My boyfriend has added a woman to facebook after creeping her name on her ticket.

[mellybelly]

A week ago I was sitting next to my boyfriend and he was showing me someone's profile on facebook. I saw in his last searches that he had searched the name of a woman I didn't know. I asked and he said it was a woman he talked to in the line up to the plane. And that he had just peeked her name on her boarding pass and added her.

 

I got pretty upset because that is sleazy behavior in my book. He apologized and said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Yesterday I was going through my feed and I saw that he is now friends with her. So I looked at her profile and she is very attractive blonde who lives in Costa Rica. My boyfriend is going to Costa Rica and is refusing that I come with him. Coincidence?

 

I asked him to delete her because A) He doesn't know her. B) He is in a relationship. C) Adding her to FB in the first place was disrespectful to me.

 

He has refused to delete her and now we aren't talking. Any thoughts?

[hippychick3]

Not sure why you were looking at his FB searches, but I'm guessing your gut told you something was going on. It's pretty obvious his intentions aren't "honorable"...You know the answer.

 

You shouldn't have to tell your bf to delete anyone. He's an adult and made the decision to add this new woman to his FB that he met on an airplane. Nobody should be in a relationship where they have to monitor their SO's actions. That is not healthy.

 

Wish him a wonderful trip to Costa Rica and book your own girls trip to celebrate being newly single.

[normal person]

A week ago I was sitting next to my boyfriend and he was showing me someone's profile on facebook. I saw in his last searches that he had searched the name of a woman I didn't know. I asked and he said it was a woman he talked to in the line up to the plane. And that he had just peeked her name on her boarding pass and added her.

 

I got pretty upset because that is sleazy behavior in my book. He apologized and said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Yesterday I was going through my feed and I saw that he is now friends with her. So I looked at her profile and she is very attractive blonde who lives in Costa Rica. My boyfriend is going to Costa Rica and is refusing that I come with him. Coincidence?

 

I asked him to delete her because A) He doesn't know her. B) He is in a relationship. C) Adding her to FB in the first place was disrespectful to me.

 

He has refused to delete her and now we aren't talking. Any thoughts?

 

Sorry to hear that. When you ask him why he added her, and why he won't delete her, and why he's going to Costa Rica without you, what does he say?

 

You're right in my book, there's no justifiable reason for all that. Unless he can give a believable reason for it (and it doesn't sound like he can), I'd break up with him.

[mellybelly]

Not sure why you were looking at his FB searches, but I'm guessing your gut told you something was going on. It's pretty obvious his intentions aren't "honorable"...You know the answer.

 

You shouldn't have to tell your bf to delete anyone. He's an adult and made the decision to add this new woman to his FB that he met on an airplane. Nobody should be in a relationship where they have to monitor their SO's actions. That is not healthy.

 

Wish him a wonderful trip to Costa Rica and book your own girls trip to celebrate being newly single.

 

I was right next to him while HE was searching so I saw her name and asked who she was.

[smackie9]

A week ago I was sitting next to my boyfriend and he was showing me someone's profile on facebook. I saw in his last searches that he had searched the name of a woman I didn't know. I asked and he said it was a woman he talked to in the line up to the plane. And that he had just peeked her name on her boarding pass and added her.

 

I got pretty upset because that is sleazy behavior in my book. He apologized and said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Yesterday I was going through my feed and I saw that he is now friends with her. So I looked at her profile and she is very attractive blonde who lives in Costa Rica. My boyfriend is going to Costa Rica and is refusing that I come with him. Coincidence?

 

I asked him to delete her because A) He doesn't know her. B) He is in a relationship. C) Adding her to FB in the first place was disrespectful to me.

 

He has refused to delete her and now we aren't talking. Any thoughts?

Ya you'd be pretty stupid not to see what is actually happening here......dump this chump.

[Redhead14]

A week ago I was sitting next to my boyfriend and he was showing me someone's profile on facebook. I saw in his last searches that he had searched the name of a woman I didn't know. I asked and he said it was a woman he talked to in the line up to the plane. And that he had just peeked her name on her boarding pass and added her.

 

I got pretty upset because that is sleazy behavior in my book. He apologized and said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Yesterday I was going through my feed and I saw that he is now friends with her. So I looked at her profile and she is very attractive blonde who lives in Costa Rica. My boyfriend is going to Costa Rica and is refusing that I come with him. Coincidence?

 

I asked him to delete her because A) He doesn't know her. B) He is in a relationship. C) Adding her to FB in the first place was disrespectful to me.

 

He has refused to delete her and now we aren't talking. Any thoughts?

 

Go no contact and keep moving. Block, delete on every social venue.

[hippychick3]

I was right next to him while HE was searching so I saw her name and asked who she was.

 

Oh I don't blame you for looking.

 

Move on. There's no point in asking him to delete her. The fact he added her to begin with is the problem. He is obviously cheating or planning to cheat. No doubt.

[elaine567]

I guess he didn't peek her name at all, he chatted her up or maybe he already knew her, and now he will be meeting up with her on his trip to Costa Rica.

Of course you can't go with him, he doesn't want YOU there.

 

YOU can't fight this.

Walk away.

 

 

Is this the same guy who broke up with you before? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/600312-need-help-break-up

[mellybelly]

I guess he didn't peek her name at all, he chatted her up or maybe he already knew her, and now he will be meeting up with her on his trip to Costa Rica.

