Gaeta Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 And he said he would take it down if I asked him to. I didn't take that as a offer. That is not how to put it in your original post. You said he ASKED you a direct question: if you wanted him to take his profile down. If you answer no than it cancels anything you may have said on the subject previously to that.
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) Amen! And, OP, you cannot justify irrational behavior on a panic attack! If your condition is so severe that you cannot observe the norms of social interactions, then you should not date until you get get therapy and/or meds to manage your condition. That said, I don't buy the "panic attack" excuse, as lashing out at others is not a symptom. Doesn't seem like you know much about panic attacks. They absolutely can and do cause irrationality. Irrational thoughts... Fear of irrational things... And if you get them you are assuming they are exactly the same for everyone. BTW I didn't 'lash out' like maybe you are thinking. I really shouldn't have said it that way because my text to him really wasn't angry at all. Just upset. Talking about how I felt about the situation, the issue I had with all of this and why and just reaffirming a bit of what I already told him I wanted. Actually I read it back and no I definitely wasn't lashing out at all. Sometimes I don't word things right. I should not have said that. I just sent him this long, kind of emotional (but not angry!) text... I guess to ME that kind of feels like 'lashing out' but in a very different way than the angry type. An INFJ lashing out! Haha if you don't know anything about INFJs that won't make ANY sense to you. And even if you do that probably still won't! No I'm actually a very calm person. Too calm at times, as I've been told. See when I talk about anxiety people get these ideas of someone being all uppity and what not... Haha. NO. You see if you knew me and talked to me in person you would never guess I had any issues with anxiety. In fact I've told people who have known me for years and they were downright shocked. Therapy is expensive. I've asked my doctor before to refer to me to someone but that didn't really work for me. As in he didn't think I needed therapy at all. Thought I was far too well adjusted. Like I said you would never guess... And a professional himself didn't think there was any issue. And I'm like allergic to drugs or something. I've thought about meditation. Yoga... But I'm not into yoga. Edited January 17, 2017 by Nyx001
xUnknown Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 I'm with MightyCPA on this one. She never expressed how she felt. a month and a half (with two weeks of that being away) is still pretty early. To be honest, if it was that early in a "relationship" and some girl flipped on me about my account, to be honest, I'd keep it up too. Having some girl flip on me multiple times about it WOULD push me away and want to pull back a little bit. For that alone, I don't blame him one bit for keeping it up and wanting to talk to other people. Anxiety or not, she did this to herself. I wouldn't tell her I deleted it, because that would be lying. But like MightyCPA said, she never let her intentions be known to him. I don't think he's testing her, I think he's just tired of her thinking he is a mind reader and going to know exactly what she wants without her telling him. Anxiety or not, that needs to be under control before getting into a relationship, or else this sort of stuff can happen. If it was a long term relationship and your anxiety started, then that would be a different story. They should be there for you. But when starting to see someone new, guys don't want to see drama like this so early, hell, nor do women. Its a big turn off and I think CPA is right. Had you said something (and still can say something) about him ACTUALLY taking it down, and not being so wishy-washy (which gives him the opinion that you don't really care), things can and will be different. Say something to him about taking it down. Apologize for flipping out. Don't tell him about you having your friend check up on you, he's a guy, he probably already knows this especially if your account is disabled. 1
xUnknown Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Doesn't seem like you know much about panic attacks. They absolutely can and do cause irrationality. Irrational thoughts... Fear of irrational things... And if you get them you are assuming they are exactly the same for everyone. I've been there with the anxiety and panic attacks. I agree, they definitely do a number on you. Do you have a friend or family member you are close with? If/When these things happen, you can call them and have them help calm you down. That way in the future, you are already in a routine to call them instead of instantly reacting and sending a text message to whomever about whatever, especially if it is a situation like this again.
