Little feather Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 HI Everyon, This may be a stupid question but here it goes... I have been seeing this man on and off for a year now. He is 45 years old and has been divorced for 6 years. He has a daughter who is 7 and I have a daughter and son who are 6 and 5. Our kids get along well and his daughter adores me. He has not been able to commit to our relationship. I feel like over the year he has made some baby steps with being more comfortable with me getting close to his daughter, his family knows of me but have never met me, he made me a permanent person at his guard gate, little things like this. However, he does not call me his girlfriend, we are not exclusive, and I don't even know what you would call it. He is a very casual dater and he gets a lot of attention from women so I know he does not need me for sex he can get it other places. Every time I get close to moving on or pulling away he does chase me and I don't know why? He knows what I want out of a relationship and I think he goes back n forth about it. So recently I just stopped calling him or initiating anything and he has called me everyday. My birthday is tomorrow and he has asked to take me out to a nice dinner and then a surprise afterwards. Is this just for a booty call? I don't understand this man. I do think he assumes that if he does not make up his mind soon I will meet someone because he has made this comment to me. Is he just not that into me? Thanks for your response
Shanex Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 It is a casual relationship because your children even met. Seeing as he can without much efforts date other women, the optimistic in me thinks that he's a bit attached to you, because when you purposefully fade away, he's back at your door. It was the right thing to do.
Jj66 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Not a booty call in my understanding of the term. But that doesn't mean he's decided he wants to be in a committed relationship with you. Sounds like he may not know what he wants. If you want a committed relationship then you will have to make that a condition of your continued involvement. Make him put on his big boy pants and make a decision. I guess I'm very protective of my kids. I have never introduced them to anyone that I was not in a committed relationship with and can't really relate to those who do it differently.
Author Little feather Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 I should have started by saying we met at Disney World with our kids. We happened to live in the same town and our daughters met in the line and became friends so that is how we met actually by our daughters becoming friends.
Redhead14 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 HI Everyon, This may be a stupid question but here it goes... I have been seeing this man on and off for a year now. He is 45 years old and has been divorced for 6 years. He has a daughter who is 7 and I have a daughter and son who are 6 and 5. Our kids get along well and his daughter adores me. He has not been able to commit to our relationship. I feel like over the year he has made some baby steps with being more comfortable with me getting close to his daughter, his family knows of me but have never met me, he made me a permanent person at his guard gate, little things like this. However, he does not call me his girlfriend, we are not exclusive, and I don't even know what you would call it. He is a very casual dater and he gets a lot of attention from women so I know he does not need me for sex he can get it other places. Every time I get close to moving on or pulling away he does chase me and I don't know why? He knows what I want out of a relationship and I think he goes back n forth about it. So recently I just stopped calling him or initiating anything and he has called me everyday. My birthday is tomorrow and he has asked to take me out to a nice dinner and then a surprise afterwards. Is this just for a booty call? I don't understand this man. I do think he assumes that if he does not make up his mind soon I will meet someone because he has made this comment to me. Is he just not that into me? Thanks for your response He knows what I want out of a relationship and I think he goes back n forth about it. -- So do you . . . He behaves the way he behaves because he's content with the way things are and probably could do this for a really long time and has been. He's got one who wants more, knows he doesn't want what she wants, can't enforce boundaries and willing to string herself along because she see's little things that she things tells her he's getting closer, etc. It's easier to keep you regularly than to go out and see a bunch of different women who he may or may not be able to get sex from. You're a sure thing. he does not call me his girlfriend, we are not exclusive, -- What we have here is an FWB and a failure to accept what's being communicated by his actions. If you want more for yourself, go out and look for it. Don't accept less than you want and get yourself more invested in this guy. You're wasting your time. A year is a big piece of chronological real estate to spend with a guy who isn't going to give you what you want.
smackie9 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Don't accept a guy that is hazy about what to do......stop hanging onto hope, and move on.
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