Of course you can't go with him, he doesn't want YOU there.

 

YOU can't fight this.

Walk away.

 

 

Is this the same guy who broke up with you before? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/600312-need-help-break-up

 

Yes, I thought that he probably asked for her name. So he has been lying about it AND yes he is the same guy who has put me through hell and begged for me back a month ago....

[VeveCakes]

Just a start of the lies... definitely NEXT this one.

[enddeck]

Yes, I thought that he probably asked for her name. So he has been lying about it AND yes he is the same guy who has put me through hell and begged for me back a month ago....

 

So are you just going to let this guy walk over you again and again.He is going to meet this woman and there is no way in hell he is bringing you with him.

If you were a man I would tell you to grow a pair.Try and get some self esteem and dump this guy.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Although I'm not wild about the idea of checking up on an SO's social media, I have to say that does seem creeper-ish (checking some stranger's name from her boarding pass and locating her on FB? I...dunno) and yes, it does seem as if she would have had to make one heck of an impression on her in order for him to basically stalk her to find her.

 

I don't know...I'd be uncomfortable with it too, TBH.

[Fingolfin]

Its sounds pretty bad... walk away.

[winny]

While there is nothing wrong in making new friends and adding them to Facebook, but in this instance his actions are very shady.

It must be very hurtful but this guy is not worth it.

[IfonlyIknew]

My question is... *WHEN* did he book that trip?? Either way... he crossed boundaries, I'd be done.

[mellybelly]

My question is... *WHEN* did he book that trip?? Either way... he crossed boundaries, I'd be done.

 

He booked it before.

[mellybelly]

While there is nothing wrong in making new friends and adding them to Facebook, but in this instance his actions are very shady.

It must be very hurtful but this guy is not worth it.

 

I agree there is nothing wrong with making new friends and adding them on facebook. But if his intentions were indeed to be friends with this random girl he could have just asked her for her Facebook info instead of spying on her boarding pass.

[winny]

So Costa Rica is a whole country, is he going to the same place where this woman lives?

[Redhead14]

The issue is that she was clear with him about how this activity makes her feel. He should care about that and not choose a behavior that would jeopardize their relationship -- again. She's not asking him to drop a long time friend . . . He begged her to take him back after he broke up with her a month ago. So, he's hurt her twice now . . . this is not baseball where you get three strikes . . .

 

This guy is treating her like a doormat and disrespecting her feelings again . . .

[RecentChange]

So Costa Rica is a whole country, is he going to the same place where this woman lives?

 

Well, to be fair.... It's a small country. About a 10th of the size of California, with a population that is less than half of the bay area.

 

It's like saying you are going to Maryland - sure, not tiny, but pretty easy to drive across in a few hours.

[winny]

The issue is that she was clear with him about how this activity makes her feel. He should care about that and not choose a behavior that would jeopardize their relationship -- again. She's not asking him to drop a long time friend . . . He begged her to take him back after he broke up with her a month ago. So, he's hurt her twice now . . . this is not baseball where you get three strikes . . .

 

This guy is treating her like a doormat and disrespecting her feelings again . . .

 

 

Or he is feeling that she is trying to control every bit of his life due to her own insecurities. If he chatted up an attractive woman and added her on Facebook that is not a crime. Why is OP feeling so threatened? This has more to do with their relationship than this new woman. She seems to already not trust him.

[VeveCakes]

Or he is feeling that she is trying to control every bit of his life due to her own insecurities. If he chatted up an attractive woman and added her on Facebook that is not a crime. Why is OP feeling so threatened? This has more to do with their relationship than this new woman. She seems to already not trust him.

 

who in their right mind would be ok with their bf doing this, then he won't delete the woman, and is going to her country and wont bring his gf....

 

The red flags are waving so hard the sky is red.

[Redhead14]

Or he is feeling that she is trying to control every bit of his life due to her own insecurities. If he chatted up an attractive woman and added her on Facebook that is not a crime. Why is OP feeling so threatened? This has more to do with their relationship than this new woman. She seems to already not trust him.

 

She has a reason to feel insecure with him and he gave her that reason -- he broke up with her!!!! He begged to come back to her and now he needs to earn her trust and demonstrate that he's all in now. Everything thing he does needs to be about her and show her he's serious. She shouldn't trust him given HIS history. Read her other threads.

[winny]

who in their right mind would be ok with their bf doing this, then he won't delete the woman, and is going to her country and wont bring his gf....

 

The red flags are waving so hard the sky is red.

 

 

He is just going on a trip which was planned before hand and made a new friend on Facebook. Rest all is speculation.

Would OP have the same reaction if this woman was "unattractive"?

If she doesn't trust her BF and needs to monitor and control his online activities then that in itself is more than enough reason to break it off.

[winny]

She has a reason to feel insecure with him and he gave her that reason -- he broke up with her!!!! He begged to come back to her and now he needs to earn her trust and demonstrate that he's all in now. Everything thing he does needs to be about her and show her he's serious. She shouldn't trust him given HIS history. Read her other threads.

 

 

Hmm, read some of it... yeah... well... he gave her the reason and still she got back with him... that was a wrong step for OP. Once trust is gone it is very hard to have a normal relationship. Each time he will speak to any woman OP will feel insecure. This relationship doesn't seem to have a future.