Gaeta Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) OP, not sure why you're posting on here. * You say things than change your mind and say it's not what you meant * You don't give us a full picture but don't want us to assume anything either * You try to convince us you are fully balanced so nothing of that is your doing, not even partially. Sorry, we are ALL dysfunctional to a certain point. No one is fully balanced and the mere fact you cannot recognize that you may have a responsibility in this is far from confirming you're 'balanced'. * You accuse us of not understanding what anxiety is as if it's the first time we read a story involving anxiety. Half of the crowd here suffers from anxiety they understand it pretty well. So from here I have no clue what you were expecting from us. Some of us are long time members, we read stories like yours every day, we're also long time daters and have seen your story more than once. We have a responsibility in everything that we attract into our life is something I want you to reflect on. Edited January 17, 2017 by Gaeta 2
Versacehottie Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) We HAVE talked about this. I've told him exactly how I feel about it all. I told him I did not want to continue on seeing him further if he was still going on there. From the very beginning we've discussed how we are in dating and what we want. And he said he would take it down if I asked him to. I didn't take that as a offer. Huh???? I find that you make things WAY more confusing than they need to be. I think that fuels your anxiety in part too. You are so trying to calculate everything behind the scenes and the snooping rather than just come right out and say & STICK to what you want. You really can't have it both ways. You can do your best but after that you need to face facts and not stick your head in the sand and ignore what was going on. "i told him how I feel" and the end point is that you didn't want to keep seeing him if he's on there. So simple--don't keep seeing him. He offered to take it down if you asked him to--i agree that sounds like a half-assed offer, but why not get some clarification before you ASSUME that it is. You don't just move on from the conversation leaving it there like it never happened. You are denying yourself your true wants and needs and trying to pretend like you are ok with things when you are not. That is bound to cause a lot of anxiety. So the truth is that you half talked about it. You weren't honest 100% or are not sticking with what you conveyed to him if you were clear (i'm finding that hard to believe to be honest, since it hasn't come out until page 4 that you said you wouldn't want to date him if he's still on there--in your original post you sounded pretty clear to us to say that he could take it down when he was ready--these are two very different things). Needless to say, you can make things clear and bring back up the discussion. I think you are jumping through all these unnecessary hoops because you fear (which is also causing the anxiety) that you won't get a direct "yes I want to be with you from him". I think the uncertainty is causing more harm than good at this point and your body is telling you need an answer. So get it. Even if it's no, or you find he is still telling you one thing but doing another, you will have your answers to move on. It's really not as complicated as you are making it. I also think the panic attack thing is a cop out. Making him pity you or feel sorry for you or using it as an excuse for your bad behavior is not an excuse nor is it the way to attract a guy. Aspbergers is a more genuine reason for the stuff going on with you, it seems in that your communication is less than stellar. It's still probably not going to fly with him as an excuse. There are a LOT of excuses in your post explaining lashing out during a panic attack. None of it addresses your problem with this guy--bottom line, not an excuse. (maybe you are just not ready to be in relationship then) General anxiety is really what seems to REALLY be going on with all of your over thinking plus the very real fact that you may be trying to hang onto something with him that is just not going to work out (which a part of you knows). Stop using it as an excuse and reason and just do something about it. Speak up, state your intentions and wants CLEARLY. Keep it really simple. Edited January 17, 2017 by Versacehottie 1
introverted1 Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Doesn't seem like you know much about panic attacks. They absolutely can and do cause irrationality. Irrational thoughts... Fear of irrational things... And if you get them you are assuming they are exactly the same for everyone. BTW I didn't 'lash out' like maybe you are thinking. I really shouldn't have said it that way because my text to him really wasn't angry at all. Just upset. Talking about how I felt about the situation, the issue I had with all of this and why and just reaffirming a bit of what I already told him I wanted. Actually I read it back and no I definitely wasn't lashing out at all. Sometimes I don't word things right. I should not have said that. I just sent him this long, kind of emotional (but not angry!) text... I guess to ME that kind of feels like 'lashing out' but in a very different way than the angry type. An INFJ lashing out! Haha if you don't know anything about INFJs that won't make ANY sense to you. And even if you do that probably still won't! No I'm actually a very calm person. Too calm at times, as I've been told. See when I talk about anxiety people get these ideas of someone being all uppity and what not... Haha. NO. You see if you knew me and talked to me in person you would never guess I had any issues with anxiety. In fact I've told people who have known me for years and they were downright shocked. Therapy is expensive. I've asked my doctor before to refer to me to someone but that didn't really work for me. As in he didn't think I needed therapy at all. Thought I was far too well adjusted. Like I said you would never guess... And a professional himself didn't think there was any issue. And I'm like allergic to drugs or something. I've thought about meditation. Yoga... But I'm not into yoga. OP, you're the one who said you "went off on him over text" as a result of a "panic attack." People having a panic attack are typically NOT texting! Perhaps you meant to say that you were anxious rather than having a panic attack. Panic Attack Symptoms: Shortness of Breath, Racing Heart, & More Agree with Gaeta that your habit of presenting something, then back-pedaling, is not conducive to a productive exchange. Best wishes to you. 3
