Hopelessly in love with a girl who won't make it official

[Sammybadenc]

One of my biggest flaws which I hate is that I am a super sensitive guy.

All my mates seem like they are made of stone and I just crumble on the inside. My last girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with my best friend. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. So I picked up and moved to the other side of the country.

Was able to move back a year later.

 

When I got back in March last year I met this girl through my group of mates. We have since formed a pretty tight knit kind of group and hang out all the time. I got along with this girl(Grace) so well and eventually we started sleeping together. Since sleeping with her I fell quite hard. She then told me she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now. I was a little shattered but continued to see her. There was about a month in August last year where I had enough and kind of ended it. Because I see her all the time in my group I found it really tough. I was quite depressed. Before long she had wriggled her way back in and things were back to normal.

 

I have two girls that I was good friends with for years who she doesn't like. She hadn't even met them. One of them she knew of through her ex boyfriend and she thought she was trying to steal him. They both can't stand Grace and think she is leading me on and treating me like crap. They said I deserve way better. She isn't really treating me bad. She told me from the start she didn't want a relationship, so it is all on me and i'd rather have her in my life than not at all.

 

In maybe October last year one of the girls messaged me and asked me why I deleted her off snapchat. I didn't and realised it could have been Grace. Of course I made up some excuse about my phone playing up. Anyway a few days later the other girl messages me and asked why she was deleted and I knew straight away it was Grace. I think they knew the fact they were both deleted wasn't a coincidence. I just never responded and havent spoken to either of them since as they gave me way too much grief about this girl.

 

Since then we have been inseparable. Just after christmas she started posting photos of us two on her fb. She still refuses to be my girlfriend. She just wants to continue as it is. Everyone is pressuring us and calling us a cute couple all online for everyone to see and I really want to be. Everyone thinks we are together.

 

I have noticed though that her profile used to have no relationship status at all. Now it clearly says single. I don't know when she changed that, could have been months ago.

 

I am hopelessly in love with her. I am happy and unhappy at the same time. I don't know how to front this. Does she really like me? Why would she get jealous and delete my friends if she doesn't want to be with me? She always tells me how she loves spending time with me etc. I wish I was stronger from the start

[ashy555]

I don't know. Deleting your friends off you snapchat is sneaky. Did you ask her why she did that on your phone?

 

You would think that if she won't be with you after almost a year, then it's not going to happen.

Does she know how in love with her you are?

If I knew someone was that in love with me and I didn't return the feeling, I would put a stop to it straight away as its torture.

 

You need to put your cards on the table and give her the ultimatum. If she still says no then you need to get rid of her. This is not healthy for you. In the meantime she could find someone else and I can tell you now, that when she does, your heart will be crushed again. That in itself would be enough to scare me off.

 

Im sorry this is happening to you, but you need to be stronger.

Your friends were probably right.

[kassy]

She wants all your attention, because she likes attention, but she doesn't like you enough to want to date you. If Mr fantastic turns up she wants to be free to disappear off into the sunset... And she will And say she was never in a relationship blah blah blah

 

She sounds like a right manipulative piece of work.

 

My advice, end it now, spend time with real friends (like the girls who told you she is bad news). Move on with your life and find someone who likes you and thinks you are awesome and not some play thing to entertain them while they wait for something better.

 

I don't think you'll take the advice which is why it's. Bit on the harsh side. Please take it.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, she doesn't really like you. Not the way you like her, anyway.

 

She likes your affections and attention but that's where it ends. It also sounds like she likes to be in control and hold all the cards, which would explain her jealousy. It's not about you; it's about the power she has over you.

 

If you don't want to get hurt further, you need to stop seeing her.

[joseb]

How exactly did she delete snapchat friends of yours?.

[phineas]

Listen to your friends.

Asking women about dating advice with other women is a massive fail.

But much like men who can pick out a guy who is no good, women can do this also.

 

Think about this, your women friends haven't met this succubus you are with so they can only go on what you say about her and they have formed the opinion she is bad news. because you basically told them she is bad news.

 

You are here telling us she is bad news.

