Coffeeloverxoxo Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 Hey all, I've been dating my boyfriend for just under a year now. We've been on again, off again due to trust issues, his alcoholism, etc. I'm not sure if I should trust him because recently I have found a few suspicious things to which he has no explanation for. First of all he cannot drive and has to take the bus due to a revoked license from a DUI. We spend the weekends/nights together and a few days of the week. Recently, he got a weird alert at 11pm and I checked his phone while he fell asleep and saw that a girl named "kj" with a smutty picture said "come over hun". I freaked out and woke him up and made him unlock his phone, when he clicked the message it disappeared, like there was no app or anything linked to it. He said he had no clue what it was. The next morning I did some digging and realized it must have been kik messenger. Sure enough, his phone number synced me to his account. He had his real name but a pic of a wolf. I freaked and got into his email, found a weird message in his sent folder to a f4m Craigslist ad and all he said was "offer still available?" And I looked at his synced google images and found weird pics of him holding his penis over the toilet (face and body not included). Was unable to get into his kik tho.... He told me the dick pics weren't being sent to anyone, that he was seeing how it looked because it has been hurting. (Which was true, he complained about it a lot and even went to the dr for it and was prescribed jock itch cream). He told me he logged into the kik and nothing was there, he doesn't even have the app installed. (Again, maybe true? It didn't open on his phone) and he doesn't know about the craigslist thing, thinks his email was hacked or someone changed their Craigslist posting? He did have a ton of sent messages to jobs and apartment postings on there... But I am so scared for this all to be true.. he is not very sexual and has always been a respectful and romantic guy. He is sexually inexperienced and waited soooo long to even kiss or try to have sex with me when we started dating. I want to believe the kik thing, because when I reopened my kik account I had a weird message from a slutty looking woman, ironically also at 11pm.. and my friends told me there's a lot of porn bots on kik or fake women? And I've read that kik messages can be "phantoms" and disappear... please, what do you guys think? I love this guy so much but am scared to move forward. He is talking about moving in together soon and getting married. He posts me all over his social media and I've never found anything else on his phone, no weird texts or phone calls from anyone.. all his friends know about me. Oh, also wanted to add I've had an std test due to paranoid and it was clean.
Zahara Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 "On and off again due to mistrust, alcoholism, etc." Along with all the other social media oddness -- and you are asking if you should trust your boyfriend? This relationship has slapped you in the face one too many times and you're still asking. "Love" isn't enough to sustain a relationship and "love" in your situation is a toxic attachment between two people who are clinging together for dysfunctional reasons. This is not love. 2
kassy Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 Agree with Zahara, you can do so much better than this. Ask yourself how does this relationship make you feel? My guess is insecure and codependent. It's not should you stay that you should be asking but how fast can you leave the relationship and how do you make better relationship decisions in the future.
VeveCakes Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 There are ways to hide apps on your phone....guaranteed the kik app is hidden. Guys don't take pictures of their junk for anything other than to send to other men or women. He can look at it himself to see whats wrong...he doesn't need the pic. He sounds like a full blown liar. FYI on Craigslist you have to verify your ad with a phone number and email address linked, so there is no such thing as "craigslist spam".
kendahke Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 I'm not understanding why you insist upon being in a relationship with someone you can't trust to the point where you're invading all of his communiques to prove, what exactly? Something that you already know---he's untrustworthy and a waste of your time and youth. Question becomes: why do you esteem yourself so slenderly that you feel this is the best you can do?
Gaeta Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 Hey all, I've been dating my boyfriend for just under a year now. We've been on again, off again due to trust issues, his alcoholism, etc. I'm not sure if I should trust him because recently I have found a few suspicious things to which he has no explanation for. First of all he cannot drive and has to take the bus due to a revoked license from a DUI. Let kj have him. You won't be losing much, actually you will be gaining in life quality. Then ask yourself why you are dating an alcoholic that makes your life miserable. 1
Kempeitai Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 Stop reading after alcoholism. What are you thinking OP? Let another person deal with that. 2
Homer J Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 I'm hoping you are posting this just to reconfirm what your already thinking. It's guys like this, that are making dating difficult for normal guys. I've dated 3 women now that after a month or so start wondering when I'm going to be an ahole like there ex's. Dump him before you get messed up any more, and lose faith in the male gender. Then figure out what is drawing you to him. What are you afraid of? All the good guys are taken?
Sweetfish Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 There are ways to hide apps on your phone....guaranteed the kik app is hidden. Guys don't take pictures of their junk for anything other than to send to other men or women. He can look at it himself to see whats wrong...he doesn't need the pic. He sounds like a full blown liar. FYI on Craigslist you have to verify your ad with a phone number and email address linked, so there is no such thing as "craigslist spam". Bingo. He is a liar 1
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