was like we were each others half, the problem was she had a boyfriend (6 years relationship). The next week we and some more friends went all on a weekend and stayed all at the same friend place. We had an amazing weekend and i started having feelings for her, so i talked to her about it and said i was going to distance myself because she had a boyfriend, this is when she said she felt the same and didn't want me to get away because her relationship wasn't good since 2 years ago. Well we kept seeing each other and exchanging some kisses now and then, one night i took her out to dinner (the most romantic place) i felt we were so in love, and we kissed and had the most romantic and loving night, she said things like "I love you" "I will never let you go", she stayed with me that night but nothing happened (sex). The next day she went to talk to her boyfriend and ended the relationship! This is when things started to go bad... She started acting different, somedays she called me and all was fine, others i felt like something wasn't right, she started being unstable, she would avoid my kisses and was cold, and other days she would accept them and say things like "when we get married" or "Where we are travelling first?". So there was 1 entire week that we talked everyday and all was right, even she said "I love the place we are now, feels so right" and that weekend was the New Years. She went with her bestfriend (girlfriend of my bestfriend) to our town to spend new years eve, she stayed the weekend at my house (with my parents), it all went perfect she loved it and i felt like she really did. After this we went all week barely talking and we didn't see each other, next week we have a talk and she says we moved to fast and she liked me and didn't want to exhaust everything there is with us. I said we could take things slow and that i just didn't want to lose her, well next 3 days without talking and she says she wants to talk to me in person. The talk was to end things, because she said there was too many things already weighing our "relationship" and we stopped being all happy and smooth and started being always serious talks and dramas. The thing is that i was never the one pushing things fast, because i knew she just got out of a relationship, she was the one that said all those things without any filter and sent me musics like she was in love and wanted me forever. Those talks/dramas happened because she changed her attitude and she wanted to take things slow. She caused it! I didn't said this to her because i'm madly in love with her and want to fight for her. During the talk, i said that i loved her and we could fight this, everything could be as it was. She agreed to try! We almost never talked after (as we used to do) and we had a date this saturday at my place (dinner, movie). I put my mind to the game and played like "a man" max self-esteem and all cool, the date went well we kissed and she slept with me(no sex). My worry is that i don't see things going to what they were because she doesn't want a relationship but in the end that's what we have, the person i was on saturday wasn't me, i'm a romantic and "the nice guy" who always treats her like a princess and do all she wants even without her asking. I just want to feel that she wants me, i want her to hug me, kiss me and say that she loves me (Like she did before!). She has her mind at her job, and is afraid of what her family will think if she started another relationship right away, i really love her and i'm crying all dam nights because of it... What do i do? Does she want me? What is going on...? Edited January 16, 2017 by krooker
mikeylo Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 Dude, leave her alone. She doesn't want to be with you. 1
preraph Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 She's not going to stay. Now she's trying to turn you into 'just a friend.' Also, you now know she'll cheat on you because she cheated with you.
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 She used you as an escape, and you got all caught up in it with your infatuation for her. She got her thrill out of and finally came back to reality. This isn't real........she did a rebound off you. BTW, sleeping in bed with no sex, doesn't want anyone to know or see you two in a relationship...is a cuddle b%$#&. That's the kiss of death.
enddeck Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 She is a cheat.She cheated on her long time boyfriend with you so why in hell do you think she is relationship material.What exactly are you getting from this,cuddling but no sex!Buy a teddy bear its less hassle. 1
OnlyHonesty Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 She showed you who she was, you ignored it....
ElizabethIII Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 i really love her and i'm crying all dam nights because of it... What do i do? Does she want me? What is going on...? In the gentlest possible way: you have known her for 2 short months and you arent in a relationship with her. Crying all night over her is an over reaction to say the least. She is full of excuses and hedging her bets. Let her go. You can do better. 1
Jj66 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Run along, dude. She doesn't want you. You may think you want her but you don't if you value your sanity.
BrokenBranches Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 As a guy that just ended it with a girl i started seeing 2 months after her breakup, you should end it. It was purely incredible for the first 4 months or so. Then some negative stuff started getting mixed in, like her being distant, giving less attention, etc. She was always unsure if we should date exclusively or not, so we basically were casually dating. Everyday i regret not ending it or taking a break after she said she still wasn't sure if or when she'd be ready to date. We didn't want to lose each other so we continued to do our thing, though she kept getting worse and worse. I honestly think our best chance at any health long term relationship would've been ending it back then on a high note as hard as that is. And i'd say the same for you. Let her figure her **** out, have her rebounds, etc. She's just putting a band aid on her feelings by being with you and they'll resurface like they've started to. Give her space and time, end it on a good note.
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 1. In addition to being a cheater, she is an absolute, pure, certifiable drama queen psycho wackadoo nutter. 2. Let me guess. She's hot (!!!!!!!). Right? What do I win?
winny Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Create some distance. Do your own thing. Dont make her the focus of your life. She seems like a mess.
Author krooker Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) Thank you for all the answers. I know you are right, i'm always cold with everything in life even with my parents... But when it comes to love i just lose it! I give it my all, everything without any mind games or filters... This was 2 months, but i already had on my mind that this would be the girl of my life, because she made me feel like she was. I had a 3 year relationship but this 2 months hit harder than any previous girlfriend. I'm just depressed and feel like once again i have been played, and that i didn't deserve this. Well... Life is like this right? People like this exist unfortunately. Once again thank you! I will try my best to overcome this and get her off my mind Edited January 17, 2017 by krooker
niji Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) I had a 3 year relationship but this 2 months hit harder than any previous girlfriend. I'm just depressed and feel like once again i have been played, and that i didn't deserve this People sometimes comment things like, "How can you be so devastated, it was a X months affair!" while in reality, these "short" relationships can hurt, at least in the short run, way more than LTR (1-2 years +). This is because we're still in the early stages of infatuation and everything is still perfect - we're still on a high note, then boom, things fall apart. Vs many LTRs end not necessarily because of any extraordinary events (aka cheating, etc), but from long-term incompatibilities that didn't surface until later into the relationship. In those cases, at least one of us, if not both, bow out when we're both tired and disillusioned, and the pain of the breakup may not be as sharp, as vicious (though it'll probably be more of a numbing pain that lasts for a long time). What you're going through, is completely normal. But make no mistake of thinking what you have with her is "deep" or that she's your "true love" because you're in deep pain. You're still in the honeymoon stage, that's why it hurts more than your 3-year relationship. Heck, I had two not-even-a-relationships, and was devastated both times. We always want what we can't have. I can guarantee you, that once you've settled down with someone stable, you won't even understand the miseries of the "could have been". Edited January 17, 2017 by niji 1
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