kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 So I have a puppy (and two kittens, yes it's a bloody zoo ha). The kittens are cool if I didn't come home they would probably invite the neighbours over for a party. The puppy is 8 months old now (I got her at 6 months) and she's a super nervous dog. She's actually had to go on doggy Prozac for a bit. I started dating a new guy, just been for a few casual dates. I guess if it heads that way he would always have to stay at mine when we slept over... Seems abit one sided And inconvenient for the guy. Anyone more experienced at having a dog got any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Lol. At first I thought the title was ' dating a puppy' ! Does the guy like dogs and cats ? If yes, he will be fine. What I'm more concerned is why are you considering having the guy over every time at your place and that too after few casual dates ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Not sure if getting a puppy and two kittens was the best move when you are not settled and are dating. It is almost guaranteed that the guy you really like will hate your menagerie... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Hey thanks for the reply. Yeah I'm more just thinking ahead about how this would actually work logistically (with him or someone else in the future). Not planning on having him over to stay any time soon, And I doubt he is thinking that way either. He does like cats and dogs. Just seems a bit crap to always have to stay at one person's house (especially when it's me asking them to do it). Glad you don't think it'd be an issue Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Not sure if getting a puppy and two kittens was the best move when you are not settled and are dating. It is almost guaranteed that the guy you really like will hate your menagerie... Well I want cats and a dog, so any guy who doesn't like them isn't the right guy for me anyway... I don't think that's really a bit issue, itts just more self selecting. I also have a picture of the 3 of them on my profile so it's not like a surprise I spring on them. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Lol. At first I thought the title was ' dating a puppy' ! Haha that would be quite a different thread... Happy it not the case or I'd need a lot more help haha Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 This is the reason why I am really baffled at many pet owners. Drugging up a 8-month old puppy for being skittish....ack. It's no wonder....lock up a baby animal who needs comforting, reassurance and room to explore and you get nervous dogs. I really believe you ought to wait until your puppie is comfortable enough to be cooped up in your apartment w/o freaking out. That would be the responsible thing to do. Having guys always come to your place just doesn't sound smart. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I don't think it's a big deal. Weekends away and such may be difficult until you are comfortable with a pet sitter or kenneling. My two pups were 2 when I started dating and G. adjusted, he stirs them up actually. A compatible dude will roll with it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I don't think it's a big deal. Weekends away and such may be difficult until you are comfortable with a pet sitter or kenneling. My two pups were 2 when I started dating and G. adjusted, he stirs them up actually. A compatible dude will roll with it. HUGE difference between 2-yrs old and 8-months. Your dogs seemed to have adjusted, but OP's is already drugging up an 8-month old puppy locked up in an apartment by itself. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 HUGE difference between 2-yrs old and 8-months. Your dogs seemed to have adjusted, but OP's is already drugging up an 8-month old puppy locked up in an apartment by itself. Actually not by itself....with two cats! Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 My boyfriend has a 7-year old dog and we spend most of our time at his place. Not that Imind much since he is closet to my work haha! Could you bring the puppy to his place? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Dogs aren't naturally nervous. It's usually their environment that makes them nervous. You should make the well-being of the dog a priority. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Before drugging your puppy did you try exercising him? When you get a puppy you have to accept it means weeks of being home with it and devoting all of your time to training it and building a solid bond between you. You don't go to work all day then leave him alone at night to go on dates. If it's the life of your puppy please re-home him in a family with kids where he'll have company all evenings and nights. Owning a dog is nothing like owning a cat. That being said I am a dog owner and that little rascal you see there will be 10 in a couple of months. I did online dating and I always mentioned in my profile I was a dog owner. I also talk about it on first date. Because I am a dog owner I need to be home at night and if a man wish me to spend the night at his I need to bring my dog along. It also means if we go away on weekends I need time to find a dog sitter, if we leave for a week or more it's more planning or we need to bring him along. Not all men are willing to limit their freedom because of a dog. What type of dog you got? