Elowen Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 I started dating someone six months ago and our relationship was good. We both agreed we were incredibly compatitble and never fought. About three months in, he told me that he loved me but wasnt in love with me, this was hard to take but I realised that after just three months it was expected. We kept on dating, met each others families and friends and things were good. Before Christmas, we started to bicker a bit and decided to go on a three week break to gain clearer perspective. We still talked during this time. When we saw each other the beginning of January, we decided to give it another go and it was going well. During the talk about getting back together, he told me that over the break up period he had been on two dates with someone else. He said that during this day, he looked at her and wished she was me, and this was the realisation that he was actually in love with me and wanted me back. Although this was hard, I agreed that we should get back together, but that I wanted a week to clear my head. During this week he became hysterical over me, ringing me crying, turning up at my house early hours of the morning proclaiming his love for me, and claiming that he just couldnt bear it if I was to get with someone else. He was even sent home from work for being so upset and so madly 'in love' with me that he claimed he didnt know what to do. He came round and we snuggled up and talked, he said that he believed I was the first girl he had even been properly in love with and that he could imagine marrying me and had even told his friends and family this. While this conversation was happening, the other girl messaged and asked to see him, and he told her that he was in love with me. She said that she didnt care and that she would help him get over me if he didnt want to be with me. After then again sobbing on the floor telling me how much he loved me, he then proceeded to leave to 'clear his head'. The next day he text to say that he would always be in love with me, but he had decided to go see this other girl, and that for now he did not want me to talk to him or see him again. Im a bit confused? How can someone be so in love with you to the point where they can not eat, sleep, think, even go to work or go an hour without seeing you, and then turn around and walk out of your life like its nothing? Any advice about what I should do would be great :-) currently switched my phone off so have no idea if he tried to contact me or not. 1
Satu Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 He never loved you. He was infatuated with you for a while, until he met someone else he didn't love, but got infatuated with. He knows no more about the meaning of the word 'love' than he knows about how to cure cancer. No contact *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete him from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. 2
Leigh 87 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 haaaaaaaha. Oh my Lord what a stupid idiot this guy is. I had a guy like this! He cried, professed his love, balled his eyes out in front of me when I came to collect my things.. ...Only to meet the next girl and think he was oh so in love with her too; then the next one was apparently the true love of his life. Listen, this guy WAS NEVER in love with you. Not even close! Men that are in love do not have any interest in other women. There ARE some poly men who cannot fall for the one woman but that is not common, usually the guy just is not that into you but is desperate and lonely and needed to cling to you. Trust me. He DID NOT love you, nor was he in love. Delete, block, NEVER compete with another woman for a guys affection. 3
arsenalfan77 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 exactly right! when we are in love with someone, we know immediately, and consider no other options! 2
Satu Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 All his protestations of love where nothing more than the expression of his neediness. Love doesn't turn you into a toddler and make you roll about on the floor. He's an idiot, just as Leigh 87 said. Take care. 2
fromheart Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 And how long before he decides that he doesn't love you and needs to date other women again? Once they've done it and got away with it, its way easier for them to do it again. Walk away and move on, seriously.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 Dude sounds..unbalanced. He isn't relationship material. Bullet dodged. 1
LostConfusedLover Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 OP, He sounds very emotionally unstable and looks to have low self-love and self-esteem. He sounds like he is looking to other people to give him a purpose. All in all, he really shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone until he learns that he has to love himself and that no one will ever love yourself more than you. Not in a narcissistic way, but a healthy self-love where you aren't co-dependent on anyone to feel like you're loved or have a purpose in life. You should definitely initiate NC like everyone else suggested. Best of luck to you.
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