Boyfriend says my negative qualities/bad times in our rel arent "as bad" as his ex gf

[Ele88]

Is this good or bad...I did feel slightly offended but I am thinking I am not as much of a pain and thats what he meant?

[kendahke]

Boyfriend says my negative qualities/bad times in our rel arent "as bad" as his ex gf... Is this good or bad...I did feel slightly offended but I am thinking I am not as much of a pain and thats what he meant?

 

That comment has about as much appeal as someone throwing up on my shoe... gee... uh thanks?

 

But it would lead me to wonder if I'm a negative person and how I can get a grip on that aspect of myself.

[Gaeta]

So he's with you not because it's good but because the bad is tolerable. Nice.

[Redhead14]

Is this good or bad...I did feel slightly offended but I am thinking I am not as much of a pain and thats what he meant?

 

I don't appreciated being compared in any way, shape or form to another woman . . . nor do I appreciate back-handed compliments.

 

My response would be "Thank God you said that. I've been worrying so much about whether or not I am better in anyway than your last girlfriend."

[BaileyB]

I would definitely be offended, that is definitely a back hand compliment.

[Versacehottie]

Insensitivity chip....Missing. I think he means it as a good thing but it's not necessarily going to be received that way. You should tell him when is he going to not compare you to an ex-gf?

[Epicurus77]

You are looking for a b/f that charms you. Someone that makes you feel elevated. He does not have that communication style. Follow your needs.

[bachdude]

I'm prepared for the stones to get thrown at me, but could you give me some kind of context for that comment?

 

 

It just doesn't sound like something someone would typically say, like...

 

 

"Say, Honey, you know what, you're not nearly as bad as my ex".

[kassy]

I think context is really needed for a comment is this. As a stand alone statement it is crap, but in context it may have been a compliment (albeit a terribly worded and not very skilled one) however I'm sure we have all said things off the cuff which in hindsight didn't really convey exactly what we meant.

 

He could have been being rude. He could have also being nice and reflecting nicely that he really appreciates the relationship and that eve but poorly that in the tougher times they are much easier and nicer than he has experienced in the past.

[phineas]

What?

Like you don't have as many orbiters as his last GF?

[Gaeta]

I'm prepared for the stones to get thrown at me, but could you give me some kind of context for that comment?

 

 

It just doesn't sound like something someone would typically say, like...

 

 

"Say, Honey, you know what, you're not nearly as bad as my ex".

 

I agree, maybe OP was fishing for information about the ex and he got annoyed.