But I really like him...

[olivos]

I met this guy about 4 months ago, he was a friend of a friend, and as we had both just moved city and didnt know many people we quickly became good friends. About two months ago this turned into a romantic relationship and I totally fell for him. He’s unpredictable, totally all over the place but a very charismatic, funny and open person. We didnt talk about what we were doing but mutual friends of ours began to find out we were seeing each other and even though it was still very casual I had no idea where I stood with him. So last week I decided to have a conversation about what was going on, and he said he wanted to have this chat since we first got together but didnt know how to and was glad I brought it up.

 

He asked me what I thought and I told him I liked him but that I am also nervous about ruining our friendship but that I would be up for giving it a go. He said that although he likes me and is attracted to me he cant do anything serious and that maybe we should both take a step and think about how we both feel. He got really hurt in his last relationship of 6 years (ended 3 years ago) and says that although he would love to just say ‘yeah lets try it’ he just cant and is happier being alone concentrating on work.

 

But now Im totally confused. Does he like me or not? Am I just a friend? Can I get him to like me again? Ive taken a massive step back and barely contacted him over the last week (just because I needed a bit of space) but he’s contacted me loads. Im struggling with what to feel or what to do.

 

I also got really hurt from my last relationship (of 7 years) which he also knows a little about. Ive thought about telling him the whole story so that he actually gets just how much I understand the trauma of a break-up but am I better off just leaving this whole situation? Let him be?

[Miss Spider]

I met this guy about 4 months ago, he was a friend of a friend, and as we had both just moved city and didnt know many people we quickly became good friends. About two months ago this turned into a romantic relationship and I totally fell for him. He’s unpredictable, totally all over the place but a very charismatic, funny and open person. We didnt talk about what we were doing but mutual friends of ours began to find out we were seeing each other and even though it was still very casual I had no idea where I stood with him. So last week I decided to have a conversation about what was going on, and he said he wanted to have this chat since we first got together but didnt know how to and was glad I brought it up.

 

He asked me what I thought and I told him I liked him but that I am also nervous about ruining our friendship but that I would be up for giving it a go. He said that although he likes me and is attracted to me he cant do anything serious and that maybe we should both take a step and think about how we both feel. He got really hurt in his last relationship of 6 years (ended 3 years ago) and says that although he would love to just say ‘yeah lets try it’ he just cant and is happier being alone concentrating on work.

 

But now Im totally confused. Does he like me or not? Am I just a friend? Can I get him to like me again? Ive taken a massive step back and barely contacted him over the last week (just because I needed a bit of space) but he’s contacted me loads. Im struggling with what to feel or what to do.

 

I also got really hurt from my last relationship (of 7 years) which he also knows a little about. Ive thought about telling him the whole story so that he actually gets just how much I understand the trauma of a break-up but am I better off just leaving this whole situation? Let him be?

 

 

I'm sorry. I do not believe he is interested in a romantic relationship with you. I must give him props for telling you that he likes you and is attracted, but can't do anything serious and therefore you both should step back. He knows you were hurt before and probably does not want to hurt you again, so he was upfront with you. He didn't want to string you along. He seems like a good friend. The question is if you think you can handle being just friends with him now...

[kassy]

When someone says they don't want something serious it is best to believe them. If you do, then it's time to find someone else. Steer clear of him for a while, tell him you need to take some time out to move on as you want more from someone and being friends right now won't help you, but you appreciate his honesty and hope you can be friends later down the line

[mikeylo]

He has been upfront. Continuing to see him will not change his mind. Staying ' friends ' is not something I would ever suggest unless you'll be genuinely happy if he brings a girl around and introduces her to you as his girlfriend.

[BaileyB]

It sounds like he enjoys your company but he's not ready for a serious relationship.

 

Be warned, if you pursue this, it's very likely that you will get hurt. He doesn't sound like a healthy partner right now, in many ways. You don't really want to date someone who is unpredictable and all over the place. Nor do you want to get involved with someone who says, it's not going to happen, but then continues to text and seek you out? Don't accept this... You deserve more.

Edited January 15, 2017 by BaileyB