mianna Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 I've been dating this guy for about 4 months now and we are a couple. We call each other boyfriend girlfriend and all of that. He has been cute and passionate but its kind of been a rollercoaster. Up and down. So today, without any bad intentions, just simply because i wanted to ask him if he is still happy with me, if his proud of being mine and if he still wanted this relationsship as he did in the beginning. But somehow he got it all wrong and asked me why i would ask this and somehow got defensive about it. And he told me that no, now he isnt because i asked such a thing. What do you guys think about this. Was it such a bad thing that i asked this? I just wanted to hear it from him, because sometimes as a girlfriend you do, right? Even if you know deep down that he still with me because he wants me, right? Note: i wrote that trough text.
Gaeta Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Mianna how old are you? Being in a relationship is suppose to enhance our life not make it frustrating and miserable. This guy lives 3 hours away, you see him what, 1 time a week, 2 months ago you were complaining he was losing interest and now a thread about him being passive aggressive and bottom line just not-nice with you. New relationship are not suppose to be this difficult and a boyfriend is not suppose to be this mean, ever. It's time to break up, to find a nice boyfriend that doesn't live too far, a man that will take you out, that will make you smile and feel good about yourself.
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 (edited) Yeah, if this is really who this guy is then you need to be very careful. You want to be with a man who treats you well - which means that he doesn't get defensive, you don't argue very often and have significant "ups and downs", and he makes you feel confident and comfortable in his affections and intentions. I can't imagine ever wanting to be in a relationship that I would describe as a roller coaster... Healthy relationships should be supportive and comfortable, not stressful. Don't settle for anything less... Edited January 13, 2017 by BaileyB
Redhead14 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 I've been dating this guy for about 4 months now and we are a couple. We call each other boyfriend girlfriend and all of that. He has been cute and passionate but its kind of been a rollercoaster. Up and down. So today, without any bad intentions, just simply because i wanted to ask him if he is still happy with me, if his proud of being mine and if he still wanted this relationsship as he did in the beginning. But somehow he got it all wrong and asked me why i would ask this and somehow got defensive about it. And he told me that no, now he isnt because i asked such a thing. What do you guys think about this. Was it such a bad thing that i asked this? I just wanted to hear it from him, because sometimes as a girlfriend you do, right? Even if you know deep down that he still with me because he wants me, right? Note: i wrote that trough text. You shouldn't be riding a roller coaster in a relationship, especially, at only 4 months. That being said, it's not, likely, what you asked him as how you were going about getting the information you wanted. Sometimes asking about it that way implies that you sense he isn't happy with you and, maybe, you're feeling unloved, etc. and so, he's not doing a good job. -- A better way to word/frame it is: "You know, Xname, I'm happy with our relationship so far. Yeah, we've had some bumps along the way, and we can work on all that, but we do have fun doing, x,x, and x and I love how you do ____". "How do you feel about it all?" And he told me that no, now he isnt because i asked such a thing. -- However, regardless of how you framed it, this response is very immature. A more sensitive, mature man might feel a little put off, but he would understand where you're coming from at least and handle it with a little more tact, that's for sure. It sounds to me like this relationship isn't developing as it should. You shouldn't have to be asking these questions, especially at this point. I think because of the "roller coaster", you've been feeling anxious about the stability of the relationship and, rightly, so. It should be smoother. What has been causing the roller coaster "effect"? 2
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