jayt Posted January 14, 2017 Posted January 14, 2017 (edited) I was dating this really fun girl, super affectionate we hadnt slept together but levels of intimacy were growing and we acted very couple like on our dates. Everthing seemed to be clicking.Both of us were happy to take things slow as we didnt have much experience in dating. I got the impression she was nervous from a previous relationship. She comes from a broken family and has only been in one short relationship and me the same. I was getting nervous as our last date she mentioned that the last time she saw someone this much was her previous relationship and this scared her, we didnt open up much beond that but I told her a few things about me and my past that nobody would know and that I dont really tell people. Then spent our evening like normal. A few weeks past and me and her were both away and things got a bit busy so we couldnt meet up. But this comment stuck in my head and I wanted to ask her this in person but regretably sent a a long mesage asking how she felt about us, just as a feeler to let her know I liked spending time with her and id like to take time to get to know her better. Totally get this came over as needy and wasnt necessary. This was misinterpreted that I was looking for a realtionship which freaked her out and she was overwhlemed and not looking or ready for one, she wanted to cool things off. I came on too strong, apolagized for. She needed space and thought we are better of as freinds. Now she threw all the usual dating jargon and ordinarily I would have taken it at face value and leave it as a polite rejection. But I do think it may be deeper and thiers commitment and has anxiety trust issues. The last time she seen someone this much was in her relationship which she said worrried her, she was scared of finding stuff out about me she didnt like, Sadly never got chance to open up again and talk this through with her in person. I did say I couldnt accept us being freinds (as I was developing feelings for her) and it wouldnt work. Up to this we would chat and text daily. After this I sent a few weekly random messages, always light and fun to which I got no reply. Until one evening we were both out in the city and I tried to see if we could meet up. (I dont know why instead of amking an issue and miscommunication by text that i hadnt asked her out for a quick coffee before) I was quite persitent but she agreed. What followed was an awkward meeting. She was disinterested in talking so I chated with her freinds for a bit. Maybe she agreed because her freinds wanted meet me I dont know but did take this as a good sign ?! We did have a breif alchohol fuel chat were she she felt bad and just didnt want pressure and to have fun she genunly liked me and wanted to be just freinds said we could hang. was shes great company so I understood and said okay im cool with that. She sent me pic message after the holidays and I replied asking how things were but then silence. Ive not been in touch since and have gone total No Contact for 3 weeks now. shes not messaged mebut looks at my snap ive stoped looking at hers. Im in a better place and have accepted that she might never get in touch and thats okay. but do think about how things are with her ocaisonaly and would like to try goo back to where were at just going with the flow with no commitment, but recognize she might need more space for me to contact her again? Edited January 14, 2017 by jayt
NuevoYorko Posted January 14, 2017 Posted January 14, 2017 This is how "no contact" works: Because you are not fueling your feelings by being in contact with the person, you are able to put them behind you and move on. Yes, it will work. 1
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