LoveNoLoss Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Hey all, My husband who had seven affairs in our 8 year marriage said he was able to compartmentalize his affairs. He said he would shove his guilt aside. He said it was there but he was able to shove it away in order to keep his ego stroked and validated. He had bilateral affairs many times over. He also cheated on his first wife. He said the love he had for me was always there but he shoved that away too so that he was able to have these affairs. He said it was all about self esteem and even though I gave him enough love and so forth, he was a black hole and I couldn't have done anything to make him NOT cheat. When I had my affair, I felt ill and threw up at times due to my guilt. I could barely function hence my confession to him. So my question is, how do people shove stuff aside for years and years... in other words, how do they sleep at night?
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by LoveNoLoss So my question is, how do people shove stuff aside for years and years... in other words, how do they sleep at night? Divorce and find someone else... 9 affairs between the 2 of you and your still married ...Wow !! You guys must have something going on to still be together .. Each of you has to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.. Your Hubby uses detachment.. It's a learned response to not being happy.
Author LoveNoLoss Posted July 21, 2005 Author Posted July 21, 2005 Me guilt? It's hard to feel bad when you pricked someone with a pin and they shot your head off...
stressedout58 Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 So when is the divorce going to be finalized so that the two of you can move on with your lives?
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