chumly Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 (edited) [] I have a friend that I think has a romantic interest in me but I am not sure how I feel about him at this point..but I am definitely at least interested in him as a friend. Anyway, today we were chatting a bit online and he told me that he is lonely and his mom thinks that if he had a steady girlfriend it would solve his issues. the following is the response that I sent back to him. I would like to know if people on here think my response to him was good and if you agree with what I said. I have gotten such good advice from people on here so would be interested in hearing what people think of my advice to him. Thanks in advance... "to be honest..I never heard of anybodys depressions being solved by having a girlfriend or boyfriend. it is nice to have it but them when you do and only ADDS to your life but I have actually never heard of that solving problems. Usually solving problems come first then the relationship develops from having a healthy and happy mindset in life and giving out positive energy...and people are therefore attracted to that energy. Whenever I hear people wanting a relationship to solve a problem like that or fill a void it never seems to work. Usually this is due to have unrealistic expectations attached to a relationship and expecting to find happiness from another source like that. which i think is the majority of the problems with people that search for love these days. I see the same people for years on the dating sites looking for a serious relationship..I can understand if they are just looking for dating or friends but find it odd when someone is looking for a serious relationship for years on a dating site and never seems to find one. It should not take that long. i think the problem is that these people all have such unrealistic and fantasy images of what to expect in a partner. if you dont mind my asking...why do you think you dont have a girlfriend?? since you seem to want one so much..I am just curious what you think the problem may be?? sorry if I am asking anything too personal or private. Just trying to help;)" were these good questions to ask him? was this good advice? it seems like he has been looking for a girlfriend forever on the dating sites and he has so many good qualities so I am just trying to help him figure out what the problem is. Thanks in advance. Edited January 13, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator moved to Friends and Lovers and edited title ~6
Author chumly Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 I just hope this response was not too cold or unfeeling towards him?? still interested in thoughts on my response to this person?? thanks:)
NuevoYorko Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 If you are conversing with a friend and you kindly express your honest opinion when asked for it, there is no right or wrong advice. Speaking of advice, mine to you on your other thread pertains here as well. Go out and meet people in real life. Online entanglements are a weak substitute, especially as a steady social diet. 2
Author chumly Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 thanks so much. yes, I agree and I am trying to do that as well. Thanks:)
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