athomas Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 ok, my story, youve probably heard it 5 billion times but whatever... i was talking to this girl for maybe 2 weeks, at least 4 hours a day, sometimes up around 8 or 9 hours a day. We REALLY CLICKED i mean everything in common, perfect all i wanted etc you get the idea. so we started dating we were pretty close, but then she said she cant continue the relationship cuz shes going away to college. the thing is i disagreed by saying that she is coming back at least once a month for a few days, and also my parents right after being married didn't see see eachother for a year since my dad was stationed in korea for military reasons. so what I am asking is what do i do to get her off my mind. i cant stop thinking about her and its driving me nuts. its been around a month since we broke up and i tried dating other people but since i keep thinking of her nothing is working. everything reminds me of her, and i'm really getting frusturated at myself and frusturated that i can't start a new relationship, or even have a good date with anybody anymore. please i need help, really bad
Zaira Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Keep in contact with her. It doesn't have to be a LDR but at least you'll be communicating.
IfiKnewThen Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 i just want you to know youre not alone . i feel the same way too . constantly thinking of that person that was in my life. and i am real tired of it too. i will be looking on here with you to see what others say about getting someone out of your head. i went away on trips, read uplifting things, prayed, did NC, (then they contacted me)...now i am trying to start all over again, they are engaged to me married. but you are young and i do believe there is the hope that you can possibly still end up togehter after she gets out of college or when she comes home like you said..so i wouldnt give up now if i were you, but thats me. give yourself a deadline..figure out how long you are willing wait and work for results of some kind. be her friend meanwhile. (but this takes patience and not letting it get the best of you) and then stick to that termination point that you set, where you will wait no more. only you can figure out the ending point of waiting, but figure it out from the beginning. in the meantime...keep in touch like Zaira says. good advise i think. if you dont see something developing SLOWLY and GRADUALLY over time...then do NC and walk away from the mental attachement by constantly redirecting your thoughts. because what you think is how you feel. and if you have to think of her give it one hour a day tops and get busy with anything you can. that's honestly all i can think of. hope i see more posts here. with more sugestions.
Author athomas Posted July 22, 2005 Author Posted July 22, 2005 should i tell her how i feel? shes on vacation right now, but when she comes back maybe i can say "oh i missed you" or something and then tell her how i really feel and see if she's willing to work with me.
whichwayisup Posted July 22, 2005 Posted July 22, 2005 Be honest with her, tell her how you feel. Don't play games. Either way, you'll get some answers. I think not knowing is making it worse for you.
Author athomas Posted July 23, 2005 Author Posted July 23, 2005 hmm I talked to her about 10 minutes ago, these a few quotes from her: Me: serioiusly i cant help it but i keep thinking about you... idk why Her: Well don't its getting annoying Me: Well I'm sorry Her: Seriously its like obsessive and its getting on my nerves yep that did a world of good, made me feel worse. just thought i'd share that for everybody.
IfiKnewThen Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 athomas i am sorry you had that kind of reaction from her. but not all is lost yet. probably if you didnt tell her those things, someday she would miss hearing them. i would still be nice to her...NEVER too much or overly so. this is still a new relationship..sounds like you dint date her long at all. so maybe she just wanted to take it light and keep herself open for college. just be friends while shes away. dont tell her how much you miss her. just try to live a life so that when you talk with her you have something to say and it sounds inviting. and always listen to a woman yap. we do like that. and if that doesnt get soemthing started then put a halt to trying . at least for awhile. but i am a firm believer that if you want something, you have to do things (within reason and safety) to get those things. so be gentle..take your time. try to concentrate on other things to now get obbsessed. just offer your friendship and let her make the attachment to you..(because she appreciates that friendhip).and then live while you wait. dont wait to live. i hope that works
Author athomas Posted July 24, 2005 Author Posted July 24, 2005 thanks for the reply but read this, i had this convo with her earlier, almost right after the last one i posted Me: im sry you think im obsessive or w/e... but im not Her: um ur sayin u still like me Her: wtf Her: that is def obsessive Her: we hardly did anything Her: its not like we were together for a year Me: obsessive, in my terms anyway, is stalking you or calling you 24/7 Her: whatever it both is Her: and thats my terms Me: yeah but like i guess im a sucker for ppl that make me feel like somebody i mean i never heard anybody say stuff like that to me is all Her: well get over it Her: bye Me: im sorry jesus i was saying how i feel cuz it was bothering me Me: its annoying me too that was the last convo i had with her up to now. IMO she seems like a b*tch now
IfiKnewThen Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 yes she sounds like she is being a bit insensitive and hurtful. but maybe in her MIND she feels crowded, from someone she doesnt know too well. now i would probably do NC for a few weeks. and see what happens. dont call. dont write. that doesnt mean you are giving up. you can still try without trying. do you know what i mean? by giving her her space and not contacting her to test how she reacts to that ..is in a sense still doing something! so dont feel like you are doing nothing. she could possibly be immature or just scared or whatever. and by the way she is responding..she may not really be for you at all. it just seemed like that in the beginning. its unfortuately been my experience when someone acts like this, they may have met someone else they are into now. but seeing as she is going to college i am sure she wont want to be tied down to anyone right now. so just give it a couple of weeks (2) of NC. i hope that works for you. always keep a cool head, and have some faith in yourself to get through this and possibly get beyond it and find someone who you compliment and who copliments your personality. be strong and patient. : ) you can do it. dont let her fears and rejetion get the best of you. it may not have anything to do with you at all. if you know you are approaching her moderately....then you know NC is all you can really do for now.
mustangsally Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 yeah leave her alone. she might just feel crowded. I've give her time and space, but not forever.
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