ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I don't want the relationship, I miss the friendship with her. It's hard to believe that after 3 years it came down to this. it baffles me. But i hope that I can forget her soon You clearly still have feelings for her OP, or you wouldn't be posting here about it. And that's okay. It will take time to really heal. As such, friendship with her is not possible right now. Messaging her on FB or anywhere else is a bad idea. You might get a response, but do you really want to hear about her new boyfriend? Do you need to hear directly from her that she's happy with someone else? If she got together with him a month after breaking it off with you, then in all likelihood she started getting to know him while she was still with you. I'm not saying she cheated, but it's also not all that probable that she met and entered a relationship with him all within a month. A sad reality of breaking up is that most of us don't remain good friends with exes. The dynamic is never really the same, especially when one party (ie. you, in this case) didn't want to end it. Some people manage to stay friendly and civil, but I know very few cases in which the exes actually stay close after breaking up. This is why it's so important to cultivate existing friendships and begin new ones when a relationship ends. Some dumpees tell themselves they just want to be friends, but when the reality of their ex having moved on is staring them in the face...they suddenly realize it's actually over for good - and then friendship doesn't seem so appealing at all. The wound is opened up and you're back to Square 1. Keep working on your healing. Don't worry about dating yet. You're not ready for it, so be patient with yourself. And whatever you do, do not message your ex!
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