Versacehottie Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 OP, not sure why you're posting on here. * You say things than change your mind and say it's not what you meant * You don't give us a full picture but don't want us to assume anything either * You try to convince us you are fully balanced so nothing of that is your doing, not even partially. Sorry, we are ALL dysfunctional to a certain point. No one is fully balanced and the mere fact you cannot recognize that you may have a responsibility in this is far from confirming you're 'balanced'. We have a responsibility in everything that we attract into our life is something I want you to reflect on. Great points. Take responsibility, OP. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Stop looking for excuses and look for solutions instead. Your desire to potentially confess is just another "excuse" really--you seem like you just keep trying to justify where you are emotionally and your actions with all this "stuff". Bypass that and tell this guy what you really want at this point. If he has a problem with your behavior (i expect he does), he will bring it up if he is still talking to you. Is he? A girl that knows what she wants and is clear about it is pretty attractive to a guy. If he's playing you, he likely knows it and is using it to his advantage that you are accepting of it. If you told him that you wouldn't date a guy who was still online and are still dating a guy who is still online & he knows you know via the "friend", then he is just doing all he can to get away with what he can. He doesn't even have to try that hard because you are not following through with what you said. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 OP, you're all over the map. You psychically know he's not cheating, yet you feel the need to check up on him to see if he's seeking other women. (???) Everything "else" is GREAT! (in all caps)...except, well, the anxiety attacks, snooping, lying and him refusing to do what you told him he didn't have to do but you actually want him to do...Meanwhile, you "were clear" on what you "want" yet you didn't say you didn't want him to take his profile down, even though you really do... (??????) I think you need to be honest with yourself. You KNOW you want him to be exclusive AND you know you don't trust him, psychic flashes notwithstanding. You are literally having anxiety attacks over this issue (I don't really buy that those are just a jones from stopping sleep medication some time ago). You KNOW you want him to act the way you want him to act BUT you refuse to "tell" him to...yet you also know that his "out" is that you won't "tell" him what to do and you also know he obviously wants to keep seeing other women. You want to figure out a way to control him and change him without seeming like you're controlling or changing him. You can't. He devised the "I'll take the profile down if you want me to/ask me to" thing just to put that in your corner, so that if (actually, when) he wanted to seek out other women at the same time his excuse could be that you liked to tell him what to do and you were trying to box him in and he was just rebelling. It's obvious that's an M.O. and game-playing since he does like game-playing (like claiming he was "testing" you, OMG! Holy hell, that one takes the cake!) once caught...but then again, you're game-playing too with your claims that you would never stalk, you just happened to get a psychic flash...OP, come on...be real. Be honest. This guy isn't for you. He isn't going to act the way you want him to act and you both feel compelled to play games and you both feel compelled to flat-out lie, AND you're literally having anxiety attacks. This can't be good. Face facts. Move on. And address the anxiety, period. 2
vampirebrat Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 Funny thing is when I'm with it just feels 'right' and I don't worry. But after we spend a bit of time apart (we have both been really lately) I start to get worried about stuff. Just because it feels right doesn't mean the guy isn't a total bellend. Also, I have to wonder. Are you with him because you like him or because of the way he makes you feel? They sound similar, but trust me, they're two very different things. As for the profile situation. I think your anxiety is causing you to greenlight things you're not comfortable with. Someone else has probably already said that, but I'm not 100% today so probably missed it. I won't tell you what to do. But I have to ask, is he worth all this aggro? 1
LivingDeadGrl Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 I'm not really understanding why you're here. Sounds like all you want to do is make excuses for his behavior or explain why your own behavior lead to his behavior. If he was that into you, there wouldn't be a dating site profile anymore. Period. Especially if he knows (now) it bothers you. If you're not exclusive yet then he has every right to still have the dating profile but to me that is still shady after 1.5 months of dating. It is too early for all of this drama. He's just not that into you girl. Find someone that is.
