kjill Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 (edited) Ok so I met this guy through a mutual friend. There was an initial physical attraction right away. We danced the night out, flirted and chatted a bit. Not much since I'm not a chatty person especially in a crowd. And I was already drunk when I got there. �� We simply danced. I found him attractive straight out when I first saw him. Our friends noticed that he was attracted to me when he saw me, but they didn't notice that I was attracted to him too lol. Anyway, he seemed nice. Anyway, that was our first encounter. Probably a good 2-hr encounter and that's it. We all got drunk and went home. I met him again after a month in a friends 'get-together' night out. We chatted as group about random bs. We were talking about people that we liked in high school. When it came to him, not sure if he was actually describing the girl he liked back in middle school or simply making a stupid way to tell us that he likes me. All the physical description of the "girl" matches mine. And all our friends in the room were smiling and staring at me. Idk but I believed him that he was actually describing the girl in his high school lol. Anyway, we drank...danced thru the night, chatted a bit. Our chitchats are more like a "get to know" type of conversation. I learned some things about him,vice versa. We were so drunk that we ended up kissing. Night went great. He was too touchy feely. He asked me if I have plans the next day, I said no and I dont remember what happened next. All I can remember is I was too drunk. Minutes later, I remembered that I got back to my senses and felt embarrased that I madeout with him on the dance floor minutes before and I remembered that he was too touchy feely, nothing inappropriate though. I panicked(I know, how stupid) and started pushing him away. He kept asking me what happened, what did he do etc. And I couldnt give him a good answer and simply told him to stop asking me. We all went home. no, I didnt over react. I just know that if I was not drunk, I wouldnt reciprocate all his actions especially in a public setting. The following day, I contacted him via social media to apologize(I have my faults too). He said he's sorry to whatever he did blah blah blah. He was confused coz I suddenly went moody and pushed him away without a sane explanation. I didnt know how to express it the night before. I told him that I was sorry too and told him I was not comfortable of what had happened and I got scared of him. We're all good and so he said he was very happy hanging out with me and maybe we could hangout again soon, just us. I didnt know how to properly reply so I waited for a friend's reply. It took 8 hrs. So I only replied to him after 8 hrs. I said sure, just don't make me uncomfortable. I'm referring to sexual advances. He replied right away even I took 8 hrs to reply. He said sure, he wont do anything bad next tym. He was going out that time and asked me if I could join him but I was lazy and wanted to sleep. I knew there will be alcohol involved so I chose not to go. We exchanged gdnights and never heard from him again. Almost a week after, I decided to ask him out to hangout. Well, he responded right away even it was kinda late. he said he was about to sleep but he accepted my invite. It was random for me to do that. He said we should watch a movie. I said sure whatever. He said he will pick me up this particular time and told me when he left his house. He's a good 1-hr away from me. I appreciate that he was going to pick me up at my place. He was only 2 minutes late but he kept saying he was sorry for making me wait. I said it's fine hes just on time. When I got inside the car, he kept saying that he doesnt really go out during Winter and he was not sure about his outfit for the weather...I mean, he came so idk what he's talking about. And he looked nice. He was quite a gentleman throughout the night, well even before...he's just too touchy feely. When we were watching, well, he's obviously a touchy feely guy but he tried his best not to make me too uncomfortable with his touching. So he was simply holding my hand throughout the night. Touching my hair and face and that's it. Nothing inappropriate. We talked a little about our person stuffs, past adventures, whats new in our lives. Nothing inappropriate. The movie was great. He enjoyed it he said. He gave me a ride home. We chatted a bit inside. When we parked, he went out of his car right away to open mine...he didn't have to but I felt like a princess. When I got out, he said he want to see me again and I gave him a goodbye kiss. Ugh. He still has not asked for my number though. I sent him a message that same midnight to thank him blah blah and he said he gad a great time and I was great. I don't know if he was sarcastic though coz I didnt even do anything 'great' lol. Anyway, we chatted a bit, like funny random stuff. And exchanged "goodnights". Note that we were talking via social media! Not SMS! And again, haven't heard from him for 3 days. Should I forget about him? I dont want to initiate stuff once again though. I dont want to make a fool out of my self again. I did it before with another guy...we had a relationship. We were together for a year but it was horrible. That previous guy told me that he only dated and entered a relationship with me because I was into him and he never liked/loved me. It's been 3 yrs. I'm not doing the same thing now