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 HUGE difference between 2-yrs old and 8-months. Your dogs seemed to have adjusted, but OP's is already drugging up an 8-month old puppy locked up in an apartment by itself. I guess kassy would need to elaborate about 'doggy prozac for a bit.' Was this a rescue pup? Did the vet suggest and why? Eight months is different than two years, by some degree. They're both crazy kooks to this day and we love it. Every dog has it's own personality. As far as dating goes, pets have to be a consideration, period. If a bf isn't compassionate...next. It's a good weeding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 you can leave cats by themselves overnight. Just leave enough food and water, and a clean catbox. Bring the puppy with you maybe...make sure she has her dog carrier with some towels or a dogbed in it. Cover with a towel at night when it's bedtime. During the day, use child safety gate to block her in a bathroom or kitchen area. Leave her bed and food water dishes near the bed. She'll be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 My opinion is puppies shouldn't be on prozac. Their brains are still developing. All puppies are completely insane, and that's just the way it is. It's why I only adopt adult dogs. Your puppy needs the basics in training and attention, and you can get a long way with this one simple rule: When the puppy is being friendly in a calm way or quiet and just calm, that's when you give them pats and love. Don't reward bad behavior -- but neither should you use any physical discipline because dogs can't understand that and it will destroy their trust. A low and calm "no" when they're about to get into something. Don't pick them up to keep them from freaking out because that only gives them power and rewards bad behavior. If the dog is just very timid and scared, you will need to be extra calm yourself and never scare it and it takes time to build that kind of trust. If you don't act nervous when people are around, your dog is less likely to be nervous. Watch some episodes of Dog Whisperer for a lot of good advice on dogs. Cesar believes dogs simply pick up OUR energy. So if your dog is super nervous, it's probably because you are super nervous. So maybe you're the one who needs to be on Prozac. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Treat them like your kids and get a babysitter. As for the puppy, I recommend you socialize the dog by exposing the dog to people and other dogs at a dog park. It's a great way to make new friends. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Not sure if getting a puppy and two kittens was the best move when you are not settled and are dating. It is almost guaranteed that the guy you really like will hate your menagerie... Why would you say that? My GF has two cats and two dogs...and I love them all. Plenty of us guys are pet people too. I had a few at a time myself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 (edited) Ok for those who have issues with the Prozac, so did I, but this wasn't optional. She is a mongrel rescue dog with issues, she is 20kg so picking her up for extended periods isn't an issue. We have worked with experienced dog trainers associated with the rescue shelter, now ongoing also with a dog behaviourist as her levels of anxiety is extreme whenever she leaves the house. I have discussed with both if it would be better for her (as much as it would break my heart) to rehome her and they have said no as she is actually really happy at home and she is making progress, slowly but surely. She is happy in the house and the desensitisation will have to be at her pace. She loves the beach and hiking, but it's an nightmare to get her there even though they are closee, due to her anxiety so we have to limit that for now as well to as much as she can handle. She has a experienced dog "walker" who comes and plays with her and does some dog puzzles and training stuff with her when I am at work to stimulate her and also using their brain tires out puppies nearly as much as exercise,aand also myy part time cleaner comes each day and now stays to play with her and loves her and the cats (and obviously I pay her to). She cuddles up and sleeps with the cats and they all play together, they really are a little trio. She spends no more than 2 hours in a row alone during the day on work days , and then she plays with the cats as they are best buddies. On weekends we go do an activity like hiking (but not too much she is still a puppy) and do training stuff from the mental and physical stimulation she sleeps a lot after that. I don't party, I don't date continuously. This is the first guy I have dated since I got her. I am moving apartments to a place that would (hopefully) be better for her as it has a huge roof and lots of other dogs so she can use that and have some buddies who maybe after a while she can use to help her walk down the roa d(I know the neighbours, they have a similar sized And aged puppy and we will try and get them to spend time together and use him as a tool for her to get confidence leaving the building. Believe me the dog is not neglected, she isn't even crated when she is alone she has the whole flat to play with the cats and also she has had all my time. We now have a plan and a routine which seems to work and showing gradual improvement. I don't date much, I only date guys I really think may have potential. And I don't drink or party so my nights out ...Yep they aren't llate. I've had a lot more dinners parties at mine since I have the dog(and she loves the attention thankfully). It's really just the staying over I hadn't worked out. I guess if it's the early days