5 years later

[olivos]

I was in a relationship from 14–22 with someone who I thought was my soul mate. We spent the entire of our teenage years together and grew up together. We ended on the worst terms – he cheated, was sorry, got back together, ended again because I started to hear stories again, it dragged out for about a year until he got with someone else (who he is still in a relationship with) and I moved to London. We havent spoken in 4 years, and probably never will. He’s from my home town (where he still lives) so the only time we ever cross paths is when Im home at Christmas, which I dread. Its weird because weve both changed so much and I dont know him at all anymore.

 

Im not in love with him anymore but I still think about him everyday. Ive put this down to the fact that he was such a massive part of my youth and home life, plus it was a traumatic experience. But its now 5 years later and I havent been with anyone serious since, is there something wrong with me? Ive seen people but nothing ever goes any further. I was in bits and had to pick myself up again, which I felt made me stronger but also feel like a part of me died after that relationship. Since then I find it really hard to be emotional about anything. Id love to be in a relationship again but no one ever seems to want me. Im an attractive, outgoing, friendly person and try to meet new people – but does the trauma of that relationship just linger with me or why havent I met someone else?

[Mrlonelyone]

But its now 5 years later and I havent been with anyone serious since, is there something wrong with me? Ive seen people but nothing ever goes any further. I was in bits and had to pick myself up again, which I felt made me stronger but also feel like a part of me died after that relationship. Since then I find it really hard to be emotional about anything. Id love to be in a relationship again but no one ever seems to want me. Im an attractive, outgoing, friendly person and try to meet new people – but does the trauma of that relationship just linger with me or why havent I met someone else?

 

Is it that you haven't felt anything for anyone new? Your only relationship ended in cheating. So yeah trauma can effect you. But you are only what 27-28. Your 20's are better spent dating and learning what you want in life as an adult. Don't worry for 3-5 more years pass.

 

I know it feels sucky to want a relationship but not have your own emotions allow it. Don't force it just let it happen when it happens.

[Superchicken]

is there something wrong with me?

 

Yes, there is something seriously wrong.

You are what we people call "Normal".

So for you to think differently, means your looney.

 

 

Geez, I still think about my first "Serious" girlfriend from many, many years ago.

 

 

Just please DONT hitch to the first guy that shows any interest.

He will most likely be a moron, as the odds are high these days.

 

 

However, I feel that your comparing, and that's a bad thing.

Everyone is different, and you need to find the balance of nice guy, idiot, and funny from each person, that works for you.

We all have these in our personalities, and i acknowledge that I'm an idiot at times (OK, mostly), but this is how and what makes a person.

Get the right mix for you, and go for it, when you find it.

 

 

Ted.