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) Just because it feels right doesn't mean the guy isn't a total bellend. Also, I have to wonder. Are you with him because you like him or because of the way he makes you feel? They sound similar, but trust me, they're two very different things. As for the profile situation. I think your anxiety is causing you to greenlight things you're not comfortable with. Someone else has probably already said that, but I'm not 100% today so probably missed it. I won't tell you what to do. But I have to ask, is he worth all this aggro? No I actually like him for him... Like I said I read his profile and said "This is the guy I want"... I've really liked our conversations and other things about him. But I 'meditated' on it and cleared my head a bit. I've decided to give him the boot. His words aren't matching his actions at all and that isn't the type of person I want to be with. He claims to be very upfront and honest but he's obviously not. I mean it feels good when I'm with him but I'm a nervous wreck any time something like this happens. I know there is a reason for it. I've gotten these feelings before and it didn't turn out well. And if every single person I talk about with this has the same reaction that isn't good. Edited January 17, 2017 by Nyx001
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 Meanwhile, you "were clear" on what you "want" yet you didn't say you didn't want him to take his profile down, even though you really do... (??????) I think you need to be honest with yourself. You KNOW you want him to be exclusive AND you know you don't trust him, psychic flashes notwithstanding. You are literally having anxiety attacks over this issue (I don't really buy that those are just a jones from stopping sleep medication some time ago). You KNOW you want him to act the way you want him to act BUT you refuse to "tell" him to...yet you also know that his "out" is that you won't "tell" him what to do and you also know he obviously wants to keep seeing other women. You want to figure out a way to control him and change him without seeming like you're controlling or changing him. You can't. He devised the "I'll take the profile down if you want me to/ask me to" thing just to put that in your corner, so that if (actually, when) he wanted to seek out other women at the same time his excuse could be that you liked to tell him what to do and you were trying to box him in and he was just rebelling. It's obvious that's an M.O. and game-playing since he does like game-playing (like claiming he was "testing" you, OMG! Holy hell, that one takes the cake!) once caught...but then again, you're game-playing too with your claims that you would never stalk, you just happened to get a psychic flash...OP, come on...be real. Be honest. This guy isn't for you. He isn't going to act the way you want him to act and you both feel compelled to play games and you both feel compelled to flat-out lie, AND you're literally having anxiety attacks. This can't be good. Face facts. Move on. And address the anxiety, period. I told him if he wanted to continue seeing me I was not ok with the pof. Umm you don't know wtf is going on with the medication. I'm tapering off and I still have withdrawal effects if I accidentally miss a dose. Look up 'withdrawal syndrome'. It's very hard and can last fora long time. I AM being real and honest. I know people don't believe that but it's the truth. Just because you aren't like me and you don't understand certain things that doesn't mean they aren't true for me. I'm not interested in controlling or changing anyone. If I were I would have asked him to take his profile down a long time ago. I truly believe you can only control YOURSELF. You can tell someone how you feel about something and what you want but in the end they have to make their own decisions. He obviously is making his.
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 A guy who knows his mind will either do this off his own bat without you having to ask, because he likes you enough to do that and he knows that's what you would like (because you already discussed it, right?), or he will tell you straight up he is not prepared to do anything about it because he hasn't yet made his mind up about you, therefore leaving you in limbo. I do get the INFJ/Asperger's combo and how hard it is to find someone you connect with, really I do, but what you (and the rest of the world) need is a straightforward guy who won't leave you in limbo, 'test' you or get you to make decisions so he doesn't have to. So your options are 1. You straight up ask him to take his profile down, which will set a precedent (you're in charge) and cause potential issues seeing as he's already been playing with the truth in that area. 2. You wait for him to make his mind up, however long that takes, but then you stop checking on his profile thing and accept that he is still looking around. 3. You call it quits on the grounds that you are not a good match. THANK YOU. Some people don't seem that I wanted him to make his own decisions on his own time and that is why I didn't say yes when he asked me after only a few dates. Because I didn't feel it was REALLY genuine. I'm going with option 3. See Option 2 would have been ok IF he wasn't playing these games. "Oh I don't need pof. I took it down. Oh it's back up? Oh umm it's because you were distant... I really like you. You're great. You found me?! I was testing you! I'm not even looking at other girls!" 1
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) OP, you're the one who said you "went off on him over text" as a result of a "panic attack." People having a panic attack are typically NOT texting! Perhaps you meant to say that you were anxious rather than having a panic attack. Panic Attack Symptoms: Shortness of Breath, Racing Heart, & More Agree with Gaeta that your habit of presenting something, then back-pedaling, is not conducive to a productive exchange. Best wishes to you. No no it was a definite panic attack. BELIEVE ME I know what they are. I didn't text him IMMEDIATELY during it FYI. Yeah maybe I should have said I was in the 'anxious residual state' that follows and lingers afterwards... I mean I was trying to keep my post as short as possible and now I'm having to explain **** over and over.... Edited January 17, 2017 by Nyx001
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 but you said you felt him becoming distant which probably wasn't just in your head. I did? Where?