he could stay at mine and then the dog 'walker who stays when I'm away could stay over. I don't know why I didn't think of that when I'm away but not overseas. Anyway, didn't realise my dog was going to be of such concern to everyoene, and yes she is the sweetest dog, and as a bonus of all the training etc amazingly well behaved and trained. She loves other people and dogs ( as long as she isn't already terrified from the context) is great with kids and also cats obviously. She doesn't like poodles in dresses though haha if that's a long term dislike I'm ok with that. Edited January 15, 2017 by kassy Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Kassy: Thank you for saving the little one from a rescue and giving it a good loving home. It's nice to see you know what you're doing and your pup is followed by professionals. With a house full pets like you have you'll have no choice but to date an animal lover and I am sure he'll understand you and your animals are a package deal and it involves staying at your place most of the time. Personally I would not impose on your pup staying with you at someone else's place. My dog is an American spaniel, known for being anxious dogs, and to this day staying at someone else's house brings him too much anxiety and no one can sleep. He also can't handle kennels or staying at someone else place even if it's his favorite people. When I need to go away I have someone stay home with him. The only other place my dog will sleep at with me and not keep everyone up all night is at my parent's house. We succeeded at that over the years and it was worth the huge efforts. The thing is my parents are my parents forever so it was time and effort invested in something that would last my dog a life time. I don't think I would impose that on my dog for a boyfriend of 3-4 weeks. I'd wait to make sure I am in a solid relationship and BF is willing to do this as a team. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I wouldn't worry about it. Circumstances dictate. In my past two relationships, they stayed at mine all the time (like 100%). I live alone and neither of them did. One of them lived with someone who I had a history with and we did not get on so it was not appropriate and the other had the messiest housemate I've ever seen. I would not have liked staying there! So mine it was. Neither of them ever mentioned it being a problem. It meant my house got a bit messier and I cooked more but that was fine. I liked having my stuff around me and they didn't seem bothered. I also have a rabbit so couldn't be gone too long at any given time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackCherry Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Don't worry about it being imbalanced. I have never had a relationship where we've stayed at each other's places equally. In fact it has almost always been 100% (literally) at my place. Usually because I'm female and it requires a lot of stuff for me to get ready each day (makeup, toiletries, hairdryer and straightener, appropriately lit place to do makeup) and guys usually are good with a shower and brushing their teeth, so it makes more sense for the guy to stay with the girl than it does the girl trek all of her things back and forth to the guy's house every day. In my current R, I have the bigger nicer room (both house shares) and more importantly, an en-suite, so we always stay at mine. It'd be really awkward as a couple having to run to a shared bathroom full of boys for the post sex dash haha. So if things progress, I'm sure the right person will be happy to set up camp at yours for sleepovers, especially as you have no choice but to be there for the animals. The problems would begin if you date a guy who also has animals or a single parent with a child at home, who also has to be home a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 So interesting to hear others dating experiences. I've always had relationships where we have stayed fairly equally at both place, well since after college because there the guys had crap places and always wanted to stay at mine. Glad to hear it's not always that way, and some guys would be ok with the majority at mine. Real relief. I don't think taking her to another house is an option as she sleeps with the cats and I think all would be unsettled separated for a night, and thats even assuming we had her anxiety much much better which iss not realistic any time soon. Ok thanks for all the input, much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I am an animal lover, if a man tells me he has pets, its a plus to me! I think it shows their nurturing and loving sides. That being said, I hope your puppy is adjusting better. Remember that because of the anxiety the poor thing may not take easily to strangers. So introduce people slowly, and gently. The right person won't mind staying at your place because they will want to hang out with your puppy too, or they won't mind you bringing it over to their place for a night if needed. Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Thenicegirl Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 See if theres a doggie daycare nearby that also does boarding. If your puppy is up to date on shots and stuff it's a good way to socialize her and a good one will work with you on training and separation anxiety if she has any. Also, does she cry or bark at night? I see that being the biggest problem for someone you're dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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