 

My suggestion is to drop the soul sucking harpy you are with now and go apologize to your women friends for being an idiot.

[Redhead14]

One of my biggest flaws which I hate is that I am a super sensitive guy.

All my mates seem like they are made of stone and I just crumble on the inside. My last girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with my best friend. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. So I picked up and moved to the other side of the country.

Was able to move back a year later.

 

When I got back in March last year I met this girl through my group of mates. We have since formed a pretty tight knit kind of group and hang out all the time. I got along with this girl(Grace) so well and eventually we started sleeping together. Since sleeping with her I fell quite hard. She then told me she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now. I was a little shattered but continued to see her. There was about a month in August last year where I had enough and kind of ended it. Because I see her all the time in my group I found it really tough. I was quite depressed. Before long she had wriggled her way back in and things were back to normal.

 

I have two girls that I was good friends with for years who she doesn't like. She hadn't even met them. One of them she knew of through her ex boyfriend and she thought she was trying to steal him. They both can't stand Grace and think she is leading me on and treating me like crap. They said I deserve way better. She isn't really treating me bad. She told me from the start she didn't want a relationship, so it is all on me and i'd rather have her in my life than not at all.

 

In maybe October last year one of the girls messaged me and asked me why I deleted her off snapchat. I didn't and realised it could have been Grace. Of course I made up some excuse about my phone playing up. Anyway a few days later the other girl messages me and asked why she was deleted and I knew straight away it was Grace. I think they knew the fact they were both deleted wasn't a coincidence. I just never responded and havent spoken to either of them since as they gave me way too much grief about this girl.

 

Since then we have been inseparable. Just after christmas she started posting photos of us two on her fb. She still refuses to be my girlfriend. She just wants to continue as it is. Everyone is pressuring us and calling us a cute couple all online for everyone to see and I really want to be. Everyone thinks we are together.

 

I have noticed though that her profile used to have no relationship status at all. Now it clearly says single. I don't know when she changed that, could have been months ago.

 

I am hopelessly in love with her. I am happy and unhappy at the same time. I don't know how to front this. Does she really like me? Why would she get jealous and delete my friends if she doesn't want to be with me? She always tells me how she loves spending time with me etc. I wish I was stronger from the start

 

So, she knows you want more with her and she knows she doesn't want what you want, yet, allows you to string yourself along, monopolize your time, cut out your friends surreptitiously????

 

You're a sensitive guy, would you do this to a woman?

 

She isn't really treating me bad -- You're doing a good enough job of doing that to yourself.

[kendahke]

One of my biggest flaws which I hate is that I am a super sensitive guy.

All my mates seem like they are made of stone and I just crumble on the inside. My last girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with my best friend. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. So I picked up and moved to the other side of the country.

Was able to move back a year later.

 

When I got back in March last year I met this girl through my group of mates. We have since formed a pretty tight knit kind of group and hang out all the time. I got along with this girl(Grace) so well and eventually we started sleeping together. Since sleeping with her I fell quite hard. She then told me she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now. I was a little shattered but continued to see her. There was about a month in August last year where I had enough and kind of ended it. Because I see her all the time in my group I found it really tough. I was quite depressed. Before long she had wriggled her way back in and things were back to normal.

 

Stop right there. Take responsibility for opening the door wide enough for her to saunter back through with confidence. She's done nothing here that you haven't given her permission to do by virtue of the fact that you ALLOWED it.

 

blah blah blah has nothing to do with anything

 

I am hopelessly in love with her. I am happy and unhappy at the same time. I don't know how to front this. Does she really like me? Why would she get jealous and delete my friends if she doesn't want to be with me? She always tells me how she loves spending time with me etc. I wish I was stronger from the start

 

ASK HER THESE QUESTIONS!!! We don't know.

 

If you're not strong enough to stand sentry to your own boundaries, then you don't belong in any serious relationship. You taught her how to treat you--as a weak individual she can walk over. You don't need a girlfriend right now--you need to address your self esteem issues with a therapist.

 

No one outside of yourself is responsible for your feelings. If you don't think you're worth respecting, neither will anyone else. They follow your lead.