Author Nyx001 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) That is not how to put it in your original post. You said he ASKED you a direct question: if you wanted him to take his profile down. If you answer no than it cancels anything you may have said on the subject previously to that. This is what I said: "During our second (or third?) date he told me he would take it down if I asked him." IF I ASKED HIM. This is not the same as "Do you want me to take it down?" This came from a conversation where I said that I didn't want to get too involved with someone who was still going on there browsing. That I found that stuff to be shady. It's not my style of dating. Then he said "I would take it down right now if you asked me". I don't really find that to be a genuine offer. Like yeah I may do it IF you ask me to.. but that doesn't mean I REALLY want to... I'll just hide my profile so you can't see it but I'll still browse and message other girls... Haha right. I mean at the time, in the moment, I thought it was kind of sweet but I wanted it to be more 'real'. His own decision... And now after thinking about it, it's like WTF? That's kind of weird. I went and took down my online profile ON MY OWN. Without him prompting me to do it. That's the way it should be. And funny thing is that he commented on that during our next date, which happened like the day after I took it down. Saying he really liked that I did that. I hadn't even told him I did it... So maybe he was checking up on me? Oh and another time I went to a movie with a friend and when I saw him a few days later he asked me about it. But the way he asked me was like... seemed like he was trying to fish for details. See if it was a date. That 'questioning tone'. That 'look'. You all know what I mean right? You can FEEL their suspicion... Made me feel uneasy. He seems to have this whole thing about being 'trustworthy' and 'genuine' and that people should just take his word because he is such a great guy but I think he has his own trust issues himself. Maybe because he's really not trustworthy himself. Edited January 17, 2017 by Nyx001
Gaeta Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 This is what I said: "During our second (or third?) date he told me he would take it down if I asked him." IF I ASKED HIM. This is not the same as "Do you want me to take it down?" This came from a conversation where I said that I didn't want to get too involved with someone who was still going on there browsing. That I found that stuff to be shady. It's not my style of dating. Then he said "I would take it down right now if you asked me". I don't really find that to be a genuine offer. This is all semantic. He was offering you to take it down, he just did not verbalized it perfectly as you would have liked but he was offering you to take it down. 2
Versacehottie Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) I'm not interested in controlling or changing anyone. Listen, I'm not trying to start anything with you when you just came here for advice--but may I refer you to your original post? In your OP, you even spelled out how and under which circumstances you wanted advice. I think you talk out of both sides of your mouth--probably you don't really realize it because you defend every little thing so vigorously. No one thinks your an idiot or have handled things wrong solely on your own to get to this point. But that won't stop people who are reading what you say here to take the ENTIRE situation as explained by you and give their opinion and advice--you can't really control how they do it. I know some of it can be hard to hear so on some levels I understand the defensiveness. I do have to say typically when a post specifies how they want advice to roll in and "no comments such as>>>" a barge of defense replies from the OP follows. You won't be able to control what people are thinking about your situation and the advice they give. I'm glad you came to the conclusion you did for YOUR sake. I guess you can believe you got there however you wanted, which is your prerogative. It doesn't really mean the others advice is wrong since 99% of us, like your friends, have come to the same conclusion. We all see things through our own eyes and point of reference--and there is validity which instead of combating you might try some gratefulness (goes hand in hand with meditation btw) even if you don't agree or can't wrap your head around it at this point. Ultimately, you've come to the same conclusion that most of us did--you need to dump this guy. I think it would help to be clear and take some responsibility and an added note with your last post is that it won't serve you to think in absolutes. It will be better to speak up--not everyone processes information the same (in reference to if my bf wanted to do x, he'd do y) just because that is the way you process it. Best of luck with new guys. Edited January 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs 1
Miss Spider Posted January 17, 2017 Posted January 17, 2017 My apologies. I just inferred that by you saying you felt something was "off" and him not responding quickly to your texts. You never said that. I get you like this guy, but he's shady af. The things he's done and said are indicators of game playing. Combine that with anxiety you already have and I don't see this going down well, but people are gonna do what they want to do. You could have asked him but you wanted him to make the decision on his own. His decision is to keep it up. That's what he wants to do. Don't bring up him being on POF or you're just going to scare him off. You're way too invested in this for what it is...You're putting relationship stipulations on a guy you're beginning to date. He's not committed to this enough yet. When and if becomes so, he'll voluntarily take it down, then you can say "I was freaking out about you being on there when we started dating" and laugh about it
