pringleshotandspicy Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 So i was depressed for a few years and was suicidal for a while. i was in a 1 year relationship with someone i wasnt really happy with in that time too. The last couple months of our relationship just concisted of arguing with each other. Overall it was a great relationship but i was still depressed wich had a negative effect on our relationship, in the beginning she made me forget about my problems but it started to get worse later on and she had things going on in her life aswell and we decided to break up. now about 1.5 years later I sorta went on a date with someone ive known for 4 years now and i always kinda was interested in her but never really talked or something to her. Im saying we went on a date but we just went out to eat* So i ended up falling in love with her, we still didnt talk a lot. later i told her and she responded with * i dont want to be in a relationship because this happened and this reasson * This was a real weird feeling of beeing in love. just thinking of her seeing her in public talking to her it helped a lot with my depression. *few months later* Dont want to say that im not depressed anymore but its like a lott less. and i tried to socialice more and i realised that i cant hold proper conversations. Probably because ive only been talking to like 2 people for the past few years and my relationship with this girl is now really awkward. she doesnt really mind but i said a ton of cringy **** the past few months now and really changed her perstective of me from a friend to some weird guy that isnt stable. I have like 4 months left before i cant see her as often anymore and it feels like thats a deadline for like becoming better friends with her now im unsure about my feelings for her. i still think about her a ton but the feeling of beeing in love is almost completely gone. i still get it tough when i talk to her sometimes but. im not sure as to what i want to do. i really want to be with her even as a friend doesnt necesserally have to be as her boyfrriend or something but i just want to be close with her. And i know that im deffinitally not ready for a relationship atm. so idk if i should just forget about her or still keep trying. tbh shes the only thing i care about right now and if i still should keep trying.. i can hold conversations if shes actually trying or if she wants to talk to someone at that time too. but i cant seem to keep conversations going by myself i know i need to socialice but should i wait till i get better or continue talking im really not sure about a lot of things and i really dont know what i should do Im sorry if this was a bit unclear its weird for me telling this and i dont really know exactly what my opinions are.
ZayKayWill Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. If you still want to be friends with her it doesn't hurt to try. You may not get the answer you want to hear, though, so you need to be aware of that and decide if it's worth it... If I was you I would at least want some closure so there's no bad blood or whatever, but that's for you to decide. Good luck.
Author pringleshotandspicy Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 what do you mean by closure so there is no bad blood?
Gloria25 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 You know, I sometimes watch Andy Stanley (late Saturday nights on NBC) and was flipping channels and ran across him on another channel the other day. Anywho, he was talking about taking a break from dating - for like a year, so we can do sort of a "cleaning" of our souls. Maybe you could consider taking a break from romantic interests and/or dating for a while cuz sounds like you're looking for another person to make you happy when what you could better do is seek some help for the depression and a life coach and work on your communication skills. I get ya, having someone helps, but think of it as trying to drive a car needing an oil change...it'll run, but you're tearing up the motor. So, gotta tune it up before putting more miles on it. If while you're working on yourself you wanna keep this girl as a "friend" is cool - as long as you aren't using her as an emotional crutch for the work you need to do on yourself. Who knows, maybe you can work on your communication skills with your interactions with her. BTW, there may be someone out there with communication levels like yours...With recent dude, one day I was letting him know that I'm trying to get to know him and he was like 'there isn't much to know' and, he's like me...very quiet and seems to try to think about what he says before he says it. While I csn push out of my comfort zone, me being a stoic person is something I feared would be a turn off to most guys...but was elated when he might be like me. I also hear stories of people calling into my favorite podcaster - who have their limitations - yet found someone similar who is cool with them "as is"....So don't feel you have to become someone you're not (i.e. a social butterfly) to meet your match. Well wishes
Author pringleshotandspicy Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 Beeing stoic is something that you choose/change imo and i dont think that its a turnoff for most people. but thank you for the reply 1
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