smile95 Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 How do you know who to trust. I tend to trust everyone. I believe that what they tell me is true, just as I am truthful with others. As I grow up, I am finding that people are not as honest as I thought. How can you spot liars? I thought I was a good judge of character and I get lied to all the time, believeing it all and then one day the wall comes crashing down and I am devestated. I guess I am naive? Having to jump back into the dating world soon, is there a good way to not get lied to? Is it something about me? Do they tell one lie and then think"wow that was easy, let's have another". I never had proof that my ex lied(a few half truths) but my first 2 bfs and my best friend lied to me all the time! I never would have known. Any tips for me in the future? Should I not be so trusting? SOmetimes I get gut feelings that people are lying to me and I am not sure if it is true or just me imagining things. THis happ a lot with my past ex. Caught him in 1 lie in 3 yrs, but I always thought he was lying since my 1st bf did. I do not want to blame other for past bfs mistakes, but when you get hurt so much, it is hard. How do i figure out what is a lie and what is just me obsessing over something?
XNemesisX Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 Well I learned this in a psych class.... It's EXTREMELY easy to lie to people because most people DO believe everything they hear (literally). So no, it's not just you. In most cases, the liar thinks the other person knows they are lying or suspects it when in reality the person getting lied to doesn't even think a second thought about the truthfulness of what they are saying. Some people are easy to spot, but most aren't. For me, it took experience with a pathological liar to get a pretty good idea of who is lying and who isn't. It wasn't until I had concrete evidence he was lying that, after that, he was like the little boy that cried wolf. Even if he was telling the truth, I didn't believe it. There is a good book called "Never get lied to again" that I am planning on buying. It gives you lots of clues and tell-tale signs that someone is lying. I don't remember his first name but I'm pretty sure his last name is Lieberman. Something worth checking out.
Author smile95 Posted July 19, 2005 Author Posted July 19, 2005 thanks girl...just finishing my PM to you! lol
Author smile95 Posted July 19, 2005 Author Posted July 19, 2005 X your PM box is full---can you erase some?
kellyp1 Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 I find myself easy to lie to also. And then I go the opposite extreme and question more then I should. The balance is hard to find. I made a personal choice myself years ago. If someone is lying to me, the truth ends up coming out eventually anyway and there is nothing I can do about it. If you gut is causing you to question them though time and time again, then know there is probably a reason for it. Listen to your gut-instincts and that will help a little. But look at all the really crazy people (murderers, rapists, etc...). There are always people ready to step up and say that they never saw it coming and that Mr or Ms X was the nicest most considerate person. There is not a lot you can do to know whether the professional liars are telling you the truth. But if you don't trust, you will never be able to meet the really nice people either. You have to find your own balance.
XNemesisX Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 X your PM box is full---can you erase some? Oh no!! I was wondering why I hadn't got your pm yet...I'm retarded I just deleted so I have room now...sorry about that!
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