Author Nyx001 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Posted January 18, 2017 Listen, I'm not trying to start anything with you when you just came here for advice--but may I refer you to your original post? In your OP, you even spelled out how and under which circumstances you wanted advice. I think you talk out of both sides of your mouth--probably you don't really realize it because you defend every little thing so vigorously. No one thinks your an idiot or have handled things wrong solely on your own to get to this point. But that won't stop people who are reading what you say here to take the ENTIRE situation as explained by you and give their opinion and advice--you can't really control how they do it. I know some of it can be hard to hear so on some levels I understand the defensiveness. I do have to say typically when a post specifies how they want advice to roll in and "no comments such as>>>" a barge of defense replies from the OP follows. You won't be able to control what people are thinking about your situation and the advice they give. I'm glad you came to the conclusion you did for YOUR sake. I guess you can believe you got there however you wanted, which is your prerogative. It doesn't really mean the others advice is wrong since 99% of us, like your friends, have come to the same conclusion. We all see things through our own eyes and point of reference--and there is validity which instead of combating you might try some gratefulness (goes hand in hand with meditation btw) even if you don't agree or can't wrap your head around it at this point. Ultimately, you've come to the same conclusion that most of us did--you need to dump this guy. I think it would help to be clear and take some responsibility and an added note with your last post is that it won't serve you to think in absolutes. It will be better to speak up--not everyone processes information the same (in reference to if my bf wanted to do x, he'd do y) just because that is the way you process it. Best of luck with new guys. Thank you. No I understand what you are saying. I don't blame anyone, just got a bit annoyed. I got defensive because I was looking for a reason to stay with him. Also some of the things I said were taken out of context or not believed which annoyed me. But you're right people can think what they want... The thing is. Being how I am, it can make dating very difficult. Us INFJs can get pretty 'intense' at times and when we meet someone we really like we tend to zone in on that person and give them so much of our energy. We feel so much that it can be painful. My feelings often manifest in a very physical ways. We are 'perpetually giving' in a way that can hurt us. So to avoid past mistakes and getting hurt or scaring people off with our 'intensity' we may need to 'close up' a bit. Even if it doesn't reflect our REAL feelings. This comes off as insecure and not genuine to other people. 2
Author Nyx001 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Posted January 18, 2017 (edited) This is all semantic. He was offering you to take it down, he just did not verbalized it perfectly as you would have liked but he was offering you to take it down. Haha ok. You're right. You didn't take my words out of context AT ALL. I'm the one that wrote them and knew what I meant. I was the one that was there and who is in this situation. Not you. But sure ok You can gave your little sense of satisfaction if that means so much to you. Take care hun. Edited January 18, 2017 by Nyx001
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 THANK YOU. Some people don't seem that I wanted him to make his own decisions on his own time and that is why I didn't say yes when he asked me after only a few dates. Because I didn't feel it was REALLY genuine. I'm going with option 3. See Option 2 would have been ok IF he wasn't playing these games. "Oh I don't need pof. I took it down. Oh it's back up? Oh umm it's because you were distant... I really like you. You're great. You found me?! I was testing you! I'm not even looking at other girls!" Yes, just ending it at this point is probably the best thing.
Author Nyx001 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Posted January 18, 2017 WELL I did it. Told him that I was having too much anxiety and that I wish him all the best and hopes he finds 'the one'. I didn't talk about my feelings or bitch about whatever issues there were. Or what a jerk he was being. I mean I could go on and on about crap but it would probably be like talking to a brick wall. Which would just stress me out even more. Just "Have a nice one" and that's it. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 WELL I did it. Told him that I was having too much anxiety and that I wish him all the best and hopes he finds 'the one'. I didn't talk about my feelings or bitch about whatever issues there were. Or what a jerk he was being. I mean I could go on and on about crap but it would probably be like talking to a brick wall. Which would just stress me out even more. Just "Have a nice one" and that's it. Good for you - the more you'll listen to your instinct, the less anxious you'll become, so really win all round!
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