Israfil Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 This has really been bothering me for quite some time now: How can you listen to bands / music that you love, if they constantly remind you of your ex/es? I now have at least two bands (not to mention numerous other pieces of music) that are ruined because they constantly remind me of my past. How can I get over this and reclaim this music for my own? Does anyone have any suggestions? I want my music back!
Opium Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 I know what you mean! Sometimes music is an outlet and now that you're going through this it's a killer reminder. What you could do is, don't listen to those particular bands for a while and let those feelings and memories die out a little. Just listen to other types of music maybe you'll find them just as appealing as the other bands you like. If you don't listen to them for a while it will be better the next time you do. Hope it helps.
Author Israfil Posted July 19, 2005 Author Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by Opium What you could do is, don't listen to those particular bands for a while and let those feelings and memories die out a little. If you don't listen to them for a while it will be better the next time you do. thanks opium! how long do you think this will take??
greenhorn Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 Hi Isra, Give it some time till you fully move over your ex. After some time when you are happy, you have some one in your life who loves ,you are happy and that time if you listen to them it won't bother you .
Rosalind Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 Oh, I soooo know what you mean. I can no longer listen to certain tunes because now they are tainted.
chaos70 Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 I used to not be able to listen to Journey due to a bad breakup. Now I can listen in its 80s glory, but can't listen to PM Dawn now. Not sure if that is good or bad.
butterfly29 Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind Oh, I soooo know what you mean. I can no longer listen to certain tunes because now they are tainted. Yeah, my ex used to play Bethoven on his piano all the time, and ruined it for me. Now I am like Alex from the "clockwork orange", only I can't listen to Moonlight sonata.
blue16 Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Simple solution is to replace those memories of your ex associated with that song, with new memories. For example, let's say you are with some friends at a party and you play a couple favourite songs of yours. Are you gonna be thinking about your ex the first time? Probably. But you will also start to associate the music with the party and the great time you are having. Slowly but surely the memories of your ex get weeded out from the songs that you enjoyed. If you are just sitting there listening to the same songs that remind you of your ex, then you will continue to think about her while hearing those tunes. But if you do something ELSE while listening to music, you'll star to think about that instead.
JS17 Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 i'm the same way. who isn't? in time you'll be able to listen to those songs again. one other suggestion, keep playing the song over and over and over and over until you're so sick of it that it doesn't make you cry and you probably never want to hear it again.
Opium Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by Israfil thanks opium! how long do you think this will take?? As long as it takes for your heart to heal, so in other words, whenever you do start to listen to them and they don't affect you you're cured.
AndrewJ Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 every time i hear "with or without you" i cringe which hurts cause i used to love the song
Author Israfil Posted July 20, 2005 Author Posted July 20, 2005 Thanks so much everyone! Originally posted by greenhorn Give it some time till you fully move over your ex. After some time when you are happy, you have some one in your life who loves ,you are happy and that time if you listen to them it won't bother you . Greenie! I've missed you! Thanks for replying! Well, I think I am over at least one ex. But every time I hear a particular band, I get sad, and my thoughts turn to him, and our past. Is there any chance this will ever go away, or am I doomed to always be sad when I listen to this band? Originally posted by Rosalind Oh, I soooo know what you mean. I can no longer listen to certain tunes because now they are tainted. Is there any hope? Originally posted by chaos70 I used to not be able to listen to Journey due to a bad breakup. Now I can listen in its 80s glory, but can't listen to PM Dawn now. Not sure if that is good or bad. Originally posted by butterfly29 Yeah, my ex used to play Bethoven on his piano all the time, and ruined it for me. Now I am like Alex from the "clockwork orange", only I can't listen to Moonlight sonata. * faints * - no more Beethoven??? That is a fate worse than death. Originally posted by blue16 Simple solution is to replace those memories of your ex associated with that song, with new memories. For example, let's say you are with some friends at a party and you play a couple favourite songs of yours. Are you gonna be thinking about your ex the first time? Probably. But you will also start to associate the music with the party and the great time you are having. Slowly but surely the memories of your ex get weeded out from the songs that you enjoyed. If you are just sitting there listening to the same songs that remind you of your ex, then you will continue to think about her while hearing those tunes. But if you do something ELSE while listening to music, you'll star to think about that instead. That's an excellent point. I will have to try that. Thanks! Originally posted by JS17 i'm the same way. who isn't? in time you'll be able to listen to those songs again. one other suggestion, keep playing the song over and over and over and over until you're so sick of it that it doesn't make you cry and you probably never want to hear it again. Not a bad suggestion. In fact, I've noticed that when I don't listen to those bands for a while, and then hear them, its almost worse. Its like an unpleasant jolt into the past. Originally posted by Opium As long as it takes for your heart to heal, so in other words, whenever you do start to listen to them and they don't affect you you're cured. Sheesh! how many years is this going to take? Originally posted by AndrewJ every time i hear "with or without you" i cringe which hurts cause i used to love the song Maybe some of the above suggestions will help?
butterfly29 Posted July 21, 2005 Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by Israfil * faints * - no more Beethoven??? That is a fate worse than death. Beethoven's music is so good, it's actually bad for you.
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