with this current dude. I wasnt really planning to get involved with anyone again, but I thought this guy was interested. Ugh. PS, I am not experienced so idk what I am doing. But I was told that if a guy is really interested, he would contact you, initiate plans, not string you along. No vague moments. No vague statements. This is also based on my past experience. Also his friend said he a nice guy but never really introduced a girl to them. But there is this girl who told me that he's a playboy and always flirts with everyone. dafuq? My ex was KINDA like this, thats why I dont believe in "shy guy" bs anymore. I'm in need of tips and tricks...maybe a sermon. I'm not too sure on how I behaved too before and during the hangout. But I have a gut feeling that this guy is no good in the long run...I had a gut feeling that my ex was no good but people said I was only overeacting...but turned out I was right although I chose to follow what they said. So I'm basically wondering if this guy is just plain uniterested...he wants to see me again? is he sure about that? I dont think so. We dont even talk...only when someone initiates or we seem each other in person on a group hangout. if uninterested or simply wants CASUAL, then I'll move on. I dont want to be wasting another year ☺ i feel i should move on but my friends are telling me otherwise...I need expert advise Edited January 15, 2017 by kjill
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 An interested man will act interested. He's lukewarm. I wouldn't reach out to him again; wait and see if he takes the initiative and asks you for your number and for a proper date. If you hear nothing next week, I would assume it wasn't a match for him and keep moving. 2
Miss Spider Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Yes he's lukewarm at best. Interested guy isn't going to sit back and wait until you ask to see him on social media. Listen to your friend who says he's a flirt who likes to spin plates. I would be more concerned about the over - drinking and doing things you wind up regretting...but that's not my place.
mikeylo Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Interested guys act interested. You can smell them right away. They don't leave anything to doubts. This guy is dropping hints and hoping you might catch.
Whodatdog Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 I must be missing something. What does he need your number for if you're messaging back and forth?
preraph Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 I think if he wanted a relationship rather than just someone to sleep with, he would be contacting you and taking you on proper dates and then continue to ask you out. Instead, he seems to be groping and hoping for quick sex. 2
smackie9 Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 If it doesn't feel right, then it's not.....listen to your gut this time.
Author kjill Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 I must be missing something. What does he need your number for if you're messaging back and forth? Nope, we are not messaging back and forth.
Author kjill Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 If it doesn't feel right, then it's not.....listen to your gut this time. Alright. I guess I should. Thanks.
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 STAY AWAY from this guy. He will only use you. 1
Author kjill Posted January 16, 2017 Author Posted January 16, 2017 STAY AWAY from this guy. He will only use you. Omg you're scary lol. But why did you say that? Also how would I know if someone legitly wants you? I have dated a guy before who seemed legitly caring, etc. Actions++ Words++ Everyone thought he's the man until we found out that's he's also in a relationship with another woman. Lol
Author kjill Posted January 16, 2017 Author Posted January 16, 2017 An interested man will act interested. He's lukewarm. I wouldn't reach out to him again; wait and see if he takes the initiative and asks you for your number and for a proper date. If you hear nothing next week, I would assume it wasn't a match for him and keep moving. Hi, how would I react to him if we meet again? We are likely to see each other again through some group hangouts with friends. What if he gets flirty again? Whats the best way to act/say?
winny Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 Omg you're scary lol. But why did you say that? Also how would I know if someone legitly wants you? I have dated a guy before who seemed legitly caring, etc. Actions++ Words++ Everyone thought he's the man until we found out that's he's also in a relationship with another woman. Lol I say that because, once a guy who I met thru friends acted same way with me and because my friends trusted him so I thought he is legit. But he was only interested in getting some physical pleasure... all this touching n all.... its creepy. We never had sex but he tried a lot. Also how would I know if someone legitly wants you? I wish I knew the answer to this question... LOL i am in same boat as you.
winny Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 Hi, how would I react to him if we meet again? We are likely to see each other again through some group hangouts with friends. What if he gets flirty again? Whats the best way to act/say? Be ice cold - zero reaction. I wish I had done this to that guy... so you do it... while you have the chance.
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