serena2017 Posted January 14, 2017 Posted January 14, 2017 Hello! I am new to the forum and so happy I have been able to find a place to actually post my story and hopefully get some feedback advice, rather then landing on a site that wants my money. I apologize if this is long, I will try to be as brief as possible. I have been with my boyfriend for nine years. The last three have been awful, with constant bickering, confrontation and barely any sex. I tried so many times to talk to him about what was going on, but he basically dismissed my concerns and feelings. I became an angry hateful person and threatened on a regular basis to move out. About three weeks ago things came to a head when he didn't come home one night. I confronted him and he said he stayed with a "friend" who happened to be a woman. I totally freaked out. He said they were just friends and he had nothing to feel bad about and that he thought I didn't really care anyways. The next day he told me who she was ( i know her abd they have been friends for years.) Since that night he hasn't been back. I think he may be staying at our friend's vacation home nearby. One day he says I can leave if I want to and then a few days later, I should stay because its a nice safe place to be. He has never said things are over between us, and when i try to get a difinitive answer....he gets angry. I do not want to live in limbo and can handle it if he wants to end things...i just want to know what is going on. We own a landscaping business together so we text each other occasionally during the day to keep updated on things, but overall I have been trying the no contact thing. We have only seen each other a few times during this. The last time...he was very sweet and loving. Made me feel hopeful that we can maybe repair our broken relationship. Today was the most we texted and it included our feelings about what has been going on. He seems very depressed about what has happened over the last few years. I told him I am feeling great about myself, the future ( with or without him) and that I am not going to focus on the past anymore ang going to focus on me, so that I can be a better person for others. He then texted me about how many women are attracted to him, etc etc. I agreed with him and said that it was never the problem with me. I always found him exciting and extremely attractive. He then later texted that he missed me and I said that I did too. Flash forward a few hours....he stopped by the house to pick up his mail and feed our dog. When he saw me he seemed quite angry and didn't even acknowledge me and rushed out as fast as possible, and is away yet another night. I am at a total loss. I hate to throw away 6+ years, because of a few bad ones. I met him after divorcing after 17 years, and hate to have another failed relationship. And, i still really enjoy him and am still wildly attracted and think we can get back all the good we once had. I just want to know what is going on so that i can plan the rest of my life. Thank you!
treezy Posted January 14, 2017 Posted January 14, 2017 You don't really have to know what's going on to make plans for yourself I think, you may not agree but that sounds more like an excuse to hang on to whatever scrap of thread there is left. You know, the usual "I need a closure" thing. Assume it's over. Make plans for yourself and yourself only. If he comes back he does. If he doesn't, you'll be fine I don't see any mentioning of what happened to have led to you both bickering for the last three years. Was it business, or